by Mike Genung
…for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,”
Hebrews 13:5
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners;
and purify your hearts, you double–minded. Be miserable and mourn and weep;
let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom.
Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.
James 4:8–10
There are dark moments when we’ve fallen so far for so long that everything goes black. Perhaps we’ve willfully rebelled against God and our lives have exploded. Our heart is hard, and all hope seems lost. Maybe the train wreck was so severe that we lost everything… even our freedom.
Then everything we try to make things right goes wrong. We can’t stop lusting, and even when we apologize to someone, our flesh pushes its way out and we go on an anger binge and hurt them again. We pray for God’s help, but it doesn’t seem like He’s there. Or cares.
“Is there a shred of hope left? Has God left me?”
God’s character does not change. If He says He will not leave you, He means it. The question is not His faithfulness, but how you will respond. God doesn’t leave men. It is deceived, bitter men who walk away from God.
Colossians 2:13 says that He has forgiven us of all of our transgressions. All means all. 1 John 1:9 says that if we merely confess our sins He will cleanse us.
Everything you need for restoration is already available to you from the Lord. The next move is yours.
Quit trying to fix yourself and/or your circumstances and draw near to Him. It may be that God is saying, “The more you try, the worse it will get for you. Just come to Me.” As you draw near to Him, pour out all of the sin, hardness of heart, hatred, rebellion, pride, lust, and especially, the double–mindedness. Now is the time to choose which God you want to serve; trying to serve two gods will ruin you. Your heart may be hard because the false god you’ve been worshipping has left you cold, empty, and miserable.
Maybe you’re so numb that you’re not able to “be miserable, mourn and weep.” Confess this to Him, and ask Him to gently break you. God’s kindness and patience are everlasting (Psalms 136); keep pressing in and remember that He’s promised to draw near to you as you do the same (James 4:8).
Humble yourself by confessing your sins and your hard heart to others and asking them to pray that God would soften you.
Then, do something that may not feel right. Thank God for forgiving you for all that you’ve just confessed. 1 John 1:9 says to confess our sins—nothing more. The blood of the cross covers it all, so refuse to wallow in self–condemnation, which is pride in reverse. Receiving God’s forgiveness is a humbling act in itself because He freely offers His love and kindness after we have slapped Him in the face.
Keep drawing near to Him, no matter what, and wait for His mercy.
Excerpt from 100 Days on the Road to Grace, chapter 67