“And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”
Mark 12:30-31
“Who is my neighbor?”
Luke 10:29
A month ago, I was home one afternoon, trying to rest. I say “trying” because our neighbor across the street was blasting his radio so loud that the sound was bouncing off the walls—and my head. After tossing and turning for several minutes I got up and walked across the street. My neighbor was outside, working on his truck; it was his truck stereo that was on blast mode. He looked at me with a smile as I approached him. Without introducing myself I said, “Uh, hey man, your music is so loud I can hear it in my house.” Smile gone. He got in his truck and turned it down, and I walked away without saying more.
As the weeks passed I became less comfortable (convicted?) for the way that conversation went. It’s not that I was wrong, but as I know from experience we can say the right words the wrong way and still lose. “Love is patient, kind…”
Last week my neighbor was outside again. I walked up to him and said “I didn’t introduce myself the first time I met you and don’t think I handled it well. My name is Mike.” He introduced himself—his name is Esteban—and we started talking. Turns out he is a Christian. I tell him I am too and share a tiny bit about Blazing Grace. Then Estaban opens up about his life, including some struggles he has in trusting others with certain issues. For most of the next 15 minutes, all I do is listen. I ask a question or two, but don’t give any advice or comment.
As we finish the conversation, we agree to stay in touch. Esteban says, “I don’t know why, but I feel like I can trust you.” I don’t show it, but internally I’m surprised. We just went from me having a slice of humble pie to earning Esteban’s trust in 20 minutes.
A month prior we had a contractor out to the house to do some repair work. Afterward I had the same experience where he opened up with some struggles with his life. Toward the end he told me he believed he could trust me “because I looked him in the eye.” For the most part I just listened.
“Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger”
James 1:19
These days, many want to be heard, but few listen. Just look at social media if you doubt this especially, if it’s a Christian page; there are theology wars all over the place. Sometimes the simple things make a big difference. In the two encounters I described above all it took was a dash of humility, keeping my comfort bubble deflated, and listening without trying to fix. Some are way too quick to pull their Bible gun out of its holster and start firing verses or unwanted advice without taking the time to get to know the other person.
Occasionally one of our team members will say “I feel like I’m just being a friend” to the person they’re walking with. It’s true. Especially in the American church, where 80% don’t meet with another believer on a consistent basis for the purpose of support, accountability, and prayer. I might be a multi-millionaire if I parked outside of a megachurch on Sunday morning with a sign that read:
Friends available.
We listen without preaching. Advice optional.
Low rates; all major credit cards accepted.
People are lonely and many aren’t getting connected at church where everyone is comfort-bubbled. Then there are those who don’t even go to church anymore but call a livestream or TV program their church service. Yeah, and I suppose they have dinner with their TV and take it out on walks too. “Excuse me TV, please pass the ketchup.”
Meeting with another believer for support, prayer, and accountability; going to a support group, (as men who want to break free from sexual sin need, as well as their wife), attending a prayer meeting, or just walking across the street to meet your neighbor are simple things. Pastors need this big time. I made two new friends just because I was willing to pop my comfort bubble and listen.
Our comfort bubbles are killing us.
I hear “I’m lonely” all the time, but once I suggest that the other person meets with another believer or group consistently, excuses start flying. “Too busy, (Doing what? Staring at your phone/TV 6 hours a day, which is the national average?), “the church isn’t a safe place” (So? Isn’t God big enough to provide you the right person or group, especially since you’re out of His will in isolation and need connection with others?) “I don’t need it” (Yes, you do, every believer is God-wired with a hunger for connection for Him and other believers—which is why you’re struggling with loneliness—you just don’t wanna pop your comfort-bubble and take a risk).
There are no benefits to living the isolated life.
US Surgeon General Warns About the Dangers of Loneliness
WHO Declares Loneliness a Global Public Health Concern
Social Isolation and Dementia Risk
The Link Between Pornography and Loneliness
Your AI Companion Will Support You No Matter What
“For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!”
Ecclesiastes 4:10
“Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire;
he breaks out against all sound judgment.”
Proverbs 18:1
“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”
Hebrews 10:24-25
“The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.”
Genesis 2:18
It’s hard to encourage others or carry out the second command to love “our neighbor” in isolation. The Good Samaritan wouldn’t have ministered to the man on the way to Jericho who was beaten by robbers if he stayed home watching Tiktok videos or The Chosen. The God we serve wants us to get connected with and be a blessing to others. This isn’t all about us and our needs, but what we have to offer. God is quite capable of opening doors for us; the question is whether we will walk through them.
We have support and prayer groups running throughout the week. If you’re struggling with porn or sex addiction, choose one the mens support groups. If you’re a hurting spouse, get plugged into one of our wives groups.
We also have prayer meetings going on during the week that are open to everyone. I’m betting there are many of you who rarely if ever attend a prayer meeting. You’re missing out, big time. They’re nothing like the connection with God and our brothers and sisters in Christ that can only come in a prayer meeting.
Every believer should be a part of a tribe or at least have one or two other believers they can meet and pray with on a consistent basis. American Style Christianity where everyone stays comfort-bubbled is a bust.
Contact us if you want to get plugged in. One simple step can make a big difference.