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insearch
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| Joined: | Sat Aug 20th, 2005 |
| Location: | Dallas, Texas USA |
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Posted: Fri Sep 30th, 2005 02:27 am |
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Well I confesss. Several weeks away from this site for a reason. I fell right back into the pit of hell that is M. Hours on the net and not one visit to Blazing Grace or any other source of spiritual support. Hours on the same old sites doing the same old things. I was so encouraged at the beginning. 6-days free of porn and then I got curious and looked again, telling myself it would only be one time, then back on the wagon. Boy, did I underestimate it's power over me. I am so discouraged now, I feel like if i have been this way for this long, can I really get out for good? 
I feel like a drug addict sometimes. Like I am about to take a snort of cocaine or something. I had a friend who was a coke addict. his behavior was eerily similar to mine. Perhaps mine is not illegal as his behaviour was, but every bit as dangerous and destructive. Perhaps more so. I am going to make a concerted effort to visit at least once a day. Also seriously thinking about putting one of those porn filters that are intended to keep kids out of porn sites. Maybe if I can't get into the bar, I won't drink?
To those of you who are far along in your recovery, please let me know how you did it. How you fought the strong urges that seem to capture me and not let go.
____________________
In search of a better life.
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run26.2
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| Joined: | Mon Jul 25th, 2005 |
| Location: | Houston, Texas USA |
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Posted: Sat Oct 8th, 2005 10:24 pm |
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All things are possible through Jesus Christ who strengthens us (Phillipians 4:13). Do not get discouraged and do not lose hope. Losing the battle just gives us an opportunity to get closer to God and to tell Him how much we need Him. "The battle belongs to the Lord." (Psalms) Also "draw near to God and He will draw near to you." Be encouraged and of good cheer - God is with you.
run26.2
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mike
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Posted: Tue Oct 11th, 2005 06:01 pm |
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>To those of you who are far along in your recovery, please let me know how you did it. How you fought the strong urges that seem to capture me and not let go.
1. No more playing games with lust; no compromise. We have to go all out; half hearted efforts don't get it done. If something is causing you to fall, then take it out. If internet porn is a problem, then remove the possibility you could fall with it by taking the appropriate action.
2. Isolation is death; stay out and away from it every day. Pack your life with other men. Go to meetings, make phone calls - go all out to erase all isolation from your life.
3. Deal with the root issues causing you to look for lust. Meaning you need Jesus in your heart, not just your head. Seek His face with everything you have.
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blonderachie
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| Joined: | Wed Oct 12th, 2005 |
| Location: | Tucson, Arizona USA |
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Posted: Wed Oct 12th, 2005 09:00 pm |
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| The longer you are sober, the easier the fight gets. I am not saying the temptation will go away, but it will get easier to just say, "No, I am better and stonger then that". I am praying for you right now
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RTK
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| Joined: | Wed Oct 5th, 2005 |
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Posted: Sun Oct 16th, 2005 12:24 am |
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Mike,
Your list looks good, However, I would add #4) Keep busy. Idle time needs to be structured. and 5) Take care of ones self. Perhaps a creature comfort reward for doing a good job, i.e., a special treat or a good nap!
As I mentioned to you in previously, I don't have much intimate interaction with my Christian brothers. I am somewhat isolated (This forum help eliminate some of the isolated feeling!) . Even though I make efforts where and when I can, I often find myself resorting to #4 - not in a compulsive, crazy, addictive workaholic fashion....but I just make sure I've got things to do. If I do it well and stay above reproach...then maybe I'll go to #5 ( - = I sometimes also need to remember to slow down and take one day (sometimes one minute) at a time.
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lonelyatheart
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| Joined: | Mon May 7th, 2007 |
| Location: | Arizona USA |
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Posted: Mon May 7th, 2007 10:41 am |
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RTK wrote: Mike,
Your list looks good, However, I would add #4) Keep busy. Idle time needs to be structured. and 5) Take care of ones self. Perhaps a creature comfort reward for doing a good job, i.e., a special treat or a good nap!
As I mentioned to you in previously, I don't have much intimate interaction with my Christian brothers. I am somewhat isolated (This forum help eliminate some of the isolated feeling!) . Even though I make efforts where and when I can, I often find myself resorting to #4 - not in a compulsive, crazy, addictive workaholic fashion....but I just make sure I've got things to do. If I do it well and stay above reproach...then maybe I'll go to #5 ( - = I sometimes also need to remember to slow down and take one day (sometimes one minute) at a time.
truly agree with you, an idle mind is a devil's workshop.... I try so hard to keep busy and when ever I am idle I get tempted and very seldom I am able to control my urges... but tonight is the night, no more porn in my life, no more mastrubating, its my first time on this site and it feels good to be in the company of some great men of god who can help me deal with the my issues....
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johnny
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Posted: Tue May 8th, 2007 04:36 am |
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I hope you are doing well. I am sorry to hear about your recent struggle and will pray that you allwo God to overcome this problem for you. Dont' fight it alone.
ONe thing that works for me is having a routine. Almost all of my acting out happened at night. I would watch the news, then go to my computer for a night cap of porn and masturbation before bed. It was my routine.
Now I watch the news and go upstairs for a night cap of reading and prayer. I look forward to this time all day. I don't always read the bible in fact most days I don't. Mostly I read bible based recovery books.
Most day I try to read and pray in the morning too. I call it bookending my day with Christ.
The result: I used to lay in bed after my nightly routine feeling guitly and disconnected from God. Now as I lay in my bed I feel wrapped in his love.
One more thing. I would like to ask all of you folks to pray for me tonight. I have felt very frustrated this week with various things. when I get this way sometimes I feel like acting out. Please pray for me that I remain strong.
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guitarist63
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Posted: Wed May 9th, 2007 01:09 am |
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I'll pray for you, Johnny. Very glad to hear about your new routine of prayer and reading time with the Lord at the end of the day. The more we pray, I think the more we have a desire and a need to spend more time alone with God. Stephen
Last edited on Sat Jun 23rd, 2007 08:40 pm by guitarist63
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crucified123
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Posted: Sun May 13th, 2007 10:17 pm |
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Hello, the first rule to recovery is to recognize that you have a problem.
The second is to admit to yourself and another person (the more the better) that you are an addict and that you have and are continuing to run your own program while deluding yourself that you can manage and control this.
The third rule of recovery is: STAY OUT OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
God tells us this constantly throughout the entire Bible. The accountability is a huge issue for you - basically you don't have a system set into place that would enable you to examine your way and to put into place those things that would confront the rationalization, justification, and denial that wreak and enables or triggers to dip one finger into the water. "Just for a second, nobody will know, I can handle this with what I know so far, besides I can just confess it and then start all over again, so on, and so on, and so on.
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guitarist63
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Posted: Mon May 14th, 2007 12:25 am |
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If I could find an accountability group in the church I go to, or in another church in my city (there are an enormous number of them here), I will sign up for it. Otherwise, I am happy to carry on for the present with God and BG. I am single - I don't have to please a spouse. I am focusing on pleasing God. Don't press me any more with your advice, please. Stephen
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crucified123
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Posted: Mon May 14th, 2007 10:57 am |
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Dear Stephen,
Sorry, guess I hit a nerve, huh. Didn't mean to offend.
As requested, I will respect the boundary that you set for yourself. I don't know where you live, but it's my understanding that there are "Celebrate Recovery" and "Overcomer Outreach" internationally.
The wounds of a friend is far better than the kisses of an enemy.
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guitarist63
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Posted: Fri May 18th, 2007 12:50 am |
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Thanks for your inspiration Crucified three times. I will try and get into a group. Stephen
Last edited on Sat Jun 9th, 2007 10:06 pm by guitarist63
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crucified123
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Posted: Fri May 18th, 2007 06:42 am |
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Don't give up Stephen -- keep looking = ask your online tech to help you hook into the browser that you found. Email the group and let them know you're having problems. Just don't give up - find another group online.
To Everyone:
Anyone who is willing help Stephen search for an online accountability group. He is like the man that has no clothes. Let not just say God bless you, but help him to put on the clothes he will need to win the victory!!!!!
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guitarist63
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Posted: Fri May 18th, 2007 11:11 pm |
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God bless you, Crucified123 for your kindness and I have tried Skype download twice but unfortunately even the old Skype documents will not download. Am departing early tomorrow for a men's day at a local church. Porn is one of the seminars. Blessings, Stephen
Last edited on Sat Jun 23rd, 2007 08:43 pm by guitarist63
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TimM
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Posted: Sat May 19th, 2007 03:31 pm |
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Stephen,
I did a quick search on UK meetings and came up with this:
SA, http://www.sa.org/top/United%20Kingdom/ , has meetings in Birmingham, Bournemouth, Bristol, Frome, London, Manchester and Oxford.
SAA, http://www.sexaa.org/meetings.htm , has meetings in England in Banbury, Brighton, Bristol, Folkstone, London (13 of them), Plymouth, Reading and Richmond; and in Scotland in Dundee, Edinburgh and Glasgow.
SCA, http://www.sca-recovery.org/find.htm#outside , has a meeting in London.
SLAA, http://www.slaafws.org/meetinfo.html#uk , lists a UK phone contact, but nothing more.
You could always try calling the nearest meetings and see if people there know about any nearer to you that may not be on the international web pages.
There is information about on-line SLAA meetings at http://slaaonline.org . You can connect to those using either an IRC client like mirc or a java-enabled web browser. The same server has several other rooms called, "saa", "sca", and "retreat" that have 12-step meetings at other times.
Tim M.
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crucified123
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Posted: Sat May 19th, 2007 03:40 pm |
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Dear Stephen,
I also have a Windows 98 and recently experience a browser problme. I was told that the Window 98 is much better than the later version 2000 (?). What you need to do is contact your server online to help fix the problem.
Have a cool time at the seminar.
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guitarist63
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Posted: Sat May 19th, 2007 05:56 pm |
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Thanks Crucified123, the Mens day was a success. Stephen
Last edited on Sat Jun 23rd, 2007 08:44 pm by guitarist63
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guitarist63
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Posted: Sat May 19th, 2007 06:11 pm |
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Hi Tim,
Thanks very much for your very kind efforts in researching sex addicts sites in the UK. None of those sites you listed (which I think I went through in my searches) are anywhere near this part of the country. I met together with an accountability group from my church for the first time at a mens meeting and I shall be seeing them every week. Otherwise, there is the Every Mans Battle website which looks promising. I don't think I am going to be able to escape freedom from "m" with all this accountability. Do you need prayers for anything specific. As I see it, your heart condition is one area to pray for. Stephen
Last edited on Sat Jun 23rd, 2007 08:48 pm by guitarist63
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crucified123
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Posted: Sat May 19th, 2007 06:32 pm |
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Dear Stephen,
Way to go guy! Thank you Jesus and Tim too!
Thanks for giving us an update and sharing about the seminar too.
Victory comes one step at a time and if you're going to fall, fall forward towards God's word and in the fellowship of the brethern which triggers and temptation comes your way. So very, very, awesome to know that you are one brother that's not going to give up and will enable sisters to be able to know that you are deligently seeking to purify your heart, mind, body, and spirit, and to keep it that way. Be ye Holy, for I am Holy.
I am so very glad about your church willingness to go the extra step to address this directly, as it is a scourge on the body and I believe serving to make many churches anemic. I expect great things to bome about in it as the brothers step up to base to get this wretched bondage out of their lives and be the leaders tathat God will call them to be. Amen, Amen.
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guitarist63
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Posted: Sat May 19th, 2007 10:37 pm |
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Crucified123, God is working in the hearts of the people here. Guitarist63
Last edited on Sat Jun 23rd, 2007 08:52 pm by guitarist63
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