| Author | Post |
|---|
Diane
Member
| Joined: | Tue Feb 20th, 2007 |
| Location: | Maine USA |
| Posts: | 41 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |    |
|
Posted: Sun Feb 25th, 2007 05:03 am |
|
| Hi, I posted on the introduction a few days ago, shared my story... I have struggled with masturbation/porn and not my husband... can you believe that sometimes I have masturbated so I don't or so that I wouldn't fantasize and lust... are there couples who have struggled because it is the wife who is addicted to sex and not the husband... Diane
|
guitarist63
Member
| Joined: | Mon Feb 12th, 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 973 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Tue Mar 20th, 2007 11:43 pm |
|
How are you, Diane? I'm still praying for you. Stephen.
|
Diane
Member
| Joined: | Tue Feb 20th, 2007 |
| Location: | Maine USA |
| Posts: | 41 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Wed Mar 21st, 2007 12:08 pm |
|
Hi Steve, thanks for the prayers... my biggest regret right now is not getting through my first 30 days yet... I'm disappointed in that... as my counselor has told me it has come down to choices... every day, every moment...
It's ironic... yesterday I had the opportunity to share my testimony and God's grace in my life to about 30 young adults ranging from 17 to 24... street wise disadvantaged kids enrolled in a government vocational program... the whole theme of the 3 day presentation to these kids was all about "choices"... at first it was almost intimidating speaking with these kids... but when you are simply real with them, and love them... they just opened up their hearts, with tears and alot of pain... they come from abusive backgrounds... the hardest part was driving away knowing they were still hurting... some have already emailed me... please pray for there lives... alot of them simply need some counseling... and alot of love...
My heart is kind of somber today... thank you for the prayers...
|
guitarist63
Member
| Joined: | Mon Feb 12th, 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 973 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Wed Mar 21st, 2007 08:31 pm |
|
Hi Diane. Great news. Praying that God will bless you and minister His love and His peace to you. Praise God that you have been sharing your testimony to thirty young adults. It's good to hear you've had e-mail feedback and pray God gives you the strength and grace to minister to these young people. God is with you - always. Stephen
Last edited on Mon Apr 16th, 2007 10:24 pm by guitarist63
|
Journey
Member
| Joined: | Mon Jul 16th, 2007 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 78 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Mon Aug 6th, 2007 09:05 pm |
|
Hi, Diane, I'm posting here as I said I would in response to your question: Are there couples who have struggled because it is the wife who is addicted and not the husband?
I have already shared in some other posts, but I wanted to write in this thread as well, because I spent decades living with the shame of struggling with M as the wife in the relationship, and my husband having no sexual addictions. I sometimes thought perhaps I was more like a man and not so much like a woman. But I felt very much like a woman in alot of other ways. But it seemed my husband never had as much sexual desire as I. I thought I must be very wierd.
My father was not the type who delighted in us his daughters. It was considered vain to "feel beautiful", and we were greatly discouraged from dressing in a way that accented our femininity, that would be considered seductive and sinful by my dad. I do not remember any physical love shown to me initiated by my father in my growing up years. But my dad was the one who introduced to me a relationship with Jesus when I was very young, and I am thankful for that.
Around puberty I experienced some betrayal in relationships, both from my dad and from friends. Not sexual abuse, but very traumatic emotionally. I vowed to never trust again, never let anyone see my desire to be beautiful or to experience romance. I believed that I was fat and ugly and no one would ever love me. That's when the fantasy and M started for me. I thought I invented it.
At age 18 I was touched inappropriately on the street in broad daylight by a stranger who was following me. Only lasted a few seconds and I thought it shouldn't affect me because it logically was so trivial but it has. It increased my shame.
When I married at age 23, I thought my struggles were over--not so. Sex with my husband was never as good as sex with myself, or fantasy during sex with my H. But I felt so ashamed that I would go for months w/o M, thinking I was "better", only to fall again when stressful times came along. During this time we spent 10 years in full-time Christian ministry. This deepened my shame as I thought as a Christian I should have victory over sin.
Only in the 19th year of our marriage (last year) did I begin to realize that I had closed off a place inside me, and whenever my husband and I made love, I never let him into that place. I wasn't even letting God into that place! But God decided He was "going for the kill"  meaning that He wanted to fill the hole in my heart, but first He had to expose what I had been filling my heart with. It has been an extremely painful process that included an emotional affair (on my part) with a friend's husband and deep humility on my part, admitting that I am was committing adultery in my mind and unable to stop on my own. Lots of painfully honest discussions with my H about my addiction. Hours of counseling. I am encouraged that we have recently had a couple of interactions where it feels like I am beginning to open up my heart to him, but so far they seem few and far between. My husband has his own struggles, one being that he is not very expressive of his love.
I still face alot of temptation but am learning to run to God. Praise God for taking away the shame and pursuing my heart. It's so amazing that God wants my heart, my love, all of me!
Journey
|
Current time is 06:29 am | |
|
|
|
RSS