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Iron Worker
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Posted: Wed Oct 4th, 2006 05:15 am |
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| Been saved for a long time. Never married. I think I have some anger at God..... Lately there have been more women in my life than ever before. Good christian women. But I've looked at more porn these past few months that almost any time before. I sleep alone. I have no STDs. Don't sleep around becuase I no for sure how big of a sin it is. However I have tried but the Holy Spirit would i believe block me. Any how the Masturbation is really bad. I payed a one time fee for some porn but canceled it a day later. Not being charged but I can still login. Any how I need big time accountability I hate that sin. Its gotta to stop.Itys difficult to destinguish between Gods power and my own will power. God says he'll strengthin the inner man But I'm the one that has to control my eyes and hands. How we apply the Power of the Holy Spirit difficult. I have attended Celebrate Recovery in past. It was great. I read about these married dude that still do it? Hard to understand. I once had a Pastor say "The problem with Marriage is that it doesn't solve any problems"
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Steve
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Posted: Thu Oct 5th, 2006 03:15 am |
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Your story is very common. I'm sorry! 
So what are you going to do about this? I will be praying for you!
-Steve
____________________
"Isolation is bad for any man, but for the sexual addict it is fatal." -Russell Willingham
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Iron Worker
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Posted: Thu Oct 5th, 2006 06:09 am |
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| Pray like everting depends on God and Live like everything depends on me but believe with faith that God is powering me to stop. Even though I feel like its me and my will power stopping me. I'm pissed at these married men that still stroke it when they have a wife next to them in bed. I feel compassion for those wives.
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Billyeah
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Posted: Tue Oct 10th, 2006 03:34 pm |
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| Imagine this. I don't mean YOU, I am just wording it this way. Your into porn as a teen. You've got a huge stash and it's a big part of your life. You get used to it. It even becomes normal. You get a girlfriend and try to stay celibate. You throw away your porn to be true to her. Suddenly though the pull towards it is stronger than it ever was. You console yourself with the fact that you will soon be married and having tons of sex so you can withstand. You get married. Awesome honeymoon. Somethings wrong though....she doesn't like to wear lingerie.... She doesn't want it every day.....shoot she doesn't even want to talk about it.....You think to yourself, This sucks! Suddenly the draw back to porn is stronger than ever. Even though it is what got you in this situation in the first place. Had you never looked at porn in the first place you wouldn't have a misguided view on women and sex. There is the married mans point of view, mine at least. Imagine that!
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LAW
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Posted: Fri Oct 13th, 2006 04:54 pm |
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| Billy is that the way it is? If so I believe you.But dang they say when a Couple is courting the most important thing is talking. I want to talk that stuff over ,talk about everything. Life's tough. What does your wife think of your battle ?
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Billyeah
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Posted: Fri Oct 13th, 2006 05:09 pm |
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That is the way it was. Sometimes though, if I really would let myself into it, I could feel the same way again. Porn has so distorted what I thought sex was about, that there is a lot to overcome. I know God hates homosexuality, then why do two women seem so attractive? Stupid things like that and many more have totally distorted what I thought sex was about. Porn is based totally on self gratification. A Billion Dollar industry based totally on masturbation. How sad is that?! God wants sex to be as much spiritual as physical. About the giving to your partner, not about yourself, but the world in it's wickedness has totally destroyed that image.
My wife has struggled to understand my thought processes. When we were dating she didn't have a big problem with it because it was what every guy did. After we got married, the stash was gone but, the draw lingered. She is supportive and understands when I don't want to go somewhere or watch something that I think has sexually provocative scenes. I think she appreciates the steps I try to take to remain pure for her. We definately are closer than we ever have been.
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LAW
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Posted: Fri Oct 13th, 2006 05:31 pm |
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| hey man thanks for responding so quickly. God is bring more Lady's into my life then ever before. I'm doing the best ever its just that one thing I can't seem to shake.I attend a great church that has a large singles group.(Great Christians) Please remember in your prayers. It is so hard to stop. Want to be a married man really badly.But I've been to hundreds of Marriage seminars and conference's. that all talk about how hard marriage is.97% of women I meet our divorced with kids. One lady I'm meeting at a Christian crusade tomorrow night has never married. I might be dating three different Christian women this weekend.Pray that I can represent our Lord and saviour to them.I always have in the past.Its just I take nothing for granted. Hey have a great day!
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Billyeah
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Posted: Fri Oct 13th, 2006 08:38 pm |
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I remember everyone telling me before I got married, "Oh it's so hard, do you know what your getting into?" I was 19 at the time so people really looked at us with concern. But honestly, it has been everything I thought it would be (almost). Other than my struggle with lust, which has been hard, the marraige has been awesome. I have been married now for 2 1/2 years, and one thing that has become very apparent to me, is if you truely try to live like Christ, you won't have many problems. I love my wife, not because she loves me, but because that is what God expects from me. It is a matter of obediance. God wants me to love her, so I love her. I don't mean I am forced to love someone that I don't, I mean I show her through my actions that I love her. Do chores around the house, buy flowers, take her out for dinner. Show her my love, regardless if she has done it back. That is unconditional love and it is what God expects. It is what he gives to us. God loves us even though we are pathetic, rebelious, disobediant, scum. He still loves us! That is unconditional love and if you practice it, you will have no problem you can't overcome.
That's why I don't totally understand the divorce thing. God hates it, that's true. We are children of God who want to do his will. His will is that we love our spouses unconditionally. Doesn't matter if our spouse doesn't do their part, that doesn't change our responsability to God. I truely believe if we practiced unconditional love, there would be no divorce in the Christian church. Do I always practice unconditional love? Absolutely not! But I should, and I try. If you have that covered, your marraige can withstand anything.
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stacie73s
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Posted: Thu Nov 2nd, 2006 02:35 pm |
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| I can relate to everything you wrote from my past experience with porn. I came across porn mags when I was a young girl and throughout the years became addicted to looking through the mags as well as internet viewing. It's been a few years now, and I'm free from all that and I wanted to share with others on here how you can be free. First, one must "strongly desire" to quit. Once you have the "desire" to quit, then that's your first step to change. Once the Lord sees your "sincere" desire, he will deliver you from such filth. My deliverance was overnight. Others may have to go through a different renewal process stage, but there's always a renewal process. We reap what we sow, and that goes for what we put into our minds as well. The second step is abundant praying and Bible reading. The Bible reading and praying is the renewal stage and where it begins. Then, whatever holds you down, mags, internet, tv, you must get rid of it, or getaway from it. This will be hard, but the porn will not save our souls. We must rid pride and not be ashamed to pick up the phone and call a brother/sister in Christ for encouragement. We must change for the Lord so he can use us for his kingdom. He is returning soon! In conclusion, one must ask themselves one question which is "do I really want to get away from this porn addiction." If the answer is yes, then you are on your way to freedom and the Lord can and will work with you. We must remember that the devil knows our weaknesses and he will try to keep us down by temptation, but we are "stronger" than that! We must persevere continuously and the Lord will take care of the rest!
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stacie73s
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Posted: Thu Nov 2nd, 2006 02:53 pm |
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You couldn't of said it any better! Marriage is Unconditional Love. If you love your spouse, you will help them through any problem they may be having without judging or badgering them.
And to the spouses who are struggling with porn, remember 1 thing.....you are devastating your spouse by your addictions. Reverse it around. How would it make you feel? Porn addiction is the same things as "cheating" on your spouse and it's a devastating emotion that leaves scars. Think again.
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Billyeah
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Posted: Tue Nov 7th, 2006 04:23 pm |
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I have done that and it is indeed devistating! I thought, what if it was her looking at pictures!? What would I do, how would I feel? It would be awful, I could never compete with those images. I am not the most attractive guy in the world and they are. Oh it would be awful. Makes me sick to think of how I have treated her. How could I? So shallow, and cold. I love the feeling now though. That it disgusts me like it does. Praise God
Praise God for forgiveness. New beginnings and a fresh start. He will help us overcome, if we heed his voice. God give us strength.
God Bless
Bill
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