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jcteacher52
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Posted: Sun Jun 15th, 2008 02:49 pm |
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I am new to this site. I have struggled with M for many many years, even as a Chrsitian since 1993 when I got saved. (except for a 6 month period of purity once)
Now I am pretty much turned over to it and Porno. I have been alone for 3 plus years now, and it has made thigns much worse.
But now I am engaged to a wonderful Christian woman, and I have somuch desire to changemy life in this regards (purity) before I marry her this Fall.
I am not really seekign to much advice, the answer to this is simple but very very hard for me ( and others obviously)
I was clean and pure at one time about 5 years ago and I know how this works.
1. Bounce the eyes from desires. (online, TV, at work, the store, driving, etc)
2. Take every thougth captive (the only way that I can do this is to actually tell the Lord to handl that thought, yes that means I share it with him, and tell Him I cannot handle this, like it is a secret anyway)
3. Practice the presence of God (daily Bible time, constant prayer, etc)
4. Accountablity, I need to tell someone how I am doing daily
5. Seek prayer, I seek prayer all the time (online and from a few that I trust, BY THE WAY PLEASE PRAY FOR ME, MY NAME IS DAVID AND I NEED TO STAY IN PURITY
I really want to fulfill God's purpose for my life and this aint it.
David
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Wilderness Voice
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Posted: Sun Jun 15th, 2008 02:57 pm |
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David:
I encourage you to read My Testimony in this intro section and my posts in Other Topics. Especially lust and the flattery connection.
Also visit http://www.purelifeministries.org. They have tremendous sermons in podcasts or listen on-line with Windows Media Player or RealPlayer. Their books are wonderful too. A good start is "At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry."
The truth shall make you free.
Wilderness Voice
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jcteacher52
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Posted: Sun Jun 15th, 2008 03:11 pm |
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Thanks for the input.I already have lots of books on the subject and am involved in a purity course on this site http://www.restoringsexualpurity.org/guided-study/
I have read the book Every Man's Battle a few times and am aware of much truth, but what I find is that now amount of truth will set you free unless and until you arw willing to obey and abide.
though these books, sermons, and online courses do help me to stay focused on and practice the presence of God.
I am glad to have any input though, and perhaps when I am finished with this course I am in (which requires reading like 4 books) I will look into this other thing. In the meantime I will listen to the sermons, etc....
Just keep praying for me and I will also pray for anyone else.
That is a powerful thing brother
David
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Wilderness Voice
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Posted: Sun Jun 15th, 2008 04:09 pm |
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I agree on the obey and abide.
But you will not do either one unless you accept and believe and embrace the truth, no matter how painful. The truth could be as simple or as complex as what lie it is that one prefers to tell themselves instead of believing God.
People's deeds remain evil when they remain in darkness and coming to the light will make those deeds manifest. This includes the truth of the waywardness of the heart.
Deceit and lies cover those who do not obey the truth, so that the full impact of the truth does not penetrate. If it did, they would be free. It takes a lie in the mind to disobey God and an acceptance of lies to not abide. God will even send delusion to those who prefer the pleasure of being unrighteous over the love of the truth.
Obedience and abiding are within God Himself and in Him is the truth. This includes the truth about yourself.
Until I faced all the truth about myself, I did not become free. God freed me seven years ago after 35 or so years in bondage. It did come about because of the truth. But even as Jesus said: "If you continue in my Word; then are ye my disciples indeed; and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." It does require obedience (continuing in) to the Word. If one does not obey it, then of course they don't believe it either. This was the reason Paul gave the examples in Corinthians and Hebrews about the connection of continuing in sin and unbelief.
WV
I have never read Every Man's Battle and read the book I recommended "At the Altar . . ." several years after I'd already been set on the right path. What happened to me (and my wife) was apart from any church, group, books, or lessons. God just reached into our lives and began working. That's the best way I could put it. However, we began reaching out to see if others had found their way out and discovered Pure Life Ministries. We have found their teachings to be very good and the conversion of many, many who have gone through their program to be lasting and genuine.
I and my wife do pray for the people on this board and I do write what God gives me to write even if it is unpopular. I am not here to tell of my defeat, but a path to Victory laid out by Christ. He gave me the grace to follow it and the grace to share it.
Last edited on Sun Jun 15th, 2008 04:26 pm by Wilderness Voice
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jcteacher52
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Posted: Mon Jun 16th, 2008 02:52 am |
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WV,
I agree, I think you misunderstand me.. Of course we must face the truth about ourselves, I have known what a miserable sinner I am for some time now, and as I love Psalm 139 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
24 And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting
I have asked God to show me the truth of my heart and it is pretty disgusting. but what I mean is that the truth alone will not set you free, not unless you act on it and abid in Him. I knew I was a sinner in need of a savoir for most of my life, but it was not until I was 37 years old that I finally did something about that truth,
same with the lust M and P etc.....
Now I need to truly repent....
keep on posting brother
David
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sam
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Posted: Mon Jun 16th, 2008 02:55 am |
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hello david,
may god bless you greatly in your journey to live a pure life. i will def be in prayer for you. if you could keep me in yours as well, i would greatly appreciate it.
sam
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jcteacher52
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Posted: Mon Jun 16th, 2008 04:03 am |
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Sam,
Lets give it all to the Lord and He will give us our purity.
I am parying for you tonight brother.
David
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sam
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Posted: Mon Jun 16th, 2008 01:35 pm |
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thanks ever so much for your prayers friend, but ummm, i am a girl. lol! it's ok tho, god knows who i am and he hears your prayer. thanks again. have a fantastic week.
praying for you,
sam
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jcteacher52
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Posted: Tue Jun 17th, 2008 02:56 am |
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Sam,
sorry then sis. still praying for you and thanks
David
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Man
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Posted: Thu Jun 19th, 2008 11:58 am |
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Wilderness Voice, I really get irritated on your attitude in here. For me it seems that you think that you have understood everything and that you are really high up and you are in the position to teach and explain everybody in here.
Your mission is to explain us "HOW IT IS". We are nothing, you are very high up. You have come very far..
It could be that you have come far, but in my opinion, those who have come far are those who serve, give and build up, not those who want to tell everybody how far they have come..
You are giving out rebukes and are talking about yourself how far you have come. I would guess that someone who seek freedom in here might want to be seen, be honest, want to come into dialogue, make friendship, maybe they are longing for someone to see them, building relations.. Relations might be a good weapon against loneliness which can be good weapon against acting out?
It seems for me that you don't meet those needs to people. You are only talking about yourself and how extremely far you have come. It seems for me that you don't have love for people. You want people to bow for you so that you can be the star, the one on the top of the system..
It seems you don't care for people at all. You don't see people. You don't meet them where they are, building people up. You want to be the star in here. The one that has come extremely far, the best, the one highest up..
Those were my thoughts Wilderness Voice. Now you get a chance to tell what you want. What do you want to achieve in here? It could be that I am wrong. Maybe I can learn something.. and develop..
Thanks
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jcteacher52
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Posted: Fri Jun 20th, 2008 12:51 am |
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it seems that I am still a pretty miserable sinner. I fell pretty bad last night. the ugly truth here is that when I want to sin,,,,i sin....I enjoy it and then I feel bad. I have never stopped loving the Lord, but I obviously do not love him enough to stop this sinning.
I am often confused. Am I a sinner saved by grace?
or am I a double minded man?
or maybe both....
The truth is I am aweful and God is good.
Keep praying for me as I keep on askign the Lord to forgive and to help me change.
David
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jcteacher52
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Posted: Fri Jun 20th, 2008 01:05 am |
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Wilerness Voice (OK what is your name really?)
Jesus did say "if you continue in my word than you are my disciples"
but he did not say you are not saved, there is a difference between the word disciple and saved. I think anyway. Also what does the word continue mean. I have read the Bible 10 times from cover to cover and I still sin on occasion. so what are you saying here. Am I continuing in the word only when I am sinless. Then why does it say in John that "if we say that we have not sinned, we lie"
I am tryign to understand what great truth you have discovered here that I am not aware of. I know the truth of my horrible and dark heart,, the truth of Gods greatness and His immense grace and His love for me...
Please show me the truth...
David
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Wilderness Voice
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Posted: Fri Jun 20th, 2008 04:16 am |
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David:
I can speak the truth. I can demonstrate the truth. But I cannot open anyone's eyes to it. Only the Holy Spirit can cause the blind to see. All that I can say is that the blindness I had to things in my heart, caused them to stay. I thought I knew my wickedness, but I didn't. God had to reveal to me what pride and vanity stood and encouraged my love of lust and my continual departures from Him. It was not intellectual in the way of learning by a book (even though one could say that certain books might stimulate the thought). God showed me what was in my heart - through His Eyes - not mine.
I guess that is the difference. If we are sincere with God, He will grant us our requests. I wasn't sincere for many years and didn't really realize that I wasn't until I became sincere. And sincere probably isn't the best word; it was that but more. Being made humble enough, contrite enough to accept the cure needed. But even all of that is a gift from God, but one does have to get to the place of being willing to receive it.
It is discouraging to write here sometimes. I had a dream not to long ago about God's children. My wife and I were assigned to take care of a group of toddlers. They were in diapers and yet they could talk. Their spirits were precious to us and to God and it was our job to help take care of them. The problem was that they were very, very ill. They had been fed, but the food they had been given had weakened them and they were malnourished to a severe degree. But they were so used to their state that they did not recognize the dire and terrible condition they were in. They also had horrible sores and wounds on their backsides and legs which had gone untreated. We had to clean and dress their wounds and it was so sad that their former caretakers had let them get like this. Whenever we cleaned their sores out the screamed at us. "You don't know what you're doing!" "You're hurting us, you caused this to happen and you're making it worse." The truth was that we had nothing to do with having let the sores become so terrible. Their rebellion against the will of God had caused them to be in a state of restraint and they weren't able to get the correct exercise. Whenever we went to feed them the proper food they needed, they yelled: "This is not what we eat!""You are giving us the wrong food!" "We only eat sweets!""We don't eat food like that!""You are supposed to give us candy!""You don't know what you're doing!" It was so awful because God loved them dearly and we had a great love for them too. But they had no idea how bad of a state they were in. Nevertheless, little by little they accepted the treatments, but it was frustratingly slow. Not because it was a burden, but because they were so ill and needed so much more care than they would allow anyone to give them. We just kept praying and asking God how to help them.
When I woke up and told my wife of the dream, I immediately thought of this board. It is very frustrating to be in a different place than you once were and try to help others find that door, or set of stairs, and have them continually tell you: "Give us candy!" "We only eat sweets!" "You don't know what you're doing!" When the truth is that they are desparately sick and in need of emergency and long-term care. They may even sense this, but they are so frightened and the neglect of the caretakers was that of someone utterly incapable of properly caring for them.
If everyone sees that as megalomania, building up of self, and whatever else will cause them not to actually hear what is being said - then so be it. These things I've written and the truth of that dream would be so whether or not I ever existed or had said anything ever at all. It's like the question of the tree falling in the woods - if no one is there to hear it - does it make a sound? The truthful answer is: yes. The world's answer: is no - it's all perception. Reality is only perception. But God does hear, and God does see, and God does know everything. Even my heart as well as everyone else's that comes here. And He does see the condition of each one as it really is whether I happen to comment on it or not.
Wilderness Voice
Luke 7: [31] And the Lord said, Whereunto then shall I liken the men of this generation? and to what are they like?
[32] They are like unto children sitting in the marketplace, and calling one to another, and saying, We have piped unto you, and ye have not danced; we have mourned to you, and ye have not wept.
[33] For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine; and ye say, He hath a devil.
[34] The Son of man is come eating and drinking; and ye say, Behold a gluttonous man, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners!
Last edited on Fri Jun 20th, 2008 10:23 am by Wilderness Voice
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guitarist63
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Posted: Sat Jun 21st, 2008 12:11 am |
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Last edited on Mon Jun 23rd, 2008 05:38 pm by guitarist63
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Man
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Posted: Sat Jun 21st, 2008 02:15 am |
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What do you mean with this guitarist? Is it practical in here?
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Man
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Posted: Sun Jun 22nd, 2008 02:37 am |
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Hi Wilderness, are you happy? How is it to feel that you have come so far? What kind of results do you have in your life?
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Wilderness Voice
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Posted: Mon Jun 23rd, 2008 06:11 am |
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I am happy that after twenty-four years of hiding things from my wife, that for the last seven years nothing is hidden from her. It feels so wonderful to allow her to walk in my mind and heart, not fearful what she might discover. Happy that she would find I love her deeply, eternally by what God has placed inside. There are no shadows to which my wife is not welcome.
It is the same in my walk with God. I am not perfect or sinless, but sin does not have dominion over me. I read recently something Sam wrote about doubting God’s love and I remember when I wasn’t really sure if I was going to heaven or not. Let’s say I felt much closer to Hell. Sometimes I felt the downward pull of Hell’s magnet so strong, I wasn’t sure just what depths I would sink to if I let go, or what was inside of me that could become such a heinous monster. It is almost impossible to feel much from God when, as I, you sin and sin and sin and sin. It’s not just that one is unworthy - you get to the point where there is no evidence of the working of God’s grace – no power at all over sin. I do not feel that hopelessness any more. I do not feel this gnawing, gaping hole of fire inside of me. My eyes do not travel against my will to sin and sin in my outward and inward vision.
I have more thoughts of other people. More compassion, more time in prayer for others. I do not anger as easily as I used to. I am not anywhere near as fearful or worrisome. All these things have changed by light-years of degrees from what was there before. I can see God’s handiwork in my own soul and I am amazed. I never try to get others to enjoy something wrong. I used to always share my sins with others and party and revel in so many ungodly things.
But I am not completely happy. I am actually full of sorrows a lot of the time. It is hard to see what is happening to God’s people and the people of earth in general. It is like when Jesus went to Lazarus’ tomb. Most will tell you that he wept because of his sorrow over Lazarus’ death. But I think Jesus knew that Lazarus was going to come forth from that tomb in just a few minutes. He knew that everyone there would be relieved to have their brother and friend back again. The sorrow of the moment in their hearts would quickly disappear. I think Jesus wept because of the unbelief around him. Even though he was the Son of God, Martha tried to tell him that it was hopeless, Lazurus was dead four days. Mary was weeping and crying. Everyone was saying: Lord, if only you had been here. Even though Jesus had been with them all this time, they still did not understand, believe, or know who he really was. They did not comprehend that Life itself was in the words of their master. The Word is the source of Life and they did not know it. Jesus wanted for them so badly to understand what absolute trust they could place in him and they didn’t get it. It made him very sad to be right there in their midst and have their love but not their trust.
God’s people are so filled with sin and so lacking in Faith. No, I am not happy in all respects. I am very sad that the Victory that Christ won for us is not established in his people. I cannot be fully happy until God comes and establishes His Kingdom within and without in reality. Even Jesus said, before He comes again, there would be a great falling away. He asked: “When the Son of Man cometh, will He find faith on the earth?” How sad for Jesus, that he will be facing such a lacking of faith when he returns. It would be so wonderful to look out across the Christian landscape and see evidence of the substance of Faith demonstrated in soul after soul. Not some outward manifestation of healings or gifts – but the evidence of a faithful heart – a heart of fidelity. That would be a wonderful gift to return to God – our fidelity.
Wilderness Voice
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Man
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Posted: Mon Jun 23rd, 2008 07:24 pm |
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| Wilderness Voice, I wonder what you want to achieve in here. What is your purpose and goal..?
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love&hate
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Posted: Fri Jun 27th, 2008 07:16 pm |
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I have wondered the same WV on your take on fidelity. Yes lust is a very obvious form of spiritual adultery however so many of our churchs are lukewarm and as you mentioned there is not much talk on repentance. Anything that is more important than God is infidelity whether it be your new house in the suburbs, boat, cabin at the lake, career etc... It seems in North America that non Christians don't need God, why would they when they have whatever they want in a society of excess? And Christians are so busy enamored with the things that money can buy us and the busyness of our daily routine. Well i am certainly guilty of this. As soon as i have had some stretches of sobriety (1-2 weeks) i became to be aware of this.
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Wilderness Voice
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Posted: Thu Jul 3rd, 2008 03:04 pm |
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Man:
My hope is that as many souls as possible, when coming to that point where eternity sets in, will no longer be filthy. That they will have found the path to righteousness and holiness and will no longer remain filthy. Filthy souls will not be allowed into Heaven.
I do not have any idea whether or not I'll see or know of any progress or help that my words have brought to the souls on this board. But that doesn't matter. If something said now, later clicks with them. If there is some stair step or ladder rung they find and pull themselves up by it. If they later are triggered by something. This is all wonderful. I do not need to know it or see it. It doesn't matter if I ever did.
I'll only remain on here as long as God wants me too. I have many other things to do. Many other things which have my attention. Many times, in myself, I do not want to return here. But my feelings really don't matter. Only that Christ has been lifted up and that people were drawn to Him and brought into real safety. My hope is to see many souls in Heaven rejoicing that they were rescued by Christ even in the midst of their confused bondage. That His salvation was the powerful hope they looked for and found at last - that they were saved to the uttermost and that the awful whirlpool of Hell's magnetic sin lost its grip on them and they soared out of the clutches of evil.
WV
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