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rom517mm Member
| Joined: | Fri Feb 1st, 2008 |
| Location: | Texas USA |
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Posted: Fri Feb 15th, 2008 03:41 pm |
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I remember when I was in a 12-step group for sex addicts whose definition of sexual sobriety was quite firm and, I believe, biblical (no lingering looks, no fantasizing, no masturbation, no sex outside of marriage, etc). But I would try to push the envelope with my lusting. I would tell myself I could masturbate until just before climax, or I'd try to make myself climax without touching myself, or I'd think of sexual images (but I'd tell myself that I was doing it with love for the woman ). It was obvious that I didn't want to truly be free from lust.
Even now, while I'm not doing those things, I do find that when I touch myself, I wonder whether I'm doing so because of a true discomfort or to clean myself when I'm showering, or because it's what I've always done and it's become ingrained into me. Just like I think I "have to" look at a woman's body because it's what I've always done (though by God's grace I'm not taking extended looks or dwelling on it afterwards), I also think I "have to" touch myself. I don't keep keep my hand down there, but throughout the day I'll feel "compelled" to adjust or scratch, etc. And my mind is always reminding me that I have genitalia and that they are sexual and it feels good to be sexual, etc.
However, I do know that I have been able to forego lusting and masturbation for almost a month now--so I don't have to give in, and by not giving in it won't kill me. So it seems to follow that if I don't touch myself unless I absolutely have to and I keep my eyes looking elsewhere when a tempting woman walks by, I also will survive. And not only do I need to take my mind off of what I've left behind, but I need to put my mind on Christ.
Any input would be appreciated. I'm still young in my new walk to purity, so I would appreciate hearing from somebody who has been walking the road longer that me.
____________________ "Since by the one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive the overflow of grace and the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ." (Rom. 5:17)
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guitarist63 Member
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Posted: Fri Feb 15th, 2008 09:18 pm |
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I think you're doing great Rom517mm and being strict with yourself is good, so long as your heart is devoted to the Lord. I am reminded again of Colossians 2, verse 20-23 that speaks of doing things as a religious ritual. Although not specifically addressing sexual matters - the verses follow a chapter that warns against being bound by ritualistic practices of washing, of eating, or circumcision of the flesh - they are relevant if we are imposing rules on ourselves without surrendering the heart. So it's good to make sure our focus is on God. It's possible to be free from sexual immorality but not have joy in the Lord if we're doing it legalistically.
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rom517mm Member
| Joined: | Fri Feb 1st, 2008 |
| Location: | Texas USA |
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Posted: Fri Feb 15th, 2008 10:03 pm |
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I have tried the ritualism route, and it has failed me miserably. As I've trusted in God to strengthen me, He has continued to do so 
____________________ "Since by the one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive the overflow of grace and the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ." (Rom. 5:17)
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refiningfire Member
| Joined: | Sun Feb 24th, 2008 |
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Posted: Tue Feb 26th, 2008 10:56 pm |
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I think you are on the right path. I followed the same way of getting free with God's help.
Last edited on Tue Feb 26th, 2008 10:57 pm by refiningfire
____________________ 2 Chronicles 7:14 if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
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