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IceBullit
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Posted: Wed Dec 21st, 2005 08:00 pm |
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You sound as if your comming from the perspective of someone who masturbates through lust and not through doing without lust. Also, you seem to be comming from the perspective that I am addicted to sexual desires.
I did feel empty and shamful when I was doing it through fantasy, but when doing it with out lust, there is nothing to feel bad about (for me at least). I am not doing it to fullfill a desire that comes from a fantasy world but rather just a physical one, this is where we seem to agree to disagree.
"3. Are you aware that masturbation has the effect of causing you to finish
quicker, so that sex with your wife will be a short story - leaving her holding the bag?"
I would like to see where you got this. To me it seems like masturbating would lead to you having longer duration because you are more used to the sensation and realize how you body does react to it.
Also realize that I am no longer addicted to sexual desire. With help I have been able to no longer be obsessed with it, of course it enters my mind, but I dont find myself thinking about it all the time like I did before.
I agree that life is more than just "getting off" I am not saying that it is all about that. In fact it is only a small portion of my life. It USED to be that way, but now that I have addopted the method of masturbation with out lust, it just comes from the physical aspect. To me there is nothing wrong with this because I am not clearly condriticting the bible. I know that this topic will always be one that is heated and people will always have different views of, this is just where I am comming from.
Also.. you did not respond to my question concerning mutual masterbation with your wife, I am still courious as to what you think about that.
Last edited on Thu Dec 22nd, 2005 06:22 am by IceBullit
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RTK
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Posted: Thu Dec 22nd, 2005 01:17 am |
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masterbation with your wife
1 Chronicles 3:8 "Thou shalt not masterbate with the wife of your youth lest ye be condemned." Not.
I talked with my wife about this. She is een reading this. What's the point? If you're going to do things, might as well go all the way! Otherwise, it's like cake without icing...icing without the cake?!I'll take the cake, icing, and ice cream! Yeah, baby, let's rejoice in what the Lord has made...and given for us to share with each other...mutual mb is not being one flesh with one's spouse.
RTK
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IceBullit
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Posted: Thu Dec 22nd, 2005 06:18 am |
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The point of that would be to learn what each other likes about their body. I am not saying this be a replacment for sex but rather a form of foreplay. It would allow the other person to see what they like about their bodies and use that as an advantage for intercourse. Of course afterwords we would go all the way, it would be just something fun to do before hand.
Last edited on Thu Dec 22nd, 2005 06:20 am by IceBullit
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Praise6
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Posted: Thu Dec 22nd, 2005 08:51 am |
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"I am not doing it to fullfill a desire that comes from a fantasy world but rather just a physical one, this is where we seem to agree to disagree."
If you are married, then your wife would satisfy the physical one. The fact that you are not married and 22 may be the reason you seem to be unable to fathom a life without masturbation.
"Also.. you did not respond to my question concerning mutual masterbation with your wife, I am still courious as to what you think about that."
As a part of love making together, there is a place for it. Solo masturbation is purely selfish sex. It is dangerous to a relationship.
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captivated
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Posted: Thu Dec 22nd, 2005 10:15 am |
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IceBullit,
I do admire your desire to seek Him in continuing to share here....He does want the best for you and your future spouse. I'm going to attempt to share a bit as a wife and woman who's marriage has been greatly affected by porn and masturbation. Before I share, let me state that masturbation does have a higher level of arousal, from what the experts share, because it does take work and communication (and provides intimacy) for a spouse to "get things right" or satisfy.
When I think of masturbating, I'm reminded that even to this day.....after over 15 yrs of marriage, my husband has "given himself" to pictures, stories and fantasy more than he's given of himself to me, his wife. Due to this, his desire for intimacy with a person is decreased and can be fearful to him because women have variables and take work to know while self-sex is what you expect it to be. This has been very painful as it feels he's given all he's got to another love.
While for you, this may not be the case.....and I know you said your girlfriend is very beautiful, but in marriage you may have an argument......you may wake up to find her unattractive because of a disagreement or taking one another for granted......the sexual urges will still be there, but you will not want her and will seek to fulfill them with masturbation anyway. Later, she may want you and you may have nothing left to give. You think this won't happen to you right now, but it could......and it feels bad and affects your marriage negatively even more.
At core, I believe women want to believe their husbands desire them above all......we want to be pursued with passion.....and we want our husbands to want to know us deeply. My experience is that masturbation robs a marriage of the intimacy and closeness God's intended marriage to represent between Christ and the Church.
When in doubt over all we've said, ask Him to show you......be quiet/still and pray and meditate on the scriptures shared here as well as others......expect that the God of the universe who died for you so you could have hope.....and made your body and gave you your sex drive, also cares enough to answer your questions out of a sincere, child-like heart.
Blessings to you as you pursue Him! 
captivated
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mike
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Posted: Thu Dec 22nd, 2005 01:19 pm |
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>You sound as if your comming from the perspective of someone who masturbates through lust and not through doing without lust.
>I am not doing it to fullfill a desire that comes from a fantasy world but rather just a physical one, this is where we seem to agree to disagree.
The verses about mastering our body and making it our slaves, and what Paul said about "getting married to deal with burning" dealt with the subject from a physical viewpoint. Again, marriage was the only method that God gave through Paul to deal with the physical burning, as he called it.
>I would like to see where you got this. To me it seems like masturbating would lead to you having longer duration because you are more used to the sensation and realize how you body does react to it.
From experience, and what other men and women have said. The reality is that masturbation is about getting to the point, so the man trains himself to finish quicker. Sex in marriage is about the other person, while masturbation is about the self. Masturbation is about a 10 yard dash, while sex is a 2 mile jog with another person. The guy who's trained himself to go 10 yards won't make it long...
>Also realize that I am no longer addicted to sexual desire.
then, masturbation shouldn't be a necessity.
>Also.. you did not respond to my question concerning mutual masterbation with your wife, I am still courious as to what you think about that.
I don't see a problem with it when the wife is involved.
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IceBullit
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Posted: Thu Dec 22nd, 2005 06:44 pm |
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To be honest when switching to the method of just the physical method, I find myself rarley masturbationg at all. The only time I find myself doing it (any more) is when my urge is really strong and it effects my ability to think or function normally (its just so built up). So in reality I dont do it very much at all anymore, I just do it to release in times where it is really built up.
-Arthur
Last edited on Thu Dec 22nd, 2005 06:55 pm by IceBullit
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Seeking_Christ
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Posted: Fri Jan 27th, 2006 06:53 am |
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Sounds like me.
I don't do it nearly as much as I once did. Only in times of tremendous pressure.
That's what's turning my hair white, wondering if it's a sin to masturbate when you have so much built-up "energy"? that you feel like you're going to explode or something.
I mean, you can't think, you can't sleep, you can barely function. And then as soon as you've let off some steam, you feel like a million bucks.
And I cannot successfully accomplish anything without some visualization in my mind. It just doesn't work. I try and create totally fictional women in my mind to get around the adultery (lusting after a woman) sin. Some times I do this without guilt and am pretty sure about myself, and at other times I feel really depressed and low.
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eskimo88
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Posted: Sun Feb 11th, 2007 09:05 am |
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| Lust is something that will never be satisfied. Even after you give it something, it always wants more. It's like a monster that keeps on growing, even if you only feed it a little. Lust is something that has to die, because in and of itself, it can only produce destruction. Masturbation is usually only for one's own benefit, right? It's not to benefit anyone else, so it's almost selfish if you look at it from that point of view. Lust, as defined by dictionary.com, is uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite. If one masturbates because of an uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire, it's probably due to lust. I read in the every man's series by Stoeker (good books) that lust won;t be satisfied even after marriage. Sex in marriage is all about servanthood, and serving your husband or wife and putting their desires above your own, it's not about fulfilling your own desires. I'm not perfect, and I still fall into sin and masturbation at times, these are just some thoughts I was having.
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eskimo88
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Posted: Sun Feb 11th, 2007 09:10 am |
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| I also was thinking about how one should live after God, and how one's lifestyle should be if one claims to serve God. Many times, the majority, myself included at times, asks the wrong question. We always ask," How close to the line of God's sexual purity can I get without crossing over?" or, "How much can I do to please myself before it becomes sin?" Since God is so grand, and since who he is is so amazing, it pushes me to want to ask a different question. The question we all miss most of the time as Christians is this: "How close can I get to being like Jesus was? What can I do to become more like him in my daily walk?" Just some more thoughts.
____________________
It is for freedom's sake that we've been set free. Provision is there; we just have to walk in the freedom that Jesus Christ already provided 2000 years ago
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guitarist63
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Posted: Thu Mar 15th, 2007 11:43 pm |
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Regarding the topic of this thread, enough has been said in Mike Genung's article on this website. See http://www.blazinggrace.org/masturbation.htm. Stephen
Last edited on Mon Apr 16th, 2007 09:44 pm by guitarist63
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guitarist63
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Posted: Sat Mar 31st, 2007 10:05 pm |
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RTK. Re. your old post of 22 December 2005, concerning 1 Chronicles, 3, verse 8 in my bible says:
"Elishama, Eliada, and Eliphelet, nine."
Was your reference a misprint?
Hope you can provide the answer.
Stephen
Last edited on Mon Apr 16th, 2007 09:47 pm by guitarist63
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openWound
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Posted: Sat Apr 7th, 2007 04:49 pm |
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Well I see this thread is quite old and the last entry wasn’t so recent but I haven’t been to this site in a while as I was having success at overcoming my problem. That was until yesterday at 2 in the morning.
I can only speak from experience but I would say that masturbation would start with lusting but I don’t really think that’s what would keep it going.
I’ve started to try and look at my addiction rationally, and that’s what it is, an addiction. Like any other sexual or drug addiction, they all start and end in the same places.
With any addiction they all start with enjoying the experience, no matter how regrettable or wrong it is. I suppose it’s at this stage that lusting plays a role. I know when I started I, guiltily, enjoyed it and, although I hated porn, it became a medium for a while.
But then after a while the ‘lusting’ went away and that’s when the addiction really kicks in. Like with any drug it gets to the point where you don’t want it but ‘need’ it in you daily life. I feel, personally that I’ve been in that place for a while.
I managed to go ‘cold turkey’ for a while but then I ended up a stage one all over again: yesterday, when I searched for porn, and the process started all over again.
I’m going to stray off the topic here a bit but bear with me:
My own addiction, I can accept. It affects me and my side of relationships with people, it shouldn’t affect anyone else. But I’ve abstained from porn for years now as it makes me sick that people would subject themselves to that knowing how it affects so many people. When I see it I can’t help thinking of what it was that possessed these girls to do it. Was it for the fun of it, a quick buck, or to show off? Unfortunately the reason is sometimes something a lot worse: sexual slavery. Porn is something that affects millions of people from the viewers to the women I’ve come to pity. And that’s why I can’t go back to that stage of my life, not again.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I think masturbation without lusting is what classifies you as addicted and, I feel, is the punishment for not stopping earlier or not starting in the first place.
I don’t know if I’m the only one who feels this way but that’s the place I’m at right now.
Last edited on Sat Apr 7th, 2007 04:51 pm by openWound
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Brian Angels
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Posted: Wed Apr 25th, 2007 05:10 am |
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I may come off sounding hypocritical but when it comes to masturbation, I feel it's not the maturbation that is a sin but the thoughts of lust and using pornography that is the true sin. Not trying to justify masturbation or pursuade people into self-gratification but masturbation, in my opinion, is a natural response for any male who is not married and needs to release. Naturally, men feel an urge to pro-create and if the man can not pro-create with his wife, then a few things happen in his brain.
Is it so wrong to make yourself feel good physically WITHOUT lusting? I am conflicted on the whole topic. If anyone has scripture showing it is wrong, please share.
I am separated from my wife and have been masturbating (when I felt an intense arousal and attraction to her and also when I needed to feel close to her) to some "risque" pictures we took but not anymore, out of repsect to her. I am no longer looking at pornography (6 weeks) Since we are in the healing process, we agreed on a sexual fast -- we both don't masturbate. I haven't masturbated in about a week and must say it's driving me a bit crazy having this pent up testosterone. 
Fortunately, she is the only one that arouses me. Tonight I gave her a big hug and I instantly turned on. My sex drive is on overdrive but I have no release. See, this is a perfect example of temptation. I read the Bible and it helps but my hormones are raging. Alas, that's why they call it a fast -- builds strength and faith.
Last edited on Wed Apr 25th, 2007 05:13 am by Brian Angels
____________________
Brian
The key to a successful marriage is not finding the right person, it's learning to love the person you found. - Mort Fertel
2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!&q
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truthseeker
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Posted: Wed Apr 25th, 2007 05:54 am |
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Hi Brian,
Being female, please forgive if this is an uninformed question. Don't nocturnal emitions occur and afford some relief?
TruthSeeker
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Brian Angels
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Posted: Wed Apr 25th, 2007 02:48 pm |
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Hi Truthseeker,
Actually, I do not believe I have ever had one, even during puberty before I discovered M.
____________________
Brian
The key to a successful marriage is not finding the right person, it's learning to love the person you found. - Mort Fertel
2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!&q
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gaylon
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Posted: Wed Apr 25th, 2007 11:08 pm |
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truthseeker wrote:
Being female, please forgive if this is an uninformed question. Don't nocturnal emitions occur and afford some relief?
My experience: Maybe once every 2 - 3 months. I had a few in my teen years. Highly sexual dreams occur (at that point - things I'd never seen or imagined otherwise), and you wake up having an orgasm. Maybe physically keeps your prostate from bursting, but otherwise, not much relief... Not an exuse for masturbation, but also no consolation for someone enmeshed in the habit and trying to quit...
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guitarist63
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Posted: Thu Apr 26th, 2007 12:22 am |
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Last edited on Sat Jun 23rd, 2007 08:37 pm by guitarist63
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geeky_student
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Posted: Thu Apr 26th, 2007 03:27 am |
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found a nice article on this masturbation topic, I don't think God approves of masturbation.
http://net-burst.net/sexuality/masturbation.htm
also read part two, it actually talks bout "non-sexual masturbation"
God bless! He is the final authority!
Listen to the Holy Spirit!
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For God, for her, for my parents, for own good.
tip: when tempted, think of God, think of that special someone you love. 
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gaylon
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Posted: Thu Apr 26th, 2007 04:29 am |
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geeky_student wrote: found a nice article on this masturbation topic, I don't think God approves of masturbation.
http://net-burst.net/sexuality/masturbation.htm
also read part two, it actually talks bout "non-sexual masturbation"
God bless! He is the final authority!
Listen to the Holy Spirit!
Great website - not just m topic, but relationship with God, etc.
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