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CallmeThomas
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Posted: Sun May 13th, 2007 06:14 am |
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Alright let me start by saying that I am a teenager and that I know I've had a problem for a long time. I feel sort of angry and confused that I have had such crap for luck with my problem in masturbation. I became addicted to masturbation before I even new what masturbation was. I dont want to say that that is an excuse because I know it's not. My father is a recovering narcotics addict and he is a good man to say the least. I've learned a lot from him about addiction but Im the only one that knows what's wrong with me. Not quiet shure if this is acceptable to say or not but every time I commit adultery I ask god for his forgiveness.
Anyways I understand that I haft to take the eneshative in getting myself help but I just come to a wall. I get to a point in my mind where I want to ask my parents for help or someone else but I just get a mental block. I'm kind of a perfectionist as I make strait A's in school...so I think that contributes to my problem. Anyways I remember one day waking up and realizing that things like good food, friends, and games (fun in general) werent fun anymore. The only thing that to this day gives me any happiness is occasionaly reading the bible, going to church, and lifting weights in the mornings before school..Even than I only feel happy for about 2 nanoseconds.
I don't know why I sit here in the middle of the night wrighting this.. I found this website on the enternet after looking at porn. I wish to god I could be the most perfect person under him and help others, and do good things, but I am so damn frustrated to a point where I hit things (dont worry inaniment objects).
One more thing to say is that ever since I became a masturbation addict about 5 years ago I have tried my best to quiet. I tried exceptional hard about 3 months ago to a point whered Id cry in prayer. I got to a point where I was fine I was going on and I new that nothing could stop. Now me being a teenager I was cursed with having a wet dream...( again sorry if thats a little much)...after 2 and a half weeks of absistency.
I hear people talk about kids addicted to porn..and weed and things like that but Ive had this problem since before I was born. It seems I started this and was unable to end this because of things that were out of my control. I finish with my hopes that you are all good under god tonight and sweet dreams...Thomas.
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openWound
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Posted: Sun May 13th, 2007 07:05 am |
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Well, after reading your story I feel like we have a lot in common. I was, and still am, a staright A student but can't see why I fail to overcome such a pitiful addiction. I too find that I don't enjoy simple social interactions with my friends as much as I used to 'cos always, in the back of my mind, I'm beating myself up over this problem.
My father also has an addiction, but it's to porn, and he frankly does it see it as a problem. You can, fortunately, see your dad as an inspiration on how to win the battle but I can only look inwards.
Anyway, I found it was good for me to come clean with this, and so it should be for you. And I wouldn't beat myself up about wet dreams, it's a natural subconscious act, playing out what your conscious mind won't allow. I'd see it as a good sign that your body is now trying to cope with the sudden changes in routine.
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CallmeThomas
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Posted: Sun May 13th, 2007 07:35 pm |
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Just to help clarify I just recently turned 15 years old and would love some suggestions on good scripture to read and whatever you guys think could help. I know I need to come to clean to my parents but It's just so hard.. If anyone could give some advice I'd love to hear it..
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crucified123
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Posted: Sun May 13th, 2007 10:09 pm |
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Dear CallmeThomas,
A couple of suggestion to help yourself come out of this darkness.
1) Contact New Life Ministries. They will help you know what to do and they will help you talk to your parents about this. They are Christians who are experts in the issues that plague you. "In the multitude of counselors, there is wisdom."
2) I don't know how up your pastor or youth pastor may be on this subject, but you may want to feel them out on this. If they are familiar with this, then go to them and asked them to meet with you and your parents to help you share and to ask them to help you get the counseling that you need.
3) Do the above immediately. New Life is available 24/7. The number can be found on their website: newlifeministries.org.
Purchase the book: "Every Young Man's Battle" immediately!!!!!! Perhaps, New Life will donate the book to you. I gave a copy to my downstairs neighbor's son. He is very appreciative for passing this on to him. It has answer a lot of questions that we simply are not made privy to and so we get caught up in getting genuine needs met, but in very destructive and addictive ways.
Let me know what you decided to do - after it's done.
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CallmeThomas
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Posted: Mon May 14th, 2007 12:43 am |
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Thankyou for the help man and I like to say thankyou. I just had one more question which escaped me earlier. I was thinking about later on in life and was wondering if guys that have had sexual addictions can have children without relapsing..
Anyways im not going to lie to you. I've tried problem a hundred or more times to talk to my parents about this before. It's going to be hard and take some time for me to get this done. I know that I am not going to be plaqued with this forever though. Im at war with myself and it sucks but I've got god on my side. Thankyou for the help truely.
Thomas
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CallmeThomas
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Posted: Mon May 14th, 2007 04:02 am |
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Well Guys it's official I told my dad..It was the hardest thing I've ever done before. I was talking to him on the phone and he didn't even skip a beat after I told him. He's
caring for my grandparents in Georgia right now so I finnaly did it.
This forum has helped me on the track to getting my life back thankyou god for helping me find this. thankyou.
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TimM
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Posted: Mon May 14th, 2007 04:25 pm |
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Great work! May it be the beginning of a lot more new openness between you.
Tim M.
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geeky_student
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Posted: Tue May 15th, 2007 12:56 am |
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Hi Thomas,
welcome and good job! I havent done so yet...
i am about your age and yes i do stomp when i get frustrated.. need to work on that too.
You know, everytime after i sin, the Holy Spirit always reminds me of the horror of being a man who has trouble loving and caring for his wife and kids. I ask for God's forgiveness and He is merciful. Praise God!
God bless! Let Him soften our hearts!
i will continue praying for you guys
keep clean
____________________
For God, for her, for my parents, for own good.
tip: when tempted, think of God, think of that special someone you love. 
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forlorn
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Posted: Tue May 15th, 2007 04:55 pm |
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Dude!! Thomas! Props to you dude! That is so hard to do. I haven't told my dad yet; my stepdad knows, a couple of my friends and one of my mentor type people (Christian role model). But I know that I probably should tell my dad sometime soon and I know it's going to be a very, very hard thing. Especially since my Dad and I have never had any kind of discussion about sex or anything like that. If a T.V. show was talking about sex, even if it's in a good way (like Home Improvement) my dad used to change the channel because it was an uncomfortable thing. So telling my dad will be no easy matter. Props man. Don't be alone in this. Hit it with everything you've got, it's hard and it takes work but you can do it.
I would suggest that you tell Christian leaders in your life to help you out. I tried the whole youth pastor thing but nothing happened because he's super busy with other kids. I would tell someone who you know personally, a family friend, teacher, brother... someone you're pretty close to, who knows you personally and you talk to or see on a semi-regular basis.
I'm trying to set up a kind of web of accountability. I'm involved in a pretty rad ministry so I told my boss, and I'm going to tell my other boss this week. They're both Christian leaders in my life, they care about me and my Spiritual growth and I see/talk to them on a regular basis. If I have to call them about buisness then it's easy for them to check up on me. So my accountability web will be those two, two friends of mine, my stepdad and maybe my actual dad. That web will likely grow which is cool for me because it keeps me more accountable.
Ok, long post, sorry. Here's a verse that has always encouraged me, I also show it to Christian guys who struggle with Homosexuality:
1 Peter 5:8-11
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.
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CallmeThomas
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Posted: Tue May 15th, 2007 09:24 pm |
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Thanks so much for the post guys and ty for the good scripture. My dad comes home tonight and were going to talk about everything more in depth..I'm a little worried what I'll need to do to stay clean but im prepared to do what is necesary. I'm a little worried I might haft to go to a treatment center but I'm thinking treatment is mostly for addicts with substance problems. Anyways I remember one verse that helped me in school that was short sweet and to the point Job 31:1 I made a convenant with my self not to look lustfully at a girl. (I think that's correct scripture) My dad is a very understanding person and I'm hoping I can get through it. I was just really worried about one aspect of my life. Since about a year ago when I looked at pornography (not a proud thing) I litterly stoped having fun. I dont know if any other guys have had this problem but I got to a point where the only way to get intrested about anything was that it had to be sexualy based. Im talking about just weird can't have fun, I wasn't enjoying Christmas.. Anyways thankyou for the help guys. I hope to get this under control and make god a part of my life again.
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CallmeThomas
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Posted: Thu May 17th, 2007 03:37 am |
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Hey guys this is Thomas again. I'm on day 4 away from things and am going to talk with my mom soon about this. I'm not going to say that I'm a little worried about it but I'll haft to take faith in god on this one..Anyways I'm going to see a good counselor I saw when I was little. I saw her the first time because of my dad's addiction and really got help from her. Anyways, I have mostly made this post because of reading Openwounds other topics. Openwound man, I'm going to pray something nuts for you man. I feel like we have a lot in common because we have so much of the same responsiblities and expectations. I understand that we are about 4 years apart and that we could probably give eachother help with this. When I start to see my counselor I'll be shure to pass along as much of the help she can give me to you man. I also know that it can be frustrating to want to be with a person you really want to spend time with but can't because you feel guilty. I am a guy that would love to ask a few girls I know at school to movies, etc but I know I can't because of my problem. I do know that I'm not in the same exact girl situation because us being deferent ages but that a little in common could go a long way.
Open buddy be at peace with your mind tonight and know this. I have never gone more than 2 weeks with out the "m" for 5 years and I know it's hurt me as a person. You being able to go days apon days while suffering intense pain makes you a role model for me and a lot of other guys on this forum. Be at peace man if only for a few seconds while reading this.
Good night all and I pray for you open wound and the rest of you guys that we will all be truely free one day.
P.S.- sorry if I put a lot of melodrama in this I only mean for this to be true from the heart and be good for all.
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