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ablemike
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Posted: Wed Feb 8th, 2006 06:25 am |
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My wife left me 6 weeks ago, she is a christian and I am as well.
Where does God really stand on divorce.
Is lust in the heart the same as adultery ?
Does she have scriptural basis for divorcing me?
After I confessed my pornography problem to her, I woke up the next day and she was gone. She left the state with our 4 year old daughter illegally.
I dive into the word and get confused.
1. Adultery is grounds for divorce.
2. Is lusting in the mind and heart adultery in that sense?
3. If Adultery is grounds for divorce and lusting after pornography is adultery in the heart, does that constitute grounds ?
4. If I have repented and have completely given it to God and he forgets my sin, is my wife obligated spiritually to do the same?
Deuteronomy 23:21-23
God views all vows (including our marriage vows) in a
very serious light. They must be kept at all times.
Numbers 30: 2-4
Ecclesiastes 5: 1-6
Romans 7: 1-4
A husband and wife are bound by a covenant commitment to marriage. If either divorces and re-marries whilst the previous partner is still alive, they will be living in
adultery. Death alone terminates the marriage covenant.
1 Corinthians 7:10-13, 39
Husbands and wives must not put each other away in divorce. In the unfortunate event of divorce occurring then either party must remain unmarried, or be reconciled.
Luke 16: 18
If a husband or a wife divorces and re-marries whilst the
Mark 10: 10-12
previous partner is still alive then they are living in adultery
Matthew 5: 31,32
The exception clauses are only in the book of Matthew.
Matthew 19: 1-9
The New International Version (NIV) wrongly substitutes the words “marital unfaithfulness” for “fornication” as it appears in the King James Version.
Malachi 2:14 – 16
God sees marriage as a covenant and becoming one flesh. And he hates divorce!
Thanks for your input,
Mike
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Joel2:25
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Posted: Wed Feb 8th, 2006 04:17 pm |
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Mike,
Sorry to tell you but I do believe that lust in the heart IS adultery. Matthew 5 (I think it is) very specifically addresses that concern. See, I think when Jesus paid the supreme sacrifice, he really raised the standard *past* the law. He also said the law said you shall not murder, but now if we hate someone, we might as well have knifed them.
On the flip side, I really do believe with that standard raising comes the obligation to forgive over and over as well. Forgiving 70 X 7 ... it was never said that applies to a different problem each time. I may be called to forgive my husband 70 X 7 for the same offense, over and over again.
I will pray your wife will find forgiveness in her heart for you. You have to remember not everyone is as spiritually mature as the next. Perhaps the wound is going too deep for her to cope with at this time. I think it's in Acts we're told to make concessions for the weaker spiritual brother/sister so we don't cause them to stumble.
You mind giving us a little background on this situation? I'm wondering how long ago this all came to a head? For instance, if you say you gave it God and repented, but if that was 10 days ago for instance, it stands to reason whatever you gave to God may still be tormenting your wife. We all have differing speeds of healing.
Last edited on Wed Feb 8th, 2006 04:18 pm by Joel2:25
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Joel2:25
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Posted: Wed Feb 8th, 2006 04:33 pm |
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| Oh YIKES I forgot to add, yes, God DOES hate divorce. I don't believe he hates those who are divorced though.
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ablemike
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Posted: Wed Feb 8th, 2006 04:35 pm |
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I gave it to God on January 3rd. The day after I confessed it to my wife.
I have struggled with this in the past. I have been in a program called "Setting The Captives Free" and I am on day 12 now.
Right now, my wife will not even talk to her pastor of 5 years who she loves and respects, she has left the state with our 4 year old daughter and will not communicate with anyone.
It is a very ugly situation. She has abandoned every spiritual authority she submitted to in the past and I know now I am free. I wish I could have told her sooner, but i was so afraid and so ashamed.
Had she confronted me about it though, I would have denied it.
God has done some pretty marvelous things to me over the past 35 days. His word is in me deep and I have found alot of healing.
Noone can get through to her. She has completely cut herself off and will not even let me talk to my daughter on a regular basis.
In the 10 years we have been together she has upped and run off 9 times.
This is the 2nd time she has taken off since we have been married. I asked for help last summer and she wasnt extremely supportive. When I told her "if i stumble again..." she looked at me like "What do you mean if!" like I was supposed to be cured over night. I was strong for a good couple of months and then fell again.
And confessed it to her much later than I wanted to.
I woke up the next day, and she was gone with no good bye.
I want my family to be strong, and want my family to be serving God.
I don't believe God wants us to be divorced.
I don't believe he supports her in what she has done.
But I also know I deserve nothing. The actions I have done against this covenant with him are unspeakable and bring me great sorrow.
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Bulldawg
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Posted: Tue Feb 14th, 2006 12:42 pm |
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Ever read Max Lucado's books? Excellent stuff in easy to follow language - he truly has a gift. He does a good job in the following concerning divorce:
http://www.maxlucado.com/pdf/divorce.pdf
I'm not sure how to set this up as a link, so you'll probably have to cut and paste until then..........oh wait....per my preview, I think it worked.......
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We will all feel very much ashamed if we do not yield to Jesus the areas of our lives He has asked us to yield to Him. To reach that level of determination is a matter of the will, not of debate or of reasoning. It is absolute surrender of your will.
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