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RTK
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Posted: Fri Dec 9th, 2005 06:05 pm |
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In trying not to get overwhelmed and look for ways to help me feel better, I thought I'd ask for prayer support rather than turning to the old bad habits associated with sexual addiction - those habits don't help anyway. I need some prayer support.
.I've got two daughters 16 and 15 and a 4 yr old. My wife's Dad is manic depressive (bi polar). My wife and 16 yr old were diagnosed last yr. with bi polar. To keep it short and sweet, we went through hell on earth with out 16 year old - defianace, rebellion, profanity, aggression (not drugs alcohol or sex). She is currently taking medication to help keep her mood stabilized.
Here we go down this road again. We are now seeing our 15 year old starting to do the same types of behavior - rebellion, aggressive behavior, attitude, etc. We are not talking about the normal teen age stuff here. Anyway, (after talking with the psychiatrist) I might be taking my 15 yr old to the ER room at the hospital - if not today- then very soon (I have to take this one day at a time) to have her evaluated and see if she needs to be hospitalized (child behavior ward) for observation....If she gives me hell and threatens to run off, I have to call the police and get a CRI (crisis intervention team over).
My wife and I are together on things. We are not going to have our 15 year old go on with things like the first time we went this direction. If we have to, we are willing to send her to a youth home if we have to... pray.
RTK
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captivated
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Posted: Fri Dec 9th, 2005 10:55 pm |
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RTK,
Yes, you and your family are prayed for. My oldest is a teenage daughter....down to a 4 yr old (5 in all).....so I have a heart for the spot you and your wife might be in! I went to an inner healing prayer conference a while back and truly appreciate a holistic approach. Sometimes God uses several means to bring health and healing, whether medication....doctors....nutrition....exercise....psychologists, etc.....but always the Word and prayer! I have found praying through actual scripture passages to be quite powerful and freeing.....since it's the sword of the Spirit! Praying also for godly care-givers for your daughter. 
captivated
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RTK
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Posted: Sat Dec 10th, 2005 10:41 am |
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Thanks for the prayers and empathy. I did take my 15 yr old to the hospital last night. From my perspective, it was a waste of time and energy. (She was released and they said that she doesn't seem to have any problems. This same thing happended to my older daughter when it all started.) Nevertheless, from my daughter's perspective, perhaps it was a wake up call. To me it will be a mile marker if things get worse.
My daughter is sooooo angry  with me. But for the grace of the Lord go I.
As I mentioned earlier (and I can feel that tug), there was a time when I'd reach for other ways to help get rid of this stress and frustration. Turning to the Lord is the only way to go with this stuff. Lord help me this day to focus on you and how much you love me. Your grace and mercies are sufficient for this day.
RTK
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captivated
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Posted: Sat Dec 10th, 2005 11:42 am |
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Well, said! ....and I will continue to pray for you and your wife and daughter in every way, including about the temptations. You are doing well by recognizing how the enemy has attempted pull down in the past and sharing about it here! ....and your love for your daughter in taking her last night is a bit like God's love for us and our angry response at times.....He loves us and gives us what's best for us, thankfully, not what we think we need, EVEN when we go kicking and screaming! Eventually, we realize, that this discipline is out of His great love and we are thankful He's cared enough to rescue us from ourselves. So, RTK, you were Jesus to your daughter last night, whether or not she recognizes it YET! As you continue to seek to love on her in a way which will minister to her heart and to listen to her as well, but stay firm, as you have, she'll eventually see the heart and care of the Father through you.....I believe she will!!! I'll join you in asking Him to minister through you by the power of the Spirit!
Blessings to you and yours!
captivated
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RTK
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Posted: Sat Dec 10th, 2005 12:52 pm |
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Captivated,
Thanks for the words of blessing.
RTK
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RTK
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Posted: Thu Jan 5th, 2006 09:57 pm |
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I don't have anyone to talk with about all this. Either folks don't understand - or have not got time to listen. Mike and Steve, I hope you don't mind my writing a lengthy thingie here - but it helps me to get things off my chest so to speak. The following is the kind of stuff that would only build up pressure - and if I don't vent some - I know I'll take a tumble into sexual acting out to relieve the pressure - it's just bad past habits....I know the patterns.
This writing is about my 16 yr old daughter. She is very intelligent, bright, and attractive but is showing regressive behaviors. The other night, I just held her when she was in her room and told her that she was special. I try to pray with her every night. I try to be a good Dad and do the right things - I rarely yell or scream -and I try hard not to respond when she pushes my buttons. it is essential that I take one day at a time.
Today, I talked with the psychiatrist on the phone (my daughter skipped the appt.) he suggests tweaking the meds to help her out (this is the 8th type of medication we've tried) ... A residential program is what is needed, but I can't afford $4,500 a month - that is cheap for a Christian residential program (Boys and Girls town). If I mention this to my wife about residential program I will get hell's wrath*.
She had been in a residential program called Teen Challenge for a short while ($1,000 a month). My wife had a hard time with this and now insists our daughter belongs in our home so that we can be a family* To the point - she ran off too many times... took a bottle of tylenol (500 mg tablets)...financially, this cost us out of pocket for the hopital about $2,000 (yes, we have insurance). This does not include monthly bills for meds - for both my wife and daughter (sometimes $200+).
We've been through hours of therapy, psychology visits, three trips to the behavioral adolescent ward, the police had been in our home on several occassions. I also went down town to the police station on one occassion. I am presently feeling anxious because she is not communicating with us about her where abouts. One example from two days ago - she crossed a major boundary, we told her that she was to clean up her bathroom (30 min max) before either my wife or I give her a ride to work - or give her a ride home. That was early a.m. I have not heard from my 16 yr. old thus far today. She did not come home after school. I trust she is at work. However, I did get a call from the asst principal today.
Yesterday, both her mother and I told her that her holey blue jeans she just purchased were not acceptable to the school dress code. She lied to me and told me that she had an extra pair in her book bag. She did get kicked out of 4th hour. She's got in house again for the jeans and for skipping classes, she has to serve in house (she's walked out of in house more than once and she's already been suspended from school once this year)
What she wants in life is unrealistic. Life has it's rules, restrictions and conseuences. I can say that if she gets suspended from school - she will not work during that time.
My wife had a nervous break down during this kind of stuff about a year an half ago. More anxiety about how she is doing. The other day, she said that she was really worried about our 16 yr old. I told her that worry is a bit strong...she emphasized the word - and the fact that she is worried. More anxiety and tension in our home.
Control her money? Wrong answer. She is very bright. She found a bank that lets her
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have a savings account without a parental signature. I can't do squat about it. She used to walk around with a lot of $ on her, last week I know she had a chunk of change on her when she went to school - yes, many people have talked with her about it.
We have checked into NAMI. I intend to go to one of the meetings. perhaps I'll be able to find someone who can relate to all that I've writtien here. If you wonder why my daughter is doing all this, so do a lot of professional as well. Steve and Mike, thanks for letting me unload. I hope I don't get banned for this 
RTK
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captivated
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Posted: Fri Jan 6th, 2006 08:26 am |
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RTK,
It sounds like you and your wife are doing all you each know how to do, to the best of your ability and insight. This spirit of rebellion is tough....chemical imbalances are tough.....and not only affect those suffering with them, but often leave the other family members feeling occasional bouts of craziness.  Personally, I see these things medically, emotionally, AND spiritually, so I tend to want to seek out help in all areas. It sounds like you're already working on behavioral approaches, chemical help via medicine, emotional support from professionals and genuinely seeking to love your daughter well....and spiritually, I know you pray for her, etc.... Keep doing these things......she needs it and would miss the affection and support, I believe, even though she may not let on that she would.
Spiritually......now track with me just a bit. If my suggestions sound radical or out there to you.....well, drastic situations sometimes call for radical or less conventional methods of intervention (for we Americans). I just read this morning in Ephesians how we battle not against flesh, but against dark spiritual forces....forces which want our marriages, our homes, our children and God's Kingdom, ultimately. Much of what I'm saying, I know you know, RTK, but for the sake of what I'm about to suggest, I'm still repeating it.... Anyway, these evil forces are real, BUT God is greater and has already won the ultimate battle over sin and death through His shed blood on the cross and resurrection victory and because Jesus went up to heaven, we now have the very Spirit of God dwelling in us as His children! What power and comfort AND authority He's blessed us with.......WHEN we use it. One of the biggest lies the enemy tries to feed us is that we don't have the power we do in Christ! He also likes us to forget what he (the enemy) is about so he can carry on with his devilish schemes, which you've obviously been aware of from some of your entry's here. So, the point of all my ramblings is that I'd also try some things like picking up the Word as a sword and praying it aloud as Jesus did since the enemy and his demons cannot read our thoughts. We can battle them with God's powerful Word, though. I'd check out some books on spiritual warfare, as well. I'd play worship music in my home, however quietly, to try to "bless" the atmosphere of my home.....I'd keep praying for and loving her, ask God for a spirit of wisdom and revelation......whatever it takes! IF she truly wants help, there is also a resource by Neil Anderson which can be powerful to read and pray through.....it's called something like the Seven Steps to Freedom in Christ and also talks about how to denounce past involvement with things like Ouija boards, claiming biblical truths by praying scriptures, dealing with eating issues, breaking off generational curses, etc...... I think his book called "Victory Over Darkness" also contains this resource in the back. Otherwise it's also sold as a pamphlet. If your daughter's not willing, it could really help you and your wife, for starters, which will ultimately help your daughter as well! Sounds like she'll need some inner healing as well, but again, she has to be willing. Praying with others is also powerful! .....AND there are many valuable resources about reaching the heart of your teens, etc....which I'd also be blessed to read right now!!!
Of course, I don't have all the answers here, but thankfully, we know the One who does! I will definitely pray for you, your wife, daughter and family in many ways here! This is tough! Glad you shared with us and resisted those old destructive patterns!!!
captivated
Last edited on Fri Jan 6th, 2006 03:17 pm by captivated
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captivated
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Posted: Sat Jan 7th, 2006 11:05 am |
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RTK,
Just wanted to share a bit of my "story" to lend some credibility and compassion to what I wrote yesterday. Our ten year old son has had bouts of emotionally falling apart. He's been diagnosed with ADHD and has been on and off of various medications for this. Stratterra seems to work best and keep him the most even right now EXCEPT for when he misses some doses as he did over vacation. I also do attribute him being more even emotionally to prayer and the work of the Lord, as well. Well, last night was the night for his missed doses to affect him.....actually it went on, off and on, for over 24 hours! When he's like this, we can't reason with him, he argues lots, he cries and screams lots, he seems to get nose bleeds more when he's upset, and ultimately, he really affects the atmosphere of our entire home! My husband does not want to be, but he was the "cave man" last night, hiding out upstairs for awhile...... I know this is not the same as the rebellion, the vulnerable situations your daughter could be placing herself in, etc..... The older the person, the more crucial and serious the potential circumstances! I really do fee for you and your wife here and will continue to pray for all of you and for God's protection for your daughter and also that she'd know and receive the love of the Father in a way that would be transforming and add to her stability emotionally!
With sincere compassion,
captivated
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RTK
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Posted: Sat Jan 7th, 2006 06:20 pm |
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Captivated,
Thanks for the prayers, listening ear, empathy... and Mike and Steve for not banning me for such a load that I dumped!
It goes without saying (I had to say that so I would not repeat it later) - I do pray for you and others in this forum.
RTK
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captivated
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Posted: Sun Jan 8th, 2006 06:18 pm |
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Thank you back, RTK! I know this is a blessing to all of us! 
captivated
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MattL
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Posted: Sun Feb 26th, 2006 07:04 pm |
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God,
Even in the digits of cyberspace you are here. Hear our prayer for all the people afflicted with this horrible disease. Let your grace watch over us all and protect us. Lead us and show us oh, Lord the things we need to overcome. Help us to remember that each sin we overcome keeps us closer to you.
Amen
Hope that does the trick. You are still recieving prayers my friend. Our little internet fellowship is bigger than Lust. And we got God on our side. Can't really lose if we just banish the shame, pray and do the work.
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captivated
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Posted: Mon Feb 27th, 2006 12:46 am |
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Actually, I am learning how utterly helpless I am in some ways to do anything in and of my own human efforts, yet we have all the power of the universe at our grasp through the blood of the risen Lamb and the power of the Holy Spirit! I need Him to do this job of making me like Christ so much! ...and I need to stay in love with Him and forgiveness with others!!!
Hey, for those of you who like worship music, I've really enjoyed AllWorship.com....I mostly hit the contemporary section, but there's something for all tastes and it's free with the basic selection! Enjoy! Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!!! Sometimes, worship is the only way I find I'm able to rise above.....and to soar with Him and grow in love for Him....and see this life, it's trials and temptations for what they are....as they loose their grip in His awesome presence more and more...for better is one day in His courts than a thousand elsewhere!!! Ps 84:10
Blessings to all in Jesus!
captivated
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RTK
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Posted: Tue Nov 21st, 2006 04:58 pm |
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To make it short, there have been a great deal of of positive changes in my oldest daughter's life this past year. She graduates from high school in December. She should get her drivers license soon. She is off to boot camp January 31st. She wants to be nurse in the Army Resereves. We pray for her daily, but she isn't listening to Him. We trust one day that she will realize that He has been there all the time.
As for me, I am alone and without accountability. I miss having a mentor in my life. Finding a mentor can be a difficult thing.
Very briefly, I did have an angel talk with me yesterday - at least I think he was an angel ( - = Get this, we are working out down at the Y and this guy I don't even know approached me and starts asking me why I moved over to where a young, attractive woman was working out....I told him I was finishing my workout.... then he starts getting pointed about how distracting she was.... and asked me how I was doing keeping my thoughts right! BUSTED... no excuses.
I have been doing pretty well with sin and temptation, but as you just read I have my moments when sin and temptation take me down the hall and beat me up (or should I say I allow myself to go down the hall with them?)
God is good. He is faithful and just and will cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
RTK
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captivated
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Posted: Wed Dec 6th, 2006 04:25 am |
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Hey, RTK!
So thankful to hear about your daughter! Still pray for her from time to time, when I see you post or God brings her to mind. Hey, do you know where she'll be stationed first? They do training here, where we live!
....and thank God for angels!!! I've wondered if I've met some as well!!! Truly!!!!
Blessings to you!
Captivated
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captivated
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Posted: Wed Dec 6th, 2006 04:25 am |
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Hey, RTK!
So thankful to hear about your daughter! Still pray for her from time to time, when I see you post or God brings her to mind. Hey, do you know where she'll be stationed first? They do training here, where we live!
....and thank God for angels!!! I've wondered if I've met some as well!!! Truly!!!!
Blessings to you!
Captivated
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RTK
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Posted: Wed Dec 6th, 2006 04:45 am |
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She will be stationed at Ft. Leonard Wood...then off to TX for nurses training...then off to college in WI
Thanks, Captivated for the inquiry.
I am tempted to check out what Victoria is doing tonight. Real tempted. Take note, here am I in this forum ... I am here! ... I am now going straight to bed and not give what's her name another thought.
RTK
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captivated
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Posted: Wed Dec 6th, 2006 04:53 am |
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Prayed for you brother! She, if it's the Victoria I think you mean, never satisfies! Any group accountability possibilities for you yet? Just wondering! If we end up moving, I'll let you know, but that's not where we are now! Pray she'll find some Christians and be blessed with fellowship, etc...!
Captivated
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