| Author | Post |
|---|
strugglingstan
Member
| Joined: | Tue Jan 10th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 2 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |  |
|
Posted: Wed Jan 11th, 2006 01:32 am |
|
| Hi, I want to introduce myself to this forum and explain my situation... From a very young age, I was very attracted to the female body. I have looked at pornographic videos on and off from age 10, so it has become an addiction to me in the sense that it is something that is a regular part of what I do regularly. My mother is very religious and as a result, raised me this way. I accepted Christ as my Savior when I was 16, but even before then and afterwards, I knew that I should not be looking at porn. I struggled with it throughout my school years and through college as I would go through bouts of months when I would like at it and when I wouldn't. When the Internet became prevalent when I was in high school, it made it harder for me to resist. About five years ago, I got involved with a wonderful girl, but I never told her about my addiction. About two years ago, she found the sites I had been on and she was, to say the least, angry. I explained to her my addiction and promised I would stop. a few months later, she caught me once again. The same thing, I promised I would stop. A few months later, she caught me once again, and I told her, this time I would tell her if I look at porn so that she could help me deal with the issue. However, I felt that she would leave me if I messed up again, so I went back to it, but did not tell her. About two weeks ago, she caught me once again. I believe that before, the reason I did not seek help was that I was ashamed and did not know who to turn to. I was also angry at myself for not being able to handle this on my own, and I guess you can say my pride prevented from seeking real help. Now our relationship is on the bubble, but I decided to seek help out because regardless of things work out with my girlfriend and I, I know that if I do not better myself regarding this, that it will continually haunt in the future with my future wife and family. I want to take a more proactive approach to this, and I have actually turned off the Internet from my computer at this time per my girlfriends request. As a result, I can only get on this when I am at school. It is an inconvenience for me, but I realize that the things you want most should not unattained because of inconvenience. I desire to work at this to improve myself personall and spiritually as this addiction has been partly responsible for my struggling relationship with God as well. Thank you for listening.
|
matt
Member
| Joined: | Mon Oct 3rd, 2005 |
| Location: | Ohio |
| Posts: | 171 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |   |
|
Posted: Wed Jan 11th, 2006 11:53 am |
|
Stan,
First, congrats on taking a difficult but courageous first step. The first step to addressing this issue is bringing it to the light by sharing it with other safe men who have a shared goal.
You are not alone. Your story is very similar to many others here including mine. I say that not to diminish your struggle but to encourage you that freedom, while very challenging, is possible.
This addiction is very aggressive, meaning that the highs that were once exciting usually aren't high enough for us after a while. Most move on to more dangerous, risky behaviors and the addiction grows out of control until it is addressed. I say that to encourage you for taking this step and to keep this in mind as you strive towards freedom.
Let me know if there's any questions that you have or if I can do anything to help.
____________________
In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't.
-Blaise Pascal
|
needhelp
Member
| Joined: | Thu Jan 12th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 9 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Thu Jan 12th, 2006 07:36 pm |
|
Stan,
Wow. I thought I was alone too. I wanted to be alone. The only one with the addiction. As it got worse for me I knew I needed to do something. I too am in a situation with a girlfriend who has caught me several times. I keep telling her I will stop, but keep backsliding. Then I feel like crap because I can't seem to control it. I too was raised as a Christian all my life. I can't believe the shame I live with on a daily basis. The way I see it is.... it really doesn't matter who knows or doesn't know. We both know that GOD knows. He knows our hearts. Our every thought. He does not want us to live like this. I am new to this forum and am hoping that by talking to others who have similar problems that I can in fact help myself by helping others. Let me know if you want any help I might be able to give.
Karl
|
Current time is 12:28 pm | |
|
|
|
RSS