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CB
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| Joined: | Wed Jul 2nd, 2008 |
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Posted: Tue Jul 15th, 2008 04:25 pm |
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Hey all,
I'll just introduce myself real quick. I came across this site about 4 years ago, when my marriage was falling apart. Actually, I was destroying it with my love for lust and pornography. Mike, if you are reading this I just want to thank you for your transparent honesty. You told it like it was and gave me the tools I needed to break free from this addiction. Thank you, sir.
I've been free from the power of lust for 3+ years now. I'm not trying to brag or gloat. It's ONLY by God's power and grace that I'm where I am today. In fact, when pride steps in and I start thinking that I have this thing beat, is when problems start rising.
Anyway, I'm just going to be honest. I was debating whether or not to get involved with this message board. I've been reading it for the past couple months or so, and my heart breaks. My heart breaks for the men who are caught up in this trap, because I know how frustrating it was to try to overcome. My heart breaks for the women who have been betrayed by their husbands, because I did the same thing to my wife. My heart breaks for the children whose parents are divorced as the result of sexual addiction.
I can relate to alot of the poeple on this board. I would try, and try, and try to stay clean. And I would for a period of time, but would end up returning to the same old thing. I hated myself for it. I hated myself for destroying the one person I commited my life to. I hated myself for breaking my family apart. And yet I would slip into the same sin, over and over and over again. Finally I got to the point where I realized I was pursuing the wrong thing. I was so determined to resist temptation, so determinied not to mess up again, so determinied not to emotionally rape my wife again, that I missed the point. I had put this sin above God. I was trying to get free from lust, more than I was trying to get close to God. Freedom from sexual addiction is a by-product of pursuing, and being close to God.
There were three things that happened around the same time that were the turning point for me:
1.) I confessed EVERYTHING to my wife. I apologized and asked for her forgiveness for having an affair with pornography and masturbation. Guys, you're kidding yourselves if you think you can get through this without telling your wives. I can understand where some of you are coming from in not wanting to hurt them, but you're past that point. I don't believe there is ever going to be complete freedom from this as long as your are hiding it from your wife. Confession is key. Sure we need to confess it to God and get it right with Him. But if you are married, you didn't just sin against God. You also sinned against your wife.
2.) I very honestly told God that I could not do it. I desperately needed His help.
3.) For the first time in my life, I really pursued God. I think I finally realized that He was all I needed. This was the scariest time in my life. I realized I was not in control of my future. I didn't know if my wife would be there the next day. I didn't know if my kids would be there the next day. The only thing I knew was that I had God, and that God is faithful.
Since then my relationship with God has not been the same. The Bible came alive like it never has before. I felt like I was communicating with Him when I prayed. And the biggest change is that lust no longer has a "hold" over me. Is there still temptation? Sure. But I don't feel the need to give in to like I did before. I don't know how to explain it. It just doesn't have the control over me that it once had.
That's me, in a nutshell.
CB!
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cbthinking.blogspot.com
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guitarist63
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| Joined: | Mon Feb 12th, 2007 |
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Posted: Tue Jul 15th, 2008 08:27 pm |
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Welcome CB
It's great news, news for rejoicing to hear that you've been free three plus years and all with God's help.
You've found the key.
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truthseeker
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| Joined: | Tue May 16th, 2006 |
| Location: | New Jersey USA |
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Posted: Tue Jul 15th, 2008 09:29 pm |
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Hi CB,
Thank you for being one of few who have returned to say thank you. Mike is not very active on the boards at this time, but I'm sure he would be encouraged were you to send him a PM with your thanks for the site, and testimony of God's faithfulness.
Having been on the boards for a little over two years, I am grateful that you have returned to encourage others.
TruthSeeker
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