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> The Journey to Grace > Introduction > Trying to find my way with GOD

Trying to find my way with GOD
 Moderated by: Steve, bil4913, truthseeker  
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searching4answers1977
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Joined: Mon Mar 10th, 2008
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 6
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
 Posted: Fri Mar 14th, 2008 03:01 am
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Hello,
      Well my story is very long so I will try and make it short and sweet. I am single mom of two boys 10 and 6. I'm 30 years of age. Never been married. Been very lost for many years.
       My journey has only started in the last year in trying to forgive my Lord for taking something that was precious to me. My oldest son. He would have been turning 12 this year. But he passed away when he was 2 years old of SIDS. So YES I lost faith in our God for many years after that. But as I grew I started to realize that our Lord doesn't put us threw things we can not handle. And my grandfather gave me the footprint Poem which made me realize that our father is always there for us and when you do see just one set of foot prints that he was carrying us. After I had read that poem I went home and started thinking about everything I had done in my life that wasn't in the way of GOD. I all of a sudden needed to take a shower. As I showered I just started to cry uncontrollably and then I fell down and ask Lord our father for forgiveness in everything I had done wrong and that I was sorry for blaming him in what he had put upon me. And I understood now why he did what he had did to me. I figure he gave me my first son to show how to love something unconditionally. And the feeling of something so precious to depend on me and love me back and help me realize that life is to precious to take for granted and to live life to the fullest and be with our father. It took me many years to realize that I needed to be with God. Actually it took me 8 years after my son had passed. Its is now 10 years this July 2008 that my precious Jordan has been gone. I now know that My son was given to me for just a short time and to teach me that life is precious and so is love and they are the two most important things we need.  Jordan showed me how to truly love from the heart and he showed me what true happiness was. Because my Jordan came to me in my dream the night before I cried in that shower and told me, " Mommy I'm ok I love you very much and please don't cry for me I am with our Father now and I'm do miss you but I'm happy here being where there is no hurt or hate. And don't worry I'll watch you from here and always love you till I see you again." For a while I thought I was just crazy and I was dreaming but I had someone tell me that they had there loved one come to them to comfort them and to say it was ok. And then I knew that our Father was taking care of Jordan and I knew my little boy who was an angel here in life was now an angel in heaven with our Lord. God Bless and I hope that anyone who reads this can take comfort in knowing I know how hard it is to lose something that is so dear to you as I lost My Son.



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Wilderness Voice
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Joined: Fri Jul 6th, 2007
Location: Arkansas USA
Posts: 156
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Mana: 
 Posted: Fri Mar 14th, 2008 02:17 pm
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Dear Searching:

What a most precious story!  You have to know that God loves you very much, because people from the other side are only allowed to appear like that if it is the Father's will.  What a wonderful thing He did for you.  You must continue to surrender all of your heart to Him as He obviously desires for you to spend all eternity with Him.

You can be assured that He will watch over you in all circumstances, that even if you have to sacrifice something now, He will be there to protect and guide and provide for you.  You are watched over carefully by God.

You should order the book, "My Dream of Heaven," by Rebecca Ruter Springer.  You can get it from Amazon.  It was written sometime in the late 1800's, so the language is a little heavy.  She was very ill and alone and was actually allowed to enter Heaven and return to write her testimony.  It is absolutely wonderful, but also full of wisdom on how we should conduct our lives now as we are here to prepare ourselves for an eternity spent with God.  You will find several stories similar to Jordan's in those pages and be comforted by the fact that other's have gone through the same thing.  The children, and other loved ones, are truly, truly happy up there and eagerly await for the time we are to meet them.  The are not lonely or sad or unhappy at all - and neither do they want us to be.  And, in special circumstances, they are permitted to openly help us.   I know some don't believe these things, even the people that reprinted Rebecca'a book show their doubt in their introduction even though they think its a nice story.  Maybe you can find an original "Intra Muros" is the name, without the modern commentary, but it's only in the front part anyway.  My wife and I believe this really happened to you.

What a wonder our God is!  We should surrender everything to Him for He is worth the entire universe.  Walk away from all that is wrong and live every moment as unto Christ.

In the Love of Jesus,

Wilderness Voice

 

Last edited on Fri Mar 14th, 2008 02:18 pm by Wilderness Voice

truthseeker
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Joined: Tue May 16th, 2006
Location: New Jersey USA
Posts: 795
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Mana: 
 Posted: Fri Mar 14th, 2008 02:20 pm
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Hi searching4answers1977,

I, too, love the Footprints poem, and the stillbirth of a son at 37 weeks of pregnancy was one of the times Jesus carried me.  It is such a natural thing to ask, "Why, God?"  We may never know the answer to that question in this life.  One thing I have learned is that, since death is part of this world for now, at any age, I am now able to be God's arms to hug those who are grieving, truly able to say I understand.  As I pondered our situation, the verse "every good and perfect gift comes from above" came to mind, and I realized that death is not from God, but a consequence of living in this broken, sin-filled world.  So then I asked the question, "What could Satan possibly get out of this situation, since our precious  baby would be in Heaven?"  Then it hit me.  The only thing Satan could gain from the situation would be me, if I were to turn my back on God, and told him firmly, in no uncertain terms, that that was not going to happen, that I would have all of eternity to spend with our son, and that depriving us of raising him in this life would not spoil our time with him for eternity.

I'm so glad that you reached that understanding as well.  Keep in mind, in your current struggles, that choosing to follow Jesus is not always easy, but is worthwhile from the eternal perspective.

Hugs,
TruthSeeker

guitarist63
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Joined: Mon Feb 12th, 2007
Location:  
Posts: 973
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Mana: 
 Posted: Fri Mar 14th, 2008 10:52 pm
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Welcome Searchingforanswers1977.  Your testimony is very moving.  I give thanks to God that He has restored your faith in Him and revealed His love to you.

Last edited on Fri Mar 14th, 2008 10:54 pm by guitarist63


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