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 Moderated by: Steve, bil4913, truthseeker  
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mo4wo1
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Joined: Thu Aug 9th, 2007
Location:  
Posts: 2
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
 Posted: Fri Oct 19th, 2007 07:29 pm
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Apparently I joined here at some point & had forgotten.

I am a female SA who is married to a SA. I struggled with my behaviors for years until I met my husband. We have been together for just over 13 years. throughout our relationship & marriage, we have struggled with his P use & MB. Last July, I was directed to a internet workshop & there, he came to recognize his behavior as that of an addict. He is now in therapy for that & other things.

While researching, reading & learning all I could about my H I began to suspect I may be one as well. I am fairly certain of it, now. I am struggling with this immensely right now. It scares the *bleep* out of me because I am struggling more today than I have in a very long time. I haven't a/o with others since I met my H except for binges in MB.  I am afraid I am about to step over an edge & lose either footing or my grip on reality at this point. If we could afford it, I'd be in the "nut hatch" right now using up that break-down I earned decades ago.  I am no longer in therapy (bad therapist) but I am reading, still, and trying to find a supportive support group or forum.

I am in desperate need of a support group that concerns itself with female SA's as there literally are no support groups here where I live. I do think a support group would likely do me best but I will do what I can with what I got, right now. Plus, I am not religious. But I need to bend at the least to fix this. What I've been doing isn't working.

Last edited on Fri Oct 19th, 2007 07:29 pm by mo4wo1

TimM
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Joined: Thu Jul 5th, 2007
Location: Rural Midwest, USA
Posts: 180
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
 Posted: Fri Oct 19th, 2007 10:10 pm
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Welcome!  This is a pretty low-volume board right now, but perhaps it may manage to be one small leg of a larger support structure for you.

Another resource you might think about would be the on-line SLAA meetings.  There are at least 2 of these (one of which meets thrice a day) on the Starlink-IRC server.  One has a web page at http://slaaonline.org/ , and the other at http://retreatrecovery.googlepages.com/home/ .
Both these meetings are mixed gender, but they typically contain somewhat more women than men.  Some of the people there really have quite a lot of recovery.

The people there tend to be somewhat passionate about doing things the way the AA Big Book says to do them, but I think that's a good thing.  It's easy to find a sponsor there and to start working the steps.  That was how I started into recovery myself.

For me, those meetings - and knowing that there was almost always someone in those chat rooms with whom I could share and from whom I could hear experience, strength and hope - really transformed my computer from basically purely a demonic tool of my addiction into a powerful instrument of recovery and hope.

I'm not often at those meetings now.  Mostly I go to local face-to-face meetings.  I'm still always impressed at how much I gain from the on-line meetings when I am there, though.  Maybe it's because the chat format means that people are sharing slowly by typing a line at a time.  This means they think carefully about their words; even more, it means that a reader thinks carefully about what others are sharing, savoring a sentence while waiting for the next.  On the other hand, maybe it's just because a lot of the members are women, who can talk more articulately about their feelings than many men can, especially male addicts.

So I'm really a fan of those meetings.  They started the processs of saving my life.  They're especially a priceless resource for female addicts, who often have real trouble finding other women to share with even once they are ready to make the scary first step into recovery.

Whether you find your way to those meetings or not, welcome here!  I hope we can be part of the path to a new life.

Tim M.


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