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isawthesign
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| Joined: | Thu Oct 4th, 2007 |
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Posted: Fri Oct 5th, 2007 07:10 am |
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There is something wrong with him. What do you think?
I met him thru a male friend 2 years ago. We have a phone and email long distance relationship. We talk on the phone and email several times a day.
We've never met in person.
#1 - a month after I started talking to me he told me about some of his sexual exploits.
Like what he did to a lesbeian. How his room mate's girlfriend kept trying to seduce him. Etc...I had to ask him not to tell me that stuff anymore.
#2 - He has an online dating profile for over 4 years
#3 - He has been married 3 times - children with each wife - none of the marriages lasted over 5 years.
#4 - several short term dating relationships - none lasting over 3 months
#5 - Never has made it to meet me in person although he has come up to my area to met my male friend. I only find out after he's gone back home.
#6 - my male friend told me to not get involved with him because he obsessively talks about women and sex. Tells him about the lesbo too. And tells him about all the one night stands he has.
#7 - lied to me and said he wasn't dating anybody ...but told our mutual friend about a women he was dating. of course I found out about it. And it only lasted 2 months.
#8 - Several times he just disappears and I don't hear from him for days or weeks then all of a sudden he picks right up where we left off. (of course I'm mad because of it)
#9 - tells me that I'm "just a friend" although we talk several times a day.
#10 - does not have a very good relationship with his mother or grown children
#11 - told me early on that he does not look at porn.
#12 - Has a steady good professional job.
#13 - He is highly intelligent
#14 - His dating profile has 4 lonely photos of him sitting in front of his computer.
#15 -I get the feeling that he doesn't have much of a social life.
#16 moves frequently - 5 times in the 2 years that I've known him.
#17 - Always rents rooms from people and just slips into their lives until he gets tired of them then finds another room to rent.
#18 - has a good job but never any money
#19 - lays in bed at night and conjures up these memories of things that really didn't happen. To him they are real. Everybody else knows better.
#20 - See's subliminal messages written on things like photographs. I am talking about far out messages that aren't there.
#21 - Has several women friends on his myspace and yahoo 360 - of course there is a lesbo on there.
#22 - Has an illegitimate child
Please let me know what you think. Does he have a sexual addiction or just having fantasies that feel real to him?
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TimM
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| Joined: | Thu Jul 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Rural Midwest, USA |
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Posted: Fri Oct 5th, 2007 11:54 am |
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Getting amateurs to analyze people they never met based on the description by a third party they never met isn't actually the best way to get an accurate diagnosis.
That said, your description makes it sound to this amateur like sex addiction is part of the picture, and like schizophrenia is another part, and like he's also just stringing you along with no intention of meeting you ever.
I just see all kinds of red flags here.
The likelihood of this developing into a marriage seems remote. The likelihood of that marriage succeeding probably rests on his level of commitment to change completely, as well as on your being superhumanly wise and psychologically astute and saintly.
Again, I'm making this up as I go along, as anybody here will be; but I have really, really bad feelings about this. I think how much you've been hurt already is nothing compared to how much you'll be hurt if you continue to try to go forward with this.
Tim M.
Last edited on Fri Oct 5th, 2007 11:55 am by TimM
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truthseeker
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| Joined: | Tue May 16th, 2006 |
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Posted: Fri Oct 5th, 2007 12:22 pm |
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Hi isawthesign,
If, for some reason, you wish to be a friend at the status quo, suit yourself, but if you are even thinking about anything else, I urge you to run, not walk, in the opposite direction. It doesn't matter whether porn/sex addiction is involved, but something is most definitely wrong, and I'm quite sure that you do not want to find out what it is.
A question for your own reflection... Is this the first time that you have become attached to someone who is not really available to you, or is this a recurring pattern? If the latter, have you given serious consideration as to why?
TruthSeeker
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searching4answers1977
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| Joined: | Mon Mar 10th, 2008 |
| Location: | Ontario Canada |
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Posted: Fri Mar 14th, 2008 03:31 am |
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Well Girl friend I was in your shoes once. And Well it didn't turn out well. I would really just keep him as a friend and if you can not handle that then not to worry because you have everyone that cares here about you and you have God on your side.
I met this guy John. And he did have a good job as a Corporal in the military. I met him once. I flew out to Winnipeg to visit family and found out he was going to Winnipeg too as he had family there too. I was only there for a week and in that week we had seen each other maybe three to four times until he made plans with me for new years and he STOOD ME UP. Girl you don't need the problems. If you ever want to chat drop me a line or add me.I'm hear for you and know how you feel. Been there and your not alone.
____________________
Looking for guidance
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