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APR
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Posted: Fri Feb 16th, 2007 05:49 am |
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Just signing on for a minute here while I am waiting for my medication to kick in. I got sweaty cleaning the office the other night and then had to bust some deep snow banks to the bus stop (thanks Mr snowplow!) and waited there in the wind for a long time and got really chilled, even though I was wearing my winter farm gear. I about caught my death and am not doing too much right now (I am sure one or two of you noticed my lack of posting  )
There's one advantage of working for a doctor, not dealing with appointments.
The downside is I am not doing well with this, having already spent , most of the last year down sick and then having three nice months of health, I know I should be happy but it's the same old feeling when you fail at the Porn, the sinking "here we go again" feeling and it was all for nothing. The bullet to the back of the head in all of this was I used to make my living in this kind of weather in Wyoming just a few short years ago and it is just some else from my past that is just gone.
All of this has led to depression, the temptations heavier than normal, the deep thinking about my walk with Jesus, not all of it constructive, asking questions that have no answers and having thoughts I shouldn't have, deep depression at times and feeling of strong lust out of the blue every once and a while. I have one pill I need that seems to trigger it for a few minutes when it kicks in (I'm going through that now and I'm on here for a few minutes while that settles in and goes away)
I know I am not in a good place.
I hope that this doesn't just read just as self pity, I am just trying to write honestly where I am at right now, I'm not even saying I am right or wrong on anything, in fact I know I am wrong on parts of it but with the meds, etc it's really hard to stay clear headed and not get lost. In fact the one pill is kicking in as I finish it and I hope it's readable.
I just ask for prayer, a clear head and to get through Friday safe (and for my wife who as to drive in this stuff to haul me around)
Thanks
Art
Last edited on Fri Feb 16th, 2007 05:54 am by APR
____________________
I am the way and truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through Me.
-John 14:6
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mad and sad
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Posted: Fri Feb 16th, 2007 07:59 am |
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what meds are you taking? I'm sure you'll be okay. just do not get mad at your wife. I don't know your situation, but what meds are you taking? I've been wondering about drugs for the last few days.
I want my husband to take drugs to lower his libido. did you respond to this? I do not want to lose what I love about him though. I just want him to stop looking at girls with that dirty look in his eyes. I want him to stop trying to cheat on me.
I know he doesn't go looking for it(aparently he does; I've seen it and i've caught him) I just want him to stop.
I hope your okay! how is your wife? Maybe you should think of the snow as a moral obstacle-clear the snow clear your mind-do you want to kick my ass yet?
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Bill
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Posted: Fri Feb 16th, 2007 02:08 pm |
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Good morning ART,
Man, I hope yopu had a good and restful night. I am praying for you right now to have a good day and a better weekend.
Thank you for all the time you have answered my post. You mean a lot to me and I truly do appreciate you.
Yours in Christ
Billy
Day 18 Thank you Lord
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APR
Member
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Posted: Fri Feb 16th, 2007 06:52 pm |
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Hi there, a fast update.
Spent the morning in the hospital due to not being able to breathe again about 5 this morning, got some more meds (Up to about 7 now..)
Eating some lunch before crawling back to bed.
I wanted to say as fast thank you for the prayers
Art
ps, mad and sad,
The meds I am talking about are for Asthma and other things I deal with (I don't know anything about libido reducing drugs, sorry)
____________________
I am the way and truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through Me.
-John 14:6
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APR
Member
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Posted: Sat Feb 17th, 2007 11:38 am |
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I just wanted to thank everyone again, I am in much better place now, still sick but doing much better. Sorry about he rant in the first post but sometimes I get frustrated with my health. God has about beat me to death with this issue and I just can't accept some days that my body is just shot physically. I know He's using that to break me (and save me) as I have always been very prideful about my body in a quiet way. (sort of I would never talk about it but when I worked in the sawmill if you worked next to me and stacked two skids of lumber, I was going to stack three..my bosses loved me but my body didn't) I realize now that I was doing the same thing as I did in my addiction, I buried myself in my work and I loved my work more than I loved Him and he took it from me. Of course He took it from me to save my life (spiritually) but there are days I refuse to see it, how ungrateful is that on my part?Very much so.
Like I said, I would be recanting some of the things I said. The key is to just let it go when it happens, I'm getting there but not soon enough.
Mad and sad: I meant to answer your other question earlier today, sorry about that, I am blessed with a very supporting wife. She is doing very well (thanks for asking, she is here with me on all of this) we have our moments of conflict like most married people but it's always over details of life (budget, family, etc) and we never let it get in the way. She's always been behind me and I know the Lord put her in my life (Meeting and getting together for us was almost fairy tale like and neither of us could see how it happened except through the hand of the Lord) and I am behind her in some challenges she is going through.
Thanks again and God Bless!
Art
____________________
I am the way and truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through Me.
-John 14:6
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guitarist63
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Posted: Tue Feb 20th, 2007 11:38 pm |
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Hey Art, I'll be praying for you with all the other guys here. God bless you. Stephen
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APR
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Posted: Tue Feb 20th, 2007 11:57 pm |
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Thanks Stephen!
Today is sort of better. We both came down with the stomach flu again on top of everything but that's okay. Despite both of us feeling like death, we both have been talking about having time off and it's been all day of lying around in bed taking mes and just talking and relaxing and despite the crud, feeling really close. It was almost worth catching this bug.
My mind is get it all done at once.
Thanks again and God Bless
Art
____________________
I am the way and truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through Me.
-John 14:6
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geeky_student
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Posted: Fri Mar 9th, 2007 04:56 am |
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I hope you all feel better now
Stomach flu is not fun *_*
Well, bring to God small things like this or even smaller things, however small. He cares
anything you would like me to pray for you about?
____________________
For God, for her, for my parents, for own good.
tip: when tempted, think of God, think of that special someone you love.
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guitarist63
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Posted: Mon Mar 12th, 2007 10:40 pm |
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Hey, Art. You're in my daily prayers and look forward to hearing any update of your health and progress in your journey to complete recovery. I am taking a break from posting at the forum for a month, unless persuaded otherwise. I am not over my own addiction yet and don't feel able at the moment to advise or encourage others until that has been achieved. Stephen.
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guitarist63
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Posted: Fri Mar 23rd, 2007 08:32 pm |
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Hey Art, it's been more than a month since your last post and have been praying for you. I do hope that your Asthma symptoms are improving and you are able to return to work. God bless you. Stephen
2 April 2007. My concern for your health and circumstances continue and so do my prayers, Art. God bless you. Stephen
11 April 2007. Very concerned for you, Art and continuing to pray.
Last edited on Wed Apr 11th, 2007 11:11 pm by guitarist63
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