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gaylon
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Posted: Wed Jan 10th, 2007 01:22 am |
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I'm doing a class about porn addiction for men in nine different congregations of our church. I'm in a significant local lay leadership position (which I asked to step down from, given my "recovering porn addict" status, but was asked to stay). I am aching to let these men know that "I know that close to 1/2 of you are addicted. I've been there, and there's hope". However my lay leader says not to say anything, since it would be an embarrassment for the church. Same for the addiction recovery support group that I'm starting up for church members in our city. I really want to participate as a recovering person, instead of as the "esteemed leader" ...
Please pray that I'll know the right way, and the right timing to disclose my own sex addiction, and the journey to recovery, to the men in our church who need it, and how to work with my lay leader so he'll be ok with it all.
Thanks,
--- Gaylon V.
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Joel2:25
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Posted: Wed Jan 10th, 2007 01:45 pm |
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*spitting nails on your behalf*
Do these people in your church know how much easier it would be for a man to open up to another man that's been there?
The darkness must come out into the light as far as I'm concerned. Perhaps you could the verse (I am paraphrasing too lazy to look up the scripture word for word) ... Simon Simon Satan has desired to sift you like wheat. And after you have turned back, use it to strengthen your brother. (Something along those lines, LOL). This is such a godly opportunity to use the *past* darkness to provide light for those suffering.
Can you tell this gets me going? Agh. Will be praying.
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gaylon
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Posted: Wed Jan 10th, 2007 02:41 pm |
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Joel2:25 wrote: *spitting nails on your behalf*
....Will be praying.
Thanks... means a lot to me... So few people to really talk to in person, who understand...
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Gettinbetter
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Posted: Wed Jan 10th, 2007 03:47 pm |
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Gaylon,
I am saddened by the approach your lay leader is taking. But it is all too common. I too tried to get my pastor to address this isssue and hit a stone wall. I was talking to a good friend about this last night. After I had given him the statistics on sexual sin in the church I asked how many sermons he's heard in the last 10 years on the subject. His answer; none! I know our pastor has talked about sexual purity, but taking an honest look at the men and women in the church and calling them out has never happened.
When I told him the statistics, all I heard was silence. I don't think he believed me. I am going to take one more run at this with him, and then I will probably just start something on my own.
I will pray for you and your situation.
Thanks, for filling us in.
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TimM
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Posted: Wed Jan 10th, 2007 08:38 pm |
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As usual, I'm on your side, gaylon.
Would it be possible to do some sort of compromise? Teach the class as a neutral expert, but announce that there will be a support group forming for people who struggle with this addiction. Then, in the support group, when you are only dealing with addicts, you can be open about your own history. You don't even need to announce in advance that you are part of the support group.
In that way, you're not "coming out" in front of people who are likely to cause scandal by gossiping, and you are able to offer ministry to the addicts who are unlikely to say to others, "Gee, I was shocked to see gaylon at our sex addicts' support group last week."
Another option might be to propose that your ministry be focused on SA recovery, so that you can't cause scandal by, for instance, teaching church school while openly acknowledging your sex addiction. In that case, could you be open?
At bottom, of course, I thought we were supposed to be set free by the truth and to confess our sins to one another. I'd like to think commands like that even apply in the church, but maybe I'm just being silly. 
Tim M.
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gaylon
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Posted: Wed Jan 10th, 2007 09:29 pm |
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Thanks for all the feedback. It is very helpful. Tim - I think that would be a great compromise. And, I think when I'm speaking passionately on the subject to the group, the ones who are addicted will probably have to think - "hmmm, sounds like he might have been there before...".
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SomeGuy
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Posted: Wed Jan 17th, 2007 02:19 pm |
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Go with God my brother.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
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Freedman
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Posted: Tue Apr 10th, 2007 07:54 am |
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I was a deacon in the church. But I fell and let the dragon take me down. But by the grace of GOD I am free now. Even though my sin was very costly I am now putting on the armour to fight this sin in my local community. I am talking with my pastor and several men at the church I attend now. Very few ministers will stand up on this issue. I believe that it is going to be up to us, those who have won the fight, to take it further and speak out on it.
I pray that God will raise up men who are ready and willing to stand up and speak the truth.
My sin cost me dearly, it cost me my marriage and now I can not be a part of the life of a child whom we believe that God brought to us. We were soon to adopt her when my problem became known.
Men, it is up to us. Reach out to others, be ashamed of what you have done. But dont be ashamed to Stand up for the purity of our homes, our churches and our children.
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