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stillstruggling
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| Joined: | Mon Mar 20th, 2006 |
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Posted: Tue Mar 21st, 2006 01:04 am |
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I have been addicted to sex for more years then I can remember.I was molested
when I very young by three different older boys and a man none my family.They
introduced me to masturbation,and after 45 years I still struggle to get free from
it.I can't begin to tell you how hellish my life has been.The abuse has caused me
so much heartache its a wonder I'm still alive.I accepted Jesus into my life when I
was 14 and its been by only His great Love,Grace and forgivingness and mercy
I'm not dead or in jail.To this point in my life God has set me free from my past and
all the sins and garbage.I used to be addicted to porn but no more.I have tried
masturbating wihile keeping my mind clear of all thoughts but you always go
back to the old thoughts or pictures in your mind, and lust.I still hate myself at times
and just want this thing once and for all gone so I can live pure and clean and make
God proud of me again.I suffer from bad panic attacks and take meds from my doctor
but they only mask the problem.Please pray for me.I lost my wife 4 years ago and
live alone foe the first time in 33 years,enough is enough.
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captivated
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| Joined: | Thu Oct 20th, 2005 |
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Posted: Tue Mar 21st, 2006 12:19 pm |
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Prayed for you, still struggling!  Do you have any support groups? Are you able to try counseling with a counselor experienced with sex addiction, etc....?
captivated
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stillstruggling
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Posted: Fri Mar 31st, 2006 04:26 am |
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No I have no support whatsoever.Only the Lord.There are no christian counselors
in my area.I have tried many others in the past when I lived in a big city many miles
form my home that always seem to loose interest in me over time.I just don't
trust counselors anymore.
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guitarist63
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| Joined: | Mon Feb 12th, 2007 |
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Posted: Mon Feb 19th, 2007 10:35 pm |
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Still Struggling, I only recently joined blazinggrace so I have missed your post last year. I really feel for you with all the abuse you've suffered and pray for you. I pray the Lord heals your deep hurts. He loves you - don't forget that - and knows what terrible times you have been through. Take comfort in Him - he's gentle and understanding and compassionate and wants to see you completely delivered. He's always got time for you - any time you call. Stephen.
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journeyofmine_
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| Joined: | Thu Jun 22nd, 2006 |
| Location: | Alberta Canada |
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Posted: Thu Mar 22nd, 2007 03:43 am |
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Stillstruggling,
I relate to you and feel for you. I am still with my partner, but our relationship, and she holds on by a thread. An ever thinning thread. I have been in recovery for over 2 years, and have started and stopped recovery activities. Only by the grace of God have I remained sexually sober. I have begun recovery again, and in a more complete way. I pray that I will not slack off again, and that I will work on it wholeheartedly as I never did before.
I will tell you this. I am very sorry you have lost your wife. I know if I lose my partner and end up having to live away from my son and stepkids that I will lose the only really great things I've ever had in my life. I also know that it will have been my failing. I know that God will and has helped me when I accepted his help.
I know this sounds like it's about me, but the reason for the background is this: I pray that you are always involved in recovery. I pray that you do this for yourself, and for any future parnter you may have. I pray that you don't have spells where you turn away from recovery, but if you do know that it is always even better coming back. God will help you when you accept it, and everytime you accept it.
I pray that you find the recovery and help you are looking for.
I would also like to ask that people pray for me in my struggle and also for my partner. That I may remain in recovery, that she can find a way to heal, and that we can heal our relationship. Thank you
journeyofmine_
____________________
It's not the destination, but the journey that matters.
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guitarist63
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Posted: Thu Mar 22nd, 2007 11:02 pm |
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Still Struggling and Journeyofmine - praying for you both. I hope you can find some person or persons to confide in that you can trust where you are, Still Struggling. I also get panic attacks, so I appreciate your problem, although I am not on any meds for it - yet. Blessings, Stephen.
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Tears4Us
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Posted: Fri Mar 23rd, 2007 12:53 am |
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| Praying here....
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gaylon
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Posted: Fri Mar 23rd, 2007 01:14 am |
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StillStruggling, just when I'm having a hard time myself, I see someone else with challenges that I can't imagine how I'd handle, and realize how good I have it. Praying for you... I can remember when I was first getting counseling that I'd often wake up in terror, feeling like I was falling into darkness, and sometimes break into tears (not like me) uncontrollably for a few minutes. I'm sure that's not as bad as the panic attacks you experience, but it does give me some point of reference. And, my counselor would just say "that sounds pretty normal for what you're going through", which used to torque me off ;-) Lately I've just been having bouts of depression, that I have a hard time shaking off. I hope things start looking up for you soon, and pray the hand of the Lord to lift you up.
--- Gaylon V.
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