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erindawws
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| Joined: | Tue Sep 12th, 2006 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 8 |
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Posted: Tue Sep 12th, 2006 10:06 pm |
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Hello,
this is kinda hard for me to admit, but I became a sex addict about a year or 2 ago. I had started viewing porn when I was about 12-14, because my parents and I had never had a sex talk and I wanted to know how everything worked. Well, that of course led to where I am now.
I don't want to do what I am doing and I have been going strong for a few months now, but just this past week I've started thinking about this sin, and whenever I think about it I find myself at the computer, viewing pornography.
I have a strong church group with friends and family, but I feel too embarrased to talk to them, because I feel so unclean. I have promised myself and the Lord that I would stop viewing pornography and masturbating, but (to my dissapointment, as well as to the Lord) I break that promise within 3 months.
Does anyone have advice on what to do when I start to dwell on pornography and find myself wanting to sit down at the computer? I don't know if my will is strong enough, and I have asked the Lord for help, but I still can't overcome this addiction. If anyone has any advice I'd really appreciate it!
Erin
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truthseeker
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| Joined: | Tue May 16th, 2006 |
| Location: | New Jersey USA |
| Posts: | 795 |
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Posted: Wed Sep 13th, 2006 04:53 am |
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Hi Erin,
I'm not sure if I'll be much help, but I'll try. It is wonderful that you are taking this matter seriously, because gaining victory over it while you are young
will spare you and your future husband much heartache in the future. You might start by praying about the man that God has for your future. Consider that in order to give yourself completely to him when you are married, to be one flesh, that you will not want this between the two of you.
Before I suggest some more tangible ideas, I would like to draw your attention to a verse that I wish I had memorized in my teens, 1 Cor. 10:13. "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so you can stand up under it." This is a difficult passage, because it tells us in no uncertain terms that we can always escape temptation. God makes it possible, but we must do our part. As you can tell from reading in this forum, this is much more easily said than done.
How is your relationship with your parents? I am a bit surprised that they are not using any filtering software, but if your relationship is close, you might be able to mention it, perhaps without going in to all the details, a general comment about how easy it is to stumble across inappropriate content, even when doing innocent searches.
Here are some other things to do, but you will have to choose to do them, or others that you think of.
Grab your bible and read/pray.
Get one of those colorful rubber band type bracelets and snap it enough to sting and remind you not to go there.
Go for a walk, or do some other type of exercise.
Call a friend, even if you do not share about your struggle.
Engage in a hobby, music, crafts, etc. If the web is your main hobby, it might be time to try something new.
Try playing Christian music, either CD or radio.
Perhaps you could fill some spare time volunteering at the library, helping the elderly or disabled, etc.
Or maybe a part time job?
Heavenly Father, I pray that you will make ways of escape clear to Erin. Draw her closer and closer to you, through her Bible reading and prayer time, and christian mentors. Help her to know with whom she can share this struggle who will be compassionate but firm in accountability. Most of all, reassure her of your love and forgiveness as she seeks You. In Jesus' name, amen.
If you have not yet found someone who can answer questions about growing up from a biblical perspective, feel free to message me and I will do the best I can. If you find that none of these things help, I would urge you to seek outside help from a family member, your youth pastor's wife, or another christian young woman whom you can trust.
God bless,
TruthSeeker
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erindawws
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| Joined: | Tue Sep 12th, 2006 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 8 |
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Posted: Wed Sep 13th, 2006 05:54 am |
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Thank You for your advice. I'll have to try them!
as for the internet filter, my parents found out that I was viewing pornography within the first few weeks. since then I have had to earn their trust and I don't want to lose it again. I am completely willing to put an internet filter on my computer. I did a search and found some and tried them, but they blocked me from my e-mail and content that was perfectly fine when I entered the website on my parents' computer. Do you have any that you recommend?
Again, thanks for your advice!
Erin
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truthseeker
Super Moderator
| Joined: | Tue May 16th, 2006 |
| Location: | New Jersey USA |
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Posted: Wed Sep 13th, 2006 06:39 pm |
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Hi Erin,
We have SafeEyes on our PC, but it only has a free trial, then an annual subscription fee. It is highly configurable, and allows an e-mail address for an accountability partner. It stays in the system tray, so it would be obvious that you are running it.
I tried another one, I think it was x3watch, but I think that was a trial also. It does not block anything, but sends suspicious sites to an accountability e-mail address that you provide, and I'm not sure how discerning it was. If you'd like me to be an e-mail buddy for that purpose, PM me and I'll share an address.
Okay, as we say around our house, shields up, 'cause this may step on toes. You know that pretending to have your parents' trust is lying to yourself, because not only are you continuing to view porn, but are apparently adept at covering your tracks. And I'm disappointed that your parents have not maintained blocking software. (End of parent mode.) :-)
I understand that you are struggling, and that it is an added burden to think of disappointing your parents. I hope, however, that if trying every other way does not help, that you would see admitting to breaking their trust as less upsetting than not having victory over this issue.
Still praying...
TruthSeeker
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