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blonderachie
Member
| Joined: | Wed Oct 12th, 2005 |
| Location: | Tucson, Arizona USA |
| Posts: | 25 |
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Offline
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| Mana: |    |
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Posted: Wed Oct 12th, 2005 08:13 pm |
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| I have already stated my story. I have always been faithful to my husband of 7-1/2yrs and honestly never even look at other guys. Since he came out with his porn and masturbation addiction of 4 years, I have started to look at other men. I have always trusted my husband that he was not looking at other women. I am actually the one who checks women out and points them out to him. I really believed that he was not looking. Well, obviously he was if he has been looking at porn. Could this be a way that I am trying to get back at him sub-consciencely? I just can't think of anything else. Why else would this have changed so drastically?
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mike
Administrator
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Posted: Fri Oct 14th, 2005 02:46 pm |
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I'll respond to both of your topics here.
Going back to your story posted on the other topic, it looks like your marriage has been corrupted with lust/porn from the start, and it's become a coping mechanism for you, as well as your husband.
I'm hearing that you're dealing with the pain of knowing your husband has been committing adultery with other women via porn and masturbation by dealing with it with lust in your own way. When he isn't going all out, as you mentioned in the other post, then it sounds like it hits an insecurity button of yours - which you are dealing with by acting out.
Both of you, individually, need to take the actions necessary to deal with lust and the emptiness you've been trying to fill with sex, (and need to fill with God), and the marriage also needs to heal. You should both be getting accountability partners. He with other men, you with other women.
The marriage also needs cleaning up and healing. Together, you should consider setting boundaries for your home to remove any temptations. Start praying together at night, asking God to cleanse your marriage, and each of you individually.
As always, the root cause of sex addiction is an empty heart that's seeking for God in lust. Seek God individually, and together in your marriage, and make Him first in your life.
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