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Lost_75
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| Joined: | Wed Apr 25th, 2007 |
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Posted: Thu Apr 26th, 2007 03:25 pm |
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I have a question about the use of this product Covenent eyes, Will my husband know it is on the computer, I am looking for something that he will not know is on the computer. Is there such a thing?
I am new to this and just wondered how that product works and if you use it? And do you have to purchase a filter seperatly?
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Unearthed
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| Joined: | Tue Apr 17th, 2007 |
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Posted: Thu Apr 26th, 2007 05:51 pm |
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HI,
When I first found evidence of porn on our computers, I had my husband install that program. And yes, he will know it is there...that is the whole point of it, plus you have to choose people who will be notified if he goes to certain sites.
Then I got to thinking about the repeated facts that are posted in this forum about the nature of lust. It is the symptom of an unfaithful heart, which is the core problem of someone who would venture to those sites. At least that is what is preached about Christian men who do this. Unfaithful to God and if they are married, unfaithful to their spouse as well.
I have asked my husband to get a new computer since there is so much porn stored on the harddrive and since I cannot always tell when these sites were visited if I drag any of it up. The reason I am doing it that way, is because I want to know if he continues to go there after swearing he wont. I want him to know that I know, and I want him to feel totally responsible and accountable for his own actions, not being restricted by me or any other external forces, but by the power of the Holy Spirit and his own commitment to our marriage and relationship. This would insure me that I have a husband who understands his responsibilities to God and to myself and to our family. If we dont mean anything more to him than the thrill he gets while viewing porn, then I no longer want him as my husband.
The only trouble I am running into is that there is a thing called "systems mechanic" on computers which will apparently erase the hard drive for the web sites specified. I have a friend who is going to let me know if and how to get around that or at least if he is utilizing that option.
I am not going to try to stop my husband from viewing porn anymore than from flirting and cheating on me with someone. Dont you think that he will have other avenues of indulgences such as movies, magazines, and loose women? How am I going to control everything, that would be a full time job? I do however, want to know if he does any of those things so that I can choose if I want to continue my life with him. I hate sneaking around to see what he is doing, I dont want to live that way, and it is up to him to build trust, not up to me to be the guardian of his virtue.
Just my thoughts...I know many people who are addicted on this site who would disagree but I feel that it puts responsibility on someone other than on the person who is supposed to control themselves, especially against something so destructive. I feel that "addiction" is just a fancy word for someone who loves their sin more than God, themselves or others.
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junkyardboy
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Posted: Thu Apr 26th, 2007 06:41 pm |
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unearthed said
"I feel that "addiction" is just a fancy word for someone who loves their sin more than God, themselves or others."
and all of God's people said "amen"
peter
____________________
have we been abandoned by God?
http://www.apprising.org/archives/2006/11/dr_john_macarth.html
http://www.valleybible.net/position_papers.php
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Unearthed
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Posted: Thu Apr 26th, 2007 11:18 pm |
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Peter,
I am having a hard time wanting to stay with my husband. We are in our early fifties (married less than a year, but heavily invested) and he being a Christian and very intelligent can spin verbal circles about this problem. After a while, I feel like it is more my problem than his and I feel guilty for needing to talk to him about it. My life is a shambles, I am nearly nonfunctional, I dont know what God wants me to do, and mostly, I am afraid because its not just porn, but his whole view and flirtatious nature with women. We own a jewerly store and most of our customers are women, he likes to get them into conversation...some of them are vulnerable and very responsive to his soothing voice. He says he wants moral purity, yet denies that porn is wrong except "because of the unseen forces behind it, and the way it affects you". Something is missing ...like his love for the sin it is and remorse. I cant get my head around it.
He wants my love and compassion after he has made me feel unworthy of his. I dont get it.
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