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growingfaith
Member
| Joined: | Thu Feb 1st, 2007 |
| Location: | Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 20 |
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Posted: Wed Apr 18th, 2007 03:59 pm |
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Hello friends. I hit my five month clean date yesterday. My addiction was truly a horrific display of self-centeredness and indifference to the people who loved me the most. Through recovery and growth I've come to realize God has a better plan for me than I could have ever wanted for anybody else.
My wife has just recently (the last month) begun attending couples Al-Anon meetings with me and a Codependents Anonymous meeting. However, she feels that people are unable to completely relate with her as nobody in either of those meetings has had a sex addict for a husband. To that end, she feels uncomfortable sharing and discussing the things I've done - cheat, go to prostitutes, bring women into our home and bed - with anyone else. The only person she really has to talk with is me and that becomes problematic.
At home we do not have internet and she currently doesn't work. So to that extent she has plenty of time to be alone and isolate and dwell on her pain. Recently she's been having lots of thoughts about self-hurt and hurting others (particularly the women she knows I've been sexual with). I definitely don't want either of those things to happen. Our town has no groups for the friends and relatives of sex addicts (as I'm sure is the case many places).
Are there any wives who would be willing to communicate with my wife their stories? It would be best if your husband/boyfriend's addiction went beyond porn/masturbation into actual physical adultery - as that is what pains her the most. I am asking for the opportunity to give someone my wife's cell phone number so that the two of you could have at least one phone call together to see if it would help my wife identify with someone else's grief. If so, please email us at bgmbc2006@yahoo.com. That is our joint email account that she has as much access to as myself. I would respect all boundaries and allow your communication with her to be as confidential as my communication with my sponsor.
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truthseeker
Super Moderator
| Joined: | Tue May 16th, 2006 |
| Location: | New Jersey USA |
| Posts: | 846 |
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Posted: Wed Apr 18th, 2007 04:53 pm |
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Hi growingfaith,
If you do not have internet at home, how does she have as much access to the e-mail as you do? If she has acces to the e-mail, she has access to BG.
TruthSeeker
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growingfaith
Member
| Joined: | Thu Feb 1st, 2007 |
| Location: | Michigan USA |
| Posts: | 20 |
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Posted: Wed Apr 18th, 2007 04:59 pm |
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My wife has a laptop computer that she often takes to the local coffeeshop with wireless internet. She also goes to her parents house or the local library to get internet access. By equal access I meant that we both have the password to that email account.
My point is that (a) she knows I was asking on this forum for a trusted friend for her and (b) that I would respect her and the trusted friend's privacy, but (c) because internet access is at a location other than home, email or instant messaging isn't going to be very convenient for her.
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Suzi
Member
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Posted: Fri Apr 20th, 2007 06:23 pm |
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Growing Faith,
I would be glad to email your wife and possibly eventually do the phone thing. For me, personally, though, I am much better at writing or face to face than I am over the phone. (I HATE talking on the phone! LOL!)
If your wife does want to correspond with me, I personally think it would be better to have her set up a separate email account, like Yahoo or Hotmail, something that is web-based and separate from your joint account.
I have done the phone thing with other wives before, but it usually works best after an email friendship is already established.
And yes, I have dealt with infidelity (multiples). Isolation is a very difficult thing. I find the busier I can keep my mind, the better off I am.
I also recommend that you two pray for a godly woman for her to meet with face to face. Someone who will pray with her and for her.
I will respond to your email address and give you my email address. After that point, I will only respond to responses from her.
Suzi
____________________
Psa 107:20 He sent his word, and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions.
Luke 6:46 And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?
Psa 119:37 Turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity; and quicken thou me in thy way.
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