ermmm.........addicted~! cant keep off it!!!
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9206aaron
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  Posted: Sat Mar 3rd, 2007 12:33 pm
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hey my name is aaron i am from england, (leeds to be correct)!

i have alo of home problems and stuff, but i just am addicted to sex and cant kee off it, i no it is wrong and i do feel guilty!! but its so hard not to do it, i no jesus loves us and gods grace can reach out to us, but i want to stop this!

i go to church, and some friends no that i look at porn, which isnt great! but is this just a thing with being young?! does it get easier as you get older?!

i would appreciate any advice on what to do, by meone older and wiser!! but hey, i will have advice from anyone, thanks alot

azz
Bill
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  Posted: Sat Mar 3rd, 2007 03:32 pm
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Hello Aaron.  My name is Billy. Wlecome to this site.  This is a good step to take for help. Here you will find people in all stages of recovery from sex addiction.

You sound like you are pretty young. That is good that you have recongnized your problem at an early age. For me, I am 60 and have been doing this since I was about 14. Just within the last month or so have I admitted to having an addiction problem and wanting help. coming on this site is my first step in recovery. This is the only accountability partner I have. Everyone on here are very helpful and want to help each other. We all pray for and encourage each other. Yes and when one of us fall then we are here to help.

You ask if it gets easier as you get older.  Well there is 2 answers to that question. Yes it get easier. Every day that  you look at porn or masterbate it will be easier to do it the next time. This of course is what we don't want to do. No it get harder. Every day that goes by with you doing this it is so much harder to stop. It will get so ingrained in your mind that that is all you will think about. It will get so that you will hate yourself for doing it and every time you get your release from it you will swear that will be your last time and then it will be no time until you are right back doing it again. Your sexual addiction will be in total control of your life. The only way to stop this is with the help of our Lord Jesus Christ. If you will turn to Him He will be there with open arms to receive you.

Aaron, please whatever you do you need to get help with this right now. Please don't wait and end up wasting your whole life on this addiction. I don't know a lot but I do know that SA will destory you and yout relationship with people that are close to you.

Thanks again for coming on here

Your in Christ,

Billy

day  33 of the rest of my life.
9206aaron
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  Posted: Sat Mar 3rd, 2007 07:57 pm
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hey thanks for ur reply, i will take steps and thanks for all the advice!!

uve certainly done the right thing coming to this site,

i am certain to take your advice and will pray for you

god bless azz

 
P2J
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  Posted: Sun Mar 4th, 2007 02:07 am
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Hi 9206aaron,

Just like to add to Bill's comment that you're a brave guy as well.

There is some info on this site about the "compassion paradox" that I found interesting...

When you pluck up the courage to expose what you know is your greatest weakness (in our case the inability to control our sexual urge) and reveal it to someone expecting rejection, mocking and condemnation, but then actually receive compassion, understanding, and encouragement, we somehow build up our compassion reservoir.

This enables us to redistribute compassion to others and even to ourselves (sometimes we need to forgive ourselves).

Good to have you here.
9206aaron
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  Posted: Sun Mar 4th, 2007 09:00 am
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thanks alot,

good to hear some encouragement!!!

god bless
gaylon
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  Posted: Tue Mar 6th, 2007 01:51 am
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Yo young dude ;-)  (that comment ought to date me :-)

Regards your question : "does it get easier as you get older?!"

The answer is "no".  Maybe the hormones aren't raging as hard as when I was a teen or early 20's, but the drive is still alive and kickin' at 53.  And, the thing that really makes it "not easier", is that the habit, engaged in over a period of years, becomes more firmly entrenched, and harder to leave behind, for every year that passes.  Really, really hard.

However old (young) you are now, right now is the best and perfect time to work thru this, and overcome...

Hang in there,
--- Gaylon V.
9206aaron
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  Posted: Tue Mar 6th, 2007 10:22 am
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thanks there!!!

so in terms of masturbation is that wrong?! i mean i dont thnk it is, but what does god think?!

u sound very wise :P so you might no?!

thanks azz
truthseeker
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  Posted: Tue Mar 6th, 2007 02:28 pm
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Hi Aaron,

If you have not yet read Mike's article about masturbation, you can find it here.

http://www.blazinggrace.org/masturbation.htm

Praying for you...

TruthSeeker
9206aaron
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  Posted: Tue Mar 6th, 2007 10:51 pm
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went on porn tonite and chat rooms, feel ashamed, i might get rid of my computer, than at least the chance will be taken away!!

its so diffecult!!! argghgghhhhhhhhhhhh, needed to tel sum1 :D

thanks az,z pray for me maybe :D
gaylon
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  Posted: Tue Mar 6th, 2007 11:47 pm
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Aaron, the article that TruthSeeker references pretty well explains, using scripture, God's desires for us concerning sexual purity, including masturbation.  Even though most of western culture thinks there's nothing wrong with it, we have to figure that God knows better what's good for us than even 500 million people who might disagree with Him - yah?

You could consider counseling, by a Christian sex addiction counselor;  also, finding someone close to you to be accountable to (parents, clergy leader, for example).

The thing that helped me most in the beginning was the counseling, but it's different for different people.  A counselor will help you recognize what your "triggers" to do p and m are, and how to cut off the pattern that takes you into it long before you actually do it.  And lots of other things.  I really hope you decide to take the hard steps now.  Otherwise, you will very likely find yourself 30 years down the road still masturbating and looking at pornography (and possibly much worse) -- as you can read in many postings on this forum.  You're at a great age to conquer this, and it will free up your spiritual and physical powers to accomplish great things for yourself and many other people.

Praying for you -- Gaylon V.
Raven34
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  Posted: Wed Mar 14th, 2007 02:43 am
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Aaron,

Your question on masturbation is interesting.

Mike's article on masturbation also makes for interesting reading but I have a few reservations.

For example if sex is only for the marriage bed is sex in another bed/motor car/beach unacceptable or is it ok so long as it is with spouse?  I think God would allow us a bonk on the beach.  Talking of bonk is that acceptable to God or should we use a more PC word?

I also have a question on masturbation - a confession actually.  My wife masturbates me, and I her, and we both enjoy it.  Is that considered self gratification or is it in any way against the Bible?  I hope not.

The figures quoted for men masturbating may seem astonishing and if it was simply for self gratification they may well be.  But how many men/women masturbate because their spouse is unavailable for one reason or another?  How many masturbations have stopped men from visiting prostitutes?

I think each individual needs to be considered as such, not every body has the same reason for wanking.  As a Christian I do not feel any guilt for my or my wife's acts.  I would be happy to have some enlightenment on this.

Wishing you well and praying for you with your PA problem.
truthseeker
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  Posted: Wed Mar 14th, 2007 06:22 am
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Hi Raven34,

Just my take on things, but I am guessing that "marriage bed" is used generically to mean limiting sexual relations to being between husband and wife.  It doesn't really make sense to abstain while traveling, does it?  Giving mutual pleasure, I would think, would be considered foreplay, perhaps?

TruthSeeker
Raven34
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  Posted: Wed Mar 14th, 2007 09:29 am
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Hi Truthseeker,

My thoughts exactly sometimes we can translate too literally or translate to suit our own thoughts/beliefs/interpretations.

I don't know anywhere where masturbation is specifically mentioned in the Bible so can we assume that mention of "self" means that?

I am not so sure.  Impure thoughts could be as bad as impure acts but then is thinking murder the same as committing it?
truthseeker
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  Posted: Wed Mar 14th, 2007 12:40 pm
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Matthew chapter 5 speaks a lot about how the attitudes of the heart are equal to the deed.  I'm not sure that the question should be "how close can I come without sinning," but rather "How can I most closely exemplify God's perfect will in my life?"

TruthSeeker

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