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holdsworth
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Posted: Sat Aug 5th, 2006 02:47 pm |
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I am writing this due to the fact that I know now that I have genuinly not been able to get past the stage that marathon runners call 'hitting the wall'. The point in the race where your body is hurting and it seems like you cannot go on any further.
with addictive behaviour and the will to be free comes a learning and new ways of having to look at your life, challenges, dissapointments, the way God sees you, faith etc, etc.
When soaking up lustful images I do not face life as a man, I get sidetracked and caught in a cycle that seems impossible to get out of.
It seems that at some point in freedom comes a very, very real longing for comfort and security...a deep longing that is indescribable. For me this can happen after afew days, weeks or months. recently I have not made it past a week, despite seeking accountibility, prayer and SCF course.
I keep hitting the wall and rather than trusting that I can make it, have given in to my thoughts.
I would like to ask people of their experiences of this 'hitting the wall' and if they have got through it or not. Have you been through an intense period of vuneribility and anxiety when free for afew days?. Did the temptations seem more desirable than dealing with reality?
For those who are single, do you find that sometimes you hear a little voice tell you that because you are called to be celibate till marriage you need an outlet to deal with this?
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truthseeker
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Posted: Sun Aug 13th, 2006 01:53 am |
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Sorry I cannot answer any of your questions, but I am praying for you.
TruthSeeker
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Steve
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Posted: Sun Aug 13th, 2006 02:35 am |
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Speaking for myself, all I can say is, when I was at that point where I could not go on any further and had "hit my wall" with my recovery, it was then that God and my brothers in group helped carry me.
Sobriety is a gift from God.
____________________
"Isolation is bad for any man, but for the sexual addict it is fatal." -Russell Willingham
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holdsworth
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Posted: Sun Aug 13th, 2006 05:03 pm |
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Cheers for replies.
I know for sure that Gods grace has kept me going and not giving up in a quest for a pure heart and mind not full of lust. but old habits die hard, I suppose I have to remember that my habits died when jesus did and he has given me a different way to live despite the difficulty in adjusting.
I had a look at the forum over at xxxchurch and I suppose it is no suprise that thread after thread shows more and more people completely stuck and caught up in this thing.
I am starting to feel more and more that on a practical level something needs to be done to the way that adult material is made available on the internet. In short, you should not be able to switch on a computer in your own home and find stuff that can be as addictive as crack cocaine. You should not have to go to all the trouble of filtering out these things.
If i paid a local shop to provide me with healthy groceries I would be really put out if their food was full of chemicals and harmful substances.
Surely the internet should be more regulated than it is? There is free speech and there is simple responsibility.
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