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Tears4Us
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Posted: Thu Jul 20th, 2006 10:22 pm |
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Tears, I praise the Lord your husband is doing what he needs to do! I'm telling you, when a guy just starts "getting real" with people in his real life and takes on the many disciples of recovery, I've seen freedom can come fairly quickly. Perhaps you could start another thread about this, but I'd be interested in learning about the ways your husband has changed on a deeper level with regards to his attitude, his heart, his habits and his ways he communicates with you.
Steve asked above in another thread if I would start a thread on my husbands road to recovery. So here goes. I will do my best....
Hummm where to start........
Let me start by saying I love my husband. I love this man with every fiber of my being. He has an addiction, not drugs or alcohol, but porn is his weakness. We have been together for almost eight years and this has been a problem all eight years. Anyone here with an addiction or is living with a man with this addiction knows the scenario. He acts out, we catch him, we are hurt. He hides it better, he gets caught again, we are hurt deeper still. He hides it even better, he get caught and so on and so on.
For the past year my husband has been on the narrow path to recovery. He started with the book Every Man's Battle. From there he found an accountability partner and for the past few months he has been seeing a consoler that deals with this subject.
Has he fallen in this past year? Yes, but I did not have to catch him. He came out and told me. In the past six months or so he has been more open with me about his addiction. We pray together everyday for freedom from this bondage he is in. I think part of the reason he is so open with me is because I have learned to fight not against flesh and blood, but against the evil that has him bound.
He has his bad mood days and I look at it as part of the process, I guess giving up anything that has been a huge part of your life is hard no matter how bad it is for you. My husband had to reach a place in himself and see what he was doing was wrong. I think that is the biggest obstacle to over come. God allowed him to see that it was not just me he was hurting, but also his daughter and even more so he was hurting Christ. Once it hit him, he knew he had to stop.
He also knows he has been called and he knows that this addiction is only hindering him from what God has for him. Narrow is the path so it says in Matthew 7:13-14 As he says there are a lot of roads that lead to hell that are paved with good intentions. The narrow path is not always easy, but it is the only way and he now sees that.
Here is what he asks me to pray for during my prayer time.
1... That he over come his addiction.
2... That God shield his eyes from evil things. Give me clean hands O, Lord is a song that is sung here a lot.
3...That he can be the spiritual leader of our home.
I do pray these things for him everyday, but what he does not realize is I have been doing so for years.
I stumbled across his prayer list for me one day looking something up in his bible. I could not help but to read. His prayers for me was
1...Thank you for a humble wife, please keep her like that. Do not ever harden her heart
2...Help her to over come the hurt I have caused her and my family and show me Lord how to be the best husband a women could ask for because she deserves it.
3...Keep your hand on her Father, because she is the only you I can see at times.
I sat there and cried. I knew his heart was right. My husband is an awesome man of God, he is just fighting the devil right now, but the good part is he knows he is in a battle and he is learning to suit up.
We were at the store the other night and there was a young girl there half naked. She was no more then 17, strolling along with her dad. My husband says, parents should really watch how they allow their teens to walk around. He said, there was a time I would have loved to looked at that girl, but for some reason I now find that really sad. I just looked at him and said that is God sweetie. He said yep, but the sad part is I have lusted over someone's child and I would kill a man if he lusted over my daughter that way. God is allowing him to see thing more clear.
My husband has came along way and has away's to go, but with God he will get there. He is making the steps. I am proud of him. He is more open, more loving even though there are times I feel he feels awaked loving, but after all he has never loved, only lusted. He is like a teen who falls in love for the first time and he is falling in love with me. Now how cool is that!!!!
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captivated
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Posted: Fri Jul 21st, 2006 03:07 am |
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| WoW! Thanks so much for sharing this with us! You make us feel like we are there, plus encourage us with how to pray for, inspire and encourage our husbands! What a blessing!!!
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