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searching4answers1977
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| Joined: | Mon Mar 10th, 2008 |
| Location: | Ontario Canada |
| Posts: | 6 |
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Posted: Thu Mar 13th, 2008 06:09 am |
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Hello, I was hoping someone could please help me with a delema I am in. I think the man I'm dating is a sex addict and he denies it and says he just loves me very much and that I make him feel that way because I'm beautiful. We have been dating on and off for three years now. The times that I have left him have been justified. He has lied to me on more than one occasion.
I am concerned at this point because we had got into a fight last week about sex. He has asked "why don't you want it anymore?" I said that, that day I didn't feel like it and that I couldn't explain why. He said that there was something wrong with me and that if things continue like this where I am not willing then whats the point in being in a relationship like that. I got very upset and then told him that I did not need his bull and then I was leaving for work and he stopped me and said that he didn't mean it that way and that he was sorry he hurt my feelings.
I work for a company that some times you have to work a whole weekend and some times I don't and when I took time off to go to church he got very upset and yelled at me, that how could I take time off work to go to church for 2 hours and not stay home and spend the time with him. When he is not working driving truck I spend all my time with him. He tells my like 50 times a day he loves me and he mikes me just as much to see what I'm doing. I feel smothered and I really need someone's point of view on this please help!!!!!
____________________
Looking for guidance
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truthseeker
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| Joined: | Tue May 16th, 2006 |
| Location: | New Jersey USA |
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Posted: Thu Mar 13th, 2008 12:34 pm |
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Hi searching4answers1977,
First, lying is a huge red flag.
Second, the question is not why aren't you home with him, but why isn't he at church with you?
Third, why is he expecting sex from you when he has not made the life-long commitment of marriage with you?
If sex, not true intimacy, is all he wants in a relationship, and you want more than that, I would run, not walk, in the other direction and not look back.
TruthSeeker
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Journey
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| Joined: | Mon Jul 16th, 2007 |
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Posted: Thu Mar 13th, 2008 01:28 pm |
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Hello, searching,
Thanks for sharing! Your situation really does sound like a dilemma. I'm sorry that you are having to go thru this. Do you have a personal relationship with God?
I have never been in your shoes, but I would just like to encourage you to trust your own instincts. It sounds like you DO know that he is not treating you right, which means he doesn't know how to love you with unconditional love. Go back and read your post, and pretend it is your sister, or best girlfriend, or daughter who is being smothered and lied to and used by this man, and pretend that they are asking your advice. What would you tell them?
And I agree with truthseeker, why is this guy not in church with you? If he really loved you for who you are, wouldn't he want to take an interest in the things that interest you? How bad are you willing to let things get before you make a change?
Ok, just a few questions for you to think about. Please know you are loved and accepted here.
Journey
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Paulos
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| Joined: | Fri Aug 24th, 2007 |
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Posted: Thu Mar 13th, 2008 03:03 pm |
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searching4answers1977,
When you meet the man who is right for you, you will not be trapped between him and God. He will lead you toward God. The fact that you are trapped now should make it loud and clear that this man is not the right one for you.
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searching4answers1977
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| Joined: | Mon Mar 10th, 2008 |
| Location: | Ontario Canada |
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Posted: Fri Mar 14th, 2008 01:23 am |
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thank you so much for helping me with my delema. I am trying very hard to try and stay with god and its very hard. He doesn't come with me to church because he told me that he does not believe in organised religion. He believe in his own beliefs and he said at first he would respect my dission in going to church till one day i took time off to go because I haven't been because of my job and he yelled at me and said that why would I take time off for church and not time off to see him. well that made me very upset and that is why I am here because I want to feel closer to God and god's people because I know I will need the strenght of many to get away from this man as he is very manipulative. And knows how to make me feel bad and make me stay. And part of me wants to and other part of me doesn't want to stay. So thank you for showing me that everyone is kind and there is still hope out there.
____________________
Looking for guidance
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