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guitarist63
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Posted: Thu May 10th, 2007 10:35 pm |
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I haven't given this subject a lot of throught. There doesn't appear to be another topic with this title on the website, except the article link on the front page, "Healing Father Wounds."
Last edited on Sat Mar 22nd, 2008 03:14 pm by guitarist63
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guitarist63
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Posted: Sun May 20th, 2007 09:09 am |
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I have received a rebuke from God early this morning at 3.00 a.m. while I was asleep. By revealing many intimate details about my relationship with my parents and casting a negative light upon them, I dishonour them. It was very clear to me. When I awoke, immediately I was repenting of it. I had to get on my knees and pray immediately. Also, I prayed for confirmation from His word and I opened the Bible at a random page. Maybe there are some here who regard reading randomly and relying upon that as dangerous. I wouldn't normally use the Bible this way and don't believe it should be the way we typically read it. The verse that my eyes immediately fell on was a section of my study bible entitled
THE COMMANDMENTS
Giving Matt: 22:37, 38, 39, 40
Mark 12:29, 30, 31
Luke 18:20
You know the commandments, "Do not commit adultery, Do not murder, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother." Mark 10:19 (same as Luke)
When God rebukes you, you know it. When He shows you a scripture, not once to correct you, but twice or more - then you really need to pay attention. I have sinned against God and against my parents and incurred His stern rebuke. That is why I have deleted most of the entry in Father Wounds. For many years I had not forgiven my parents in my heart (I have in my head but not the heart) and posting that information here was a sin against God for that reason as well. If we do not forgive others we are not forgiven. Jesus tells us that.
Stephen
Last edited on Thu Jun 14th, 2007 11:09 pm by guitarist63
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clean2day
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Posted: Mon May 21st, 2007 09:13 am |
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Steve
I understand about being rebuked by God. He's "hit me over the head more times than not.....
I also do not think that you are wrong in finding an answer from God by simply opening his word. I don't think or remember when I really asked him for an answer like that to a question. But I have had problems and just opened the Bible and found the answer right in front of me. Some might call it "luckk" or whatever, but to me it is His mighty hand.
The way to find an answer to any question is to ask. If you can't ask then how are you ever to find out. Is this not our Father and does he not want us to have wisdom? King Solomon ask for wisdom and he recieved. I believe that all of us, as his children, all we need to do is ask. It says, "ask and it shall be given unto you...."
C2d
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"When you need a victory, Jesus gives it.
When you need a friend, Jesus will be there.
When you need to talk, Jesus will listen.
And if you need to cry, Jesus will hold you close.
Rev E. O. Hilt 1908 - 1988
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guitarist63
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Posted: Mon May 21st, 2007 07:56 pm |
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Thanks Clean2day for your encouragment. I have spoken with my father since writing and I did make a conscious effort to show love and appreciation of him. I confessed my unforgiveness to my pastor on Sunday. Stephen
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tropicalstorm
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Posted: Tue May 22nd, 2007 12:27 am |
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Two words, totally awesome 
Keep walking in love
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guitarist63
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Posted: Tue May 22nd, 2007 12:40 am |
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Thanks, Tropical Storm. I should take much greater care what I post and think harder before writing. The effect of what we say on others cannot be underestimated. Stephen
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TimM
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Posted: Wed May 23rd, 2007 03:34 am |
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Stephen,
I didn't read the material you deleted, mostly because I have my own share of father wounds and I wanted to read what you wrote at a time when I could be more reflective tham right now. Also, I suppose, it was a matter of avoidance.
I certainly respect your reasons for taking down the material, but I hope you also find a safe and appropriate setting in which to work through how your family has affected you. God looks at us with love and honesty, and I think we can learn to look at others - and even at ourselves - with love and honesty as well.
In the AA Big Book, one of the 9th step promises says, "We will not forget the past, nor wish to shut the door on it." To me at the start of my recovery, that seemed like an impossible promise. I wanted nothing more than to blot out a past of which I was deeply ashamed. Part of learning not to hide in shame and isolation and addiction, though, is learning how to face ourselves with honesty and acceptance and not to die, but to move forward. That promise is real.
I think I have to learn to treat my father in a similar way. I certainly respect his accomplishments in life, and I see that he loved me. At the same time, he, like me, was a flawed man. Probably he was also an addict. Certainly some of the things he did in love and in good faith to help me grow in fact caused me to move in directions that hurt me.
I think a clear vision of my father is important in gaining a clear vision of myself, and I think it is possible to be honest and yet loving, both to my father and to myself.
That vision certainly doesn't have to be shared here - I'm not going to argue with God - but I hope you have some setting in which you can work through the history that shaped you.
Of course, my situation is not the same as yours, if only because my father died almost 30 years ago. Understanding my father and understanding my own memories are therefore very nearly the same task.
Tim M.
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