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sam
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Posted: Thu Nov 15th, 2007 06:47 pm |
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just curious if any of you wanted to share your plans.
this will be my first holiday time without my father. i miss him dearly. my entire family will fly in and spend next week with me. it will be hard because they are so different from me. i am a born again christian but they aren't. they try to pick apart everything i do, looking for me to mess up so they can say "oh, your not supposed to act this way or feel this way because your a christian." it's a lot of pressure. i have told them many times that i am not and can not be perfect, that if i could, then jesus wouldn't have had to die for my sins, but it's like greek to them. i just have to put it in god's hands and ask him to help me be a good witness and just let them see my love for christ and my love for them. i have to admit that the last few times we have been together, the situation has improved and i know it's because he is answering my prayers.
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truthseeker
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Posted: Thu Nov 15th, 2007 07:13 pm |
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Hi Sam,
I prayed for you as you miss your Dad this Thanksgiving, and as you seek to be a faithful testimony to your family. Mine has been gone nearly two years, and lived at such a distance that we didn't get to see each other often. Sometimes it seems like he's been gone longer, other times like it was yesterday. It's crazy the things that can spring those memories.
One of our cats was at the vet with a urinary blockage, and my husband said something about how uncomfortable it must have been for him to have been catheterized. My eyes welled with tears, because the last evening I spent with my dad involved just such a procedure.
I am excited about Thanksgiving. Though my H has to work, (he'll be home for dinner,) our son will be home from his first semester at college 12 hours away. We will also celebrate his birthday while he is home.
Blessings to all,
TruthSeeker
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TimM
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Posted: Fri Nov 16th, 2007 01:03 am |
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We'll be at my mother's house, probably along with my brother and his wife, and possibly with a few students.
I hate to violate the principle of living a day at a time by saying this, but I hope to celebrate on that day 2 years of continuous sobriety. Talk about something to be thankful for! So I am still very much a beginner, but rejoicing in each day.
Tim M.
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Seeking God
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Posted: Fri Nov 16th, 2007 03:05 am |
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Hey Tim! That's greEEEAAAt news!
And what a thanksgiving that you'll give to God for 2 years of freedom!!! I remember locking myself up in the bathroom, crying for 1.5 hours just thanking God for 50 days of freedom... I can't imagine how you'll gonna express yourself for 2 years... dancing on the snow????
Freedom and grace felt so good isn't it?
Last edited on Fri Nov 16th, 2007 03:06 am by Seeking God
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TimM
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Posted: Fri Nov 16th, 2007 11:29 am |
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Dancing in the snow? I hope not in too much of it, though we are having something of a drought, and a few inches of rain now or a few feet of snow later in the winter would be a very welcome blessing. Each time a storm has gone north or south of us over the last few months, I have worried a little more about whether my well will dry up.
One of the big things I hope to be doing this week is cutting and splitting wood. I spent much of the summer in a rather depressed state, and I need badly to get in as much wood as possible now. We often burn in the neighborhood of 10 cubic meters of wood in a winter for heat, mostly just to save some money, reduce use of fossil fuel, and make good use of our forest. We also burn propane for some of our heat.
Tim M.
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decide2love
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Posted: Sat Nov 17th, 2007 11:53 pm |
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My H wants to have rabbit dumplings this t-giving. Without the kids - and to stay home and be reclusive. He has pretty much seperated himself from anyone who offends him in any way. To include his mother, brothers, sister, my mom and step-dad, most of his friends, and my kids. The only family member he'll talk to is my dad and step-mom and the visiting is only once in a blue moon. This will be my first thanksgiving away from family. They all live within 30 minutes, but he doesn't want to go. So when he goes back to work the following Monday, I'll make my rounds and eat leftovers with everyone.
I try to be as supportive to my H as I can, but it's times like these that so much is missed out on... and it makes me feel a little lonely and terribly boxed in. I could go without him, but then he'd broooood for weeks because I rejected and abandoned him and his rabbit dumplings and I'd then become his latest excuse for acting out more abundantly. It's kind of a catch 22 thing. I either disappoint my H or my family. Sometimes I wish I could hop a plane to somewhere new... just to get away for a season or two... but then everything would be waiting on me when I returned.
TimM, CONGRATULATIONS!  Everyone else who is still trying, whether you are struggling or not, congratulations. It is a wonderful thing for a husband and wife to be thankful for! A husband or a wife who is trying to gain and maintain freedom from SA! One day I know I will celebrate the same thing with and for my H.
I wish you all a very pleasant Thanksgiving Day!
Last edited on Fri Aug 8th, 2008 03:55 pm by decide2love
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guitarist63
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Posted: Mon Nov 19th, 2007 10:13 pm |
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Thanksgiving we don't have in England. It's a very good idea, however.
I have a lot to thank God for. I thank Him that He saved my skin from the eternal flames of hell. I thank Him for all the people He has used to bring His Gospel into my life. I thank Him for my wonderful family, friends, relations. His blessings have been abundant and this year has been a year of many blessings.
So I thank God with all my heart because that's what we're here for. To thank Him, to praise Him, to give Him all the glory. We don't need any other purpose in life except to give Him praise and glory.
Praise Him in all situations, whatever they are, however hard they are. We're not here to have a good time.
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sam
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Posted: Tue Nov 20th, 2007 02:46 pm |
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| guitarist, you have a holiday where you set some stuffed guy on fire, don't you? could you give me the details, i'm curious. oh, by the way, i live in georgia but i'm a huge dr who fan. i started watching when i was a little girl & i am thrilled that they are making new ones. i was also excited about torchwood, but it's too racy. the episodes i watched would have been fantastic if they would have left out the sexual stuff.
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guitarist63
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Posted: Tue Nov 20th, 2007 06:38 pm |
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Sam,
Thanks for your response. I don't watch television unless visiting family which is very infequently. So I am a bit out of touch with what's been on the box.
Re. Dr Who, in 1965-6, my parents had a rented black-and-white television and I remember Patrick Troughton as Dr Who when I was 2-3. I did find it fascinating as a child - terrifying also at times. Also saw the other later Dr Who's, one of whom also played the brother of Siegfried in "All Creatures Great And Small". Can't remember the name of the actor.
Re. Guy Fawkes Day - November 5th. That involves stuffing a "guy" with straw, dressing it up, sticking it on top of a bon fire and burning the whole lot. With or without fireworks. Guy Fawkes tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament with a few other fellow-consipirators who were all caught or shot and they were hauled through London on carts before being executed. I suppose the festival was to give thanks that the King and the Houses of Parliament were not blown to pieces.
Last edited on Sun Mar 23rd, 2008 01:05 pm by guitarist63
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sam
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Posted: Tue Nov 20th, 2007 06:59 pm |
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i think the guy who was in "all creatures" was the one with the colorful scarf, if so, he was my favorite. thanks for the info on "guy fawkes day". very interesting. i hope you have a great day. 
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guitarist63
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Posted: Tue Nov 20th, 2007 10:03 pm |
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Hi Sam,
Remembering the first Guy Fawkes night that I had. When I was 5, Dad gave me a bowler hat that was too small for him - it was around Guy Fawkes season and in a fit of generosity, I donated the hat to the guy and it wore it and the hat got burnt up. I don't think I had worked that out. I thought perhaps it was just a loan! I remember the Catherine wheel that year was wonderful and the rockets. No idea at the time that the idea of the Catherine wheel was a reference to the terrible martyrdom of St Catherine.
I remember brushing my teeth at the sink that year and it was Dad's hair cream! Yuk!
Last edited on Sun Mar 23rd, 2008 01:07 pm by guitarist63
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sam
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Posted: Wed Nov 21st, 2007 02:07 pm |
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i have been known to have the same types of generosity fits myself.
that is too funny about the hair cream. the funniest thing i did around that age happened to also be the scariest thing too, my mom caught me hitchhiking, thank god she caught me. i didn't know what i was doing, i had seen someone do it and i was just imitating. thankfully it was at a much safer time in the world. it was around 1977 or 78, but i'm sure there were child abductors back then too.
i am not familiar with a catherine wheel.
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sam
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Posted: Wed Nov 21st, 2007 06:27 pm |
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you know, i have so much to be thankful for. i had a brush with death this past year and by the grace of god, i'm still here with my family... i just saw a fellow pushing a young girl in a wheelchair outside my office window and i realized how much i still take for granted. i am healthy, so is my family, and more and more blessings than i could possibly name on here. god is so good.... even when things in our lives aren't so great. i hope you all have a great day!
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sam
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Posted: Mon Nov 26th, 2007 02:31 pm |
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well, thanksgiving went a lot better than i expected. i am so thankful that everyone got along.
i also want to let you all know that i have been really thinking about each of you. it's kind of strange because you are all a bunch of faceless people to me. that doesn't sound right but maybe you understand what i mean. anyway, i have been praying for you and our common struggles.
decide2love, i would really like to find out how your holiday went.
bless you all, sam
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decide2love
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Posted: Mon Nov 26th, 2007 08:18 pm |
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Tuesday night I took the kids over to grandma's house and they stayed through friday evening.
Wednesday he played his game all day, I did housework and fed the animals.
Thursday afternoon he went to use the kids bathroom. They had neglected to empty their trash and he threatened to put a lock and hasp on their door and make them go to the woods for any needs they had and that they had better not be caught using HIS bathroom for their necessities. I told him that I'd have to rip the lock and hasp off the door and he said that I could get into that fight if I wanted to. I told him that he left me no choice, and let's not forget that the master bath was only his. (Sarcasm - didn't help). So I apologized for not keeping up with the kids, I'd had a busy week, and that I'd clean up their bathroom while they were gone. He was appeased and the day went on. I took a sleeping pill and he still woke me up doing his thing in the bed next to me.
My H fixed rabbit dumplings, I fixed butternut pie, cherry-cranberry tart pie, homemade biscuits, corn on the cobb, green beans, and we ate at 9pm, he played his game till 4am and I slept. He avoided any mention of thanksgiving and we had a late dinner.
Friday afternoon I went to get the kids and stayed visiting until after dark. He was broody and moody and distant when I got home and said he'd spent 4 hours playing solitaire on the computer while he waited for me to return. He hadn't fixed himself anything to eat and seemed to get upset that my dad had fixed us all a bacon and tomato sandwich - so we weren't hungry. He'd said that he'd feed and water the quail and the rabbits while I was gone... he didn't. We had a batch of beautiful baby rabbits die that night. I should have just went ahead double checked and taken care of them, but I was angry and didn't. I assumed my daughter did it (it's part of her chores and she had gotten home in time to do it), she assumed my H did it while she was gone (as I did), so it didn't get done.
Sunday we were supposed to have lunch with out of town friends and he silently declined. He just watched us get ready and went outside to tend to his dog as we drove away. When we got back I walked into the house he was running out the back door and putting his shoes on in the rain (he hates wet socks and avoids them if at all possible! So he ALWAYS puts his shoes on inside if it's raining. But there he was in the rain, no jacket, no ball cap [which is a must], putting his shoes on). He didn't want to let me out the back door at first and then after a minute he moved so I could open it and had that stupid, sheepish, I got away with it again, smile on his face. I kissed him hello, gave him a look that let him know that I knew he was up to no good and shut the door. He fished up whatever it was he was racing to hide and took off to his deer stand in the woods. I heard him throwing things around up there and rustling in the leaves and he came back about 30 minutes later. His deer stand is just up the hill from our back door. Later I asked him what he had done all day and he said he just piddled around the house. He did feed the quail and eat doritos. He stayed in the bedroom the rest of the night, except to let his dog out, check the quail brooder in the living room, and get something to eat and drink (I'd brought him a plate back from our lunch) - which he took back to the bedroom, (I got home at 4:30pm) and I watched movies (The Guardian - great movie) with the kids until bedtime - 9pm. He didn't say anything to me unless I talked to him first. So at bedtime I went to bed. He kept waking me up off and on all night. At midnight he got up out of bed naked, put his rain slicker on and went outside for 15 minutes saying he had to check his windows (it was raining) and cover his dog (she's in heat and in a type of a kennel). He was restless all night and everytime I'd touch him with my foot or hand he'd jerk away from me.
So, to answer your question... it wasn't a thanksgiving day for us. I did give thanks to the Lord for all He has done and continues to do, but there was no we in it.
So, here it is Monday and it's back to the silent treatment... no calls at break nor at lunch. He almost got caught with whatever it was he was racing out the back door to hide and he's mad at me for having the audacity not to call and give him heads up as to my return and to leave him in the bedroom by himself last evening.
I want to go up there and search the deer stand and the surrounding area, but I don't need to know what he hid. The Lord knows and will do what He needs to do when he needs to do it. Besides, if I see it... it's just more crap I have to deal with in my head and I have enough to sort through and delete without that trash added to it. The thing I'm concerned about is my teenage son or daughter running accross it on one of their explorations, or one of the dogs bringing it in the yard and our 8 year old charge (my daughter babysits after school) seeing it. That would be bad! The Lord always brings those things hidden in us that we refuse to repent of into the bright Son-light, and more often than not, He does it in front of many witnesses, especially those we'd be most affraid to see.
Above all else, I wish that my H would turn 110% back to the Lord, so much so that he drives me crazy with his zeal. But I know it is something he has to want... and he doesn't.
Once again, I've probably said more than you wanted to know or hear, but it's like the never ending story, or the energizer bunnie... it just keeps going on and on and on.............
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sam
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Posted: Mon Nov 26th, 2007 08:53 pm |
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thanks for responding decide,
i was hoping that your thanksgiving had been better. i couldn't help but think of you and your rabbit dumplings while i sat eating turkey. wondering if you were able to be with your entire family or not. i had prayed that your h's heart would soften and that you would have the best time of your life. one thing i have learned in my walk with christ is that he has a way of taking the desires of our heart and working them out to something even more than we could have ever expected. i know you love your h and want to see him on fire for the lord. i really believe that one day your wish will come true. may god continue to bless you.
sam
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guitarist63
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Posted: Mon Nov 26th, 2007 11:30 pm |
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Last edited on Sun Mar 23rd, 2008 01:09 pm by guitarist63
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