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LAW
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| Joined: | Thu Oct 5th, 2006 |
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Posted: Sun Oct 7th, 2007 05:42 am |
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I date. I went out with a Godly woman I met at Trader Joes last week. Tonight was our 2nd date.She is of a few years younger with two kids. Very nice lady,its just marrying into a blended family.12 and 15 year old girl and boy.I have huge desire to be married...... I've heard 10,000 marriage horror storiesI Know so many people singing the divorce blues.Just what am I missing? Founder of e-harmony states 65% of marriages divorce,out of remaining 35% only 10-15% are happy. Currently reading Too Close to Soon authored by two Godly christian shrinks.All good stuff.I here a womans sexuality is super complex, tons of wives don't even like sex,others say sex is over rated.God wants me to count my blessing rather then what I don't have.What am I complaing about. I'm a Child of God,sins are forgiven,I have relatively good health,a trade,Live in best weather location of USA,come from a loving family. God has given me friends that hold me accountable. Even in view of all this I still have a huge desire to be married. Should I check into a Mental hospital?
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TimM
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| Joined: | Thu Jul 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Rural Midwest, USA |
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Posted: Sun Oct 7th, 2007 12:36 pm |
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I hope you shouldn't check into a mental hospital. Marriage has been a huge blessing for me, and many of the people here are working very hard to preserve and to deepen marriages. And while community doesn't necessarily imply marriage, God Himself said, "It is not good for the man to be alone."
Tim M.
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guitarist63
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Posted: Sun Oct 7th, 2007 04:38 pm |
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Hello, Law. Good to hear from you again. May God bless your present relationship.
Last edited on Sun Mar 23rd, 2008 03:16 pm by guitarist63
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truthseeker
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| Joined: | Tue May 16th, 2006 |
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Posted: Mon Oct 8th, 2007 06:17 am |
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Hi LAW,
I offer these thoughts and reflections for your contemplation, not necessarily responses here.
The most content people I know are those who are confident that they are in the center of God's will for their lives, and living in obedience to His Word, whether married or single.
We are, of course, instructed not to be unequally yolked, which is one of the most common mistakes, when people believe that they can love their spouse in to the kingdom. It's not that this never happens, just that discord is the more common result. Also at risk of stating the obvious, a lot of people define themselves as "christians," but how that translates in to specific beliefs, and how that is lived out in daily life can vary widely, so be sure that you can concur on something as basic as a church to attend. As you get to know one another better, do you feel comfortable praying and reading Scripture together?
In terms of dating someone who has been previously married, they should be able to openly discuss with you what they feel occurred that caused the ending of their marriage, and what they have learned about healthy relationships from that experience. I would be wary of someone who had no self-reflection, but attempts to place all blame on the former spouse. Philosophy of parenting is very important, as parents who are not of one accord are divided and conquered by savvy teens. Would the two of you want to have children together, or would you be content not to have biological children? Not on the first few dates, of course, but you should discuss her experiences with the top three hot topics, money, in-laws, and sex. Are you spenders or savers? How do you each handle credit cards? Do you believe in having joint or separate accounts? What kinds of family traditions do you each value? You'd be surprised how much conflict can arise around decisions of who to visit when on holidays. Naturally you will want to guard your boundaries of integrity carefully. While sex and intimacy are not exactly the same thing, a couple for whom this has worked correctly is quite unlikely to be divorced, so her understanding what went wrong with intimacy/sex is very important. You might find out that she is looking more for companionship so she will not be lonely, or for financial security. Needless to say, these are not good foundations for marriage.
I think that you are wise to read as much as you can about marriage. Done God's way, by both partners, marriage is God's earthly metaphor of the joy of our eternal union with Him. It is worthwhile, but only God's way, and in His time.
TruthSeeker
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