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hereiam
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Posted: Sun Nov 6th, 2005 02:47 am |
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| Thank God for this website. It's pretty insightful to hear men talk about these issues so candidly and lovingly and without all of this hellfire damnation. Reading some of the messages I see people praying for God to take away their sinful thoughts. I did that for quite a long time too. We all know that if you get rid of something then you have to find something to take its place. If you get rid of a bad habit, then another one will take it's place unless you fill it with something good. I'd like to get some guys or girls ideas on good thoughts to fill the place of those sexual ones. Instead of asking God to take something away, what do we want Him to take its place? I'm asking God to give me direction and let me do his Will. It feels a bit intangible at the moment and I sometimes I feel I need something more concrete. Any suggestions. Last edited on Sun Nov 6th, 2005 02:53 am by hereiam
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captivated
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Posted: Sun Nov 6th, 2005 07:41 pm |
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hereiam,
While I won't pretend to be an expert on the topic since I am still learning myself, someone once told me it is helpful to have a specific person or thing to pray for ahead of time which is unrelated to your area of struggle. That way, when the temptation arises, you retrain your brain to think on something completely different AND seek God in the process. Of course, some measures may have to be more drastic, depending on the level of temptation or freedom one has. It may have to be calling a designated friend to pray WITH them, etc..... Either way, I have been through some trials and been tempted to wallow in some self pity amidst them and it has blessed me repeatedly to get out of my own circumstances and pray for others around the country and world on the World Prayer Team web site. If you have trouble finding it via a search, I will get it to you here. You can also leave requests yourself. Pray this blesses you!
captivated
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RTK
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Posted: Mon Nov 7th, 2005 10:10 am |
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"good thoughts to fill the place of those sexual ones" I've heard it said that out of a five second count, a guy thinks about sex for three of the five seconds. They lied about the other two seconds. As much as we are bombarded by sexual stuff in our culture, it sure seems pretty hopeless.
The only real hope we are going to find in this life is in His Word. The Bible speaks numerous times about the mind and the heart. Keeping in the Word and meditating on it day and night (Joshua 1:8) is a a good way to transform the heart and mind (Romans 12:1,2) (I know that I can do better in this area. ) What also helps me is to keep myself busy with hobbies or projects, reading a good book, working out, taking care of myself so that I stay healthy mentally, physically, and spiritually. Idle time leads to idle time - and that is not a good thing for me at this time. Hey, if you really want to pursue an activity, ask Steve about bicycling! He is probably up to 3,000 miles by now ... unless he got a flat somewhere  Are we at 3,000, Steve??
RTK
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Steve
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| Joined: | Tue May 3rd, 2005 |
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Posted: Tue Nov 8th, 2005 12:30 am |
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Are we at 3,000, Steve??
Uh no. I'm somewhere around 2,960. It's starting to get somewhat cold here in central Colorado and it's slowed me down a bit with mileage. Thanks for asking though!
I plan to hit the 3,000 mark in style by intentionally bicycling somewhere really scenic (maybe Vail) and I very well might have a bottle of champagne with me. 
-Steve
____________________
"Isolation is bad for any man, but for the sexual addict it is fatal." -Russell Willingham
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Clay
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Posted: Thu May 4th, 2006 07:24 pm |
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Hi guys. I'm new to this discussion, but definitely need it. I have struggled with homosexual thoughts since I was 13. I have never not acted on it to the point of having a partner or anything like that, but find myself fantisizing about men. I don't know that I find them so attractive, but find myself comparing to them and looking at my shortcomings. Does that sound odd? I don't believe that I was "born" gay, but believe that I have made a conscious choice to allow these thougts into my life.
Clay
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Steve
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Posted: Thu May 4th, 2006 07:43 pm |
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Clay, I know a really good counselor who specializes in helping men get past unwanted same-sex attractions. He also does quite a bit of phone counseling. Shoot me an e-mail if you're interested in learning more.
Welcome to the forums! -Steve
____________________
"Isolation is bad for any man, but for the sexual addict it is fatal." -Russell Willingham
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Clay
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Posted: Thu May 4th, 2006 10:05 pm |
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Steve wrote: Clay, I know a really good counselor who specializes in helping men get past unwanted same-sex attractions. He also does quite a bit of phone counseling. Shoot me an e-mail if you're interested in learning more.
Welcome to the forums! -Steve
I would love to get his name. I live in dread of not defeating this problem and having to end up telling God on my day of judgement that "I was planning on getting some help......"
Clay
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Jules
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Posted: Mon May 8th, 2006 03:14 am |
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This is my first time at this. It is so shamful that I feel I can not get past the shame. I have fought this for the past 40 years. I've never had sex with another man but I have thought of it all the time. I am addicted to internet porn. I know that God loves me and that Christ forgives me, I ask all the time for mercy. I've tried regular councelors, to no avail. I've been at the point of giving in to my temptations to find someone to have sex with, to try it and just see if that is what will fulfill my heart. I know it won't, though. I am so tried of trying to keep it in and living in a divided life. What to do? What to do?
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Clay
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Posted: Mon May 8th, 2006 04:24 pm |
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Jules: I am more than happy to be your accountability partner in this. I fight the temptation of internet porn constantly. In most instances, I am in the office all by myself and have no one to keep me accountable. If you're interested let me know; it would be nice to have someone to chat/call/correspond with to keep me/them on the right track.
Clay
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NeedingGrace
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Posted: Tue May 9th, 2006 12:49 pm |
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I would really recommend that you contact Exodus International. They are a Christian umbrella organization for ministries that deal specifically with homosexuality. While each member ministry is different, most of them are very, very good.
Let me know if there's any way I can help.
Godspeed!
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Jules
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Posted: Tue May 9th, 2006 08:55 pm |
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Thanks for the help. I believe that I need more than just internet help as I am not on the internet much, except to view porn... Ugh! I'll take whatever help there is at this point. I made an AA meeting in Los Angeles visiting a friend and his wife. I just thought that was so wonderful and desired to find a group that would be able to help me deal with this problem. I only wish there was something like an AA group for porn but specifically Christian. Scripture has been such a life line through all this stuff. Without the knowledge that God is there and loves me and forgives me, even before I ask, I wonder if I would have made it this far. I just learned a friend I used to work with in another city lost his wife over internet porn. That's depressing news! And, on top of that, I lost my phone on Sunday. Satan doesn't want me to deal with this issue, it seems. Thanks for the accountability. I'm not sure how all this goes. But thanks for listening. Peace
Jules
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Jules
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Posted: Sun May 14th, 2006 03:28 pm |
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| I'm aware that temptations are empty promises. I know that separation from my relationship with God never offeres anything but emptiness and despare. The struggle against temptation and towards life is the very place that I encounter most powerfully the healing power of God's love. I believe that this is one reason that God hasn't not healed me from these temptations, which I have so often prayed for in the past. It is precisely in my weakness that His strength is made evident in my life. Whenever I begin to have a run without temptation and I begin to feel just a little in control, temptation returns. It is sooooo difficult to simply stand in right relationship with my Father. I am so small and weak and so absolutly in need of His grace and mercy. Because I am so small and broken, God in His great mercy bends down from heaven and whispers in my heart "my beloved." I guess the greatest temptation for me to to contune to strive for strength and control over my life instead of constant surrender and openness to the Spirit of truth. I sure is difficult...
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Man
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Posted: Thu Aug 24th, 2006 09:08 pm |
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Hi
I am struggling with beeing little masculine, but I seem to be attracted to women sexually, so this is maybe not the right forum for me?
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