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perserverance
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| Joined: | Wed Jun 14th, 2006 |
| Location: | Indiana USA |
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Posted: Fri Jun 23rd, 2006 03:13 pm |
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| My personal story is shared in the for wives section of the forums. I talk about my discovery of my husband's struggle with pornography and affair and how God has helped me to work through my struggles. However, I have tried to seek help and direction through the guidance of the church and I am left feeling neglected. At the beginning, when the "findings" were revealed, I sought counseling through a pastor at the church where we attended. At the time, I was saved but he was not. It was almost as though the pastor did not know how to deal with the situation when there was one believer and the other not. Shortly thereafter, we changed churches, in hopes of finding something more fulfilling for the two of us and our children. This is the church that we currently attend. This is where my husband was fed and gave his heart to Jesus. I have been discouraged however with the fact that no discipleship has taken place from the church with him. I have contacted the pastor at this church in regards to our ongoing struggle with our marriage due to the lies and betrayal of the porn and affair. I have called the pastor at least 4 times on trying to get his guidance since he is a man called by God and I feel as though we ( my husband and I) have been avoided. Just this Monday, I called the pastor yet again to try and consult him and his wife to counsel us and was told that he would talk with her and get back with us the very next day. We have yet to receive a phone call. My question remains...is Christian counseling available through the church in regards to sexual sin?
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Joel2:25
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Posted: Fri Jun 23rd, 2006 06:28 pm |
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It is in some churches, it isn't in others. There are a lot of churches that just aren't equipped to deal with it, others that are spitting in the face of Satan on the subject. From my limited viewpoint, I'd say if your pastor hasn't had any experience counseling those who are dealing with sexual problems (from either side of it) he probably isn't the best person to be helping you. I went to a pastor for help and was basically laughed out of the church. Not saying that is your pastor's attitude, but it sounds to me like he might be intimidated by the whole issue. You might try finding a Christian counselor instead of your pastor to help you out. The other thing is, are there any large churches in your area? I've found that most of the big churches seem to offer more in the ways of counseling for various problems, support groups, etc. You might need to contact one in your area and see what they can help you with. I actually spent the better part of 7 months driving 40 min. one way every Thursday night to go to a support group for women. It was most helpful.
Prayers going up for ya.
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perserverance
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Posted: Fri Jun 23rd, 2006 06:39 pm |
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| I appreciate what you have said in your response but at the same time, doesn't it seem "ridiculous" in a sense to have to seek help from a different church, be it larger or whatever??? I have done this though and have found a support group for myself. But what about actual counseling for the two of us together? I would have thought that a pastor who has been through Bible school, has been "educated", if you will, on marriage counseling and real issues that surround it. There is a worry with me about seeking a counselor outside of the church. How do you really know before you go talk with them, that they are trustworthy and have Christian beliefs?
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Joel2:25
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Posted: Fri Jun 23rd, 2006 06:52 pm |
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You're right, it probably is ridiculous, but it's a reality nonetheless. I wish it wasn't so, believe me. You can go to the Focus on the Family website and they have referrals for counselors in your area. You fill out some confidential form and they can get back to you (via email) with references.
Not that this is the best idea .... but are there any married couples in your church who have been married for a long time, possibly deacon/elder (married), who could "mentor" the two of you? It would be better than nothing if you could find a trustworthy couple who can mentor you in a confidential manner. At least it would be a step in a good direction.
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perserverance
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Posted: Fri Jun 23rd, 2006 07:55 pm |
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Ok so I called Focus on the Family for a listing of Chrisitan Counselors....absolutely none even remotely close to my area. This is so frustrating 
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