| Author | Post |
|---|
jesuslovesme
Member
| Joined: | Sat Jan 13th, 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 2 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |  |
|
Posted: Sat Jan 13th, 2007 09:22 pm |
|
Last edited on Tue Jan 16th, 2007 11:13 pm by jesuslovesme
|
jesuslovesme
Member
| Joined: | Sat Jan 13th, 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 2 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Sun Jan 14th, 2007 02:31 am |
|
Just thought I needed to add something here... I don't want to be offensive in saying that my husbands SA is more complicated than most... the reason I say that is... if this were something he did alone... I would suffer, but I guess in some ways it would be less taxing.... but the fact that he wants to do these things AND wants me along for the ride makes me have to deal, not only with the addiction, but also with the whole "participation" thing... because now... he doesn't even feel guilty for what he does... just mad that I won't participate more than I already (unfortunatly) have... So I don't even have a husband "Promising" nor making any effort to stop. He has gotten to the point where he wants it and is cutting all emotional ties to me cause his mind is set that, if it isn't with me, at some point (he says once the kids are out of the house, youngest is 5, so few years to go yet), we will be divorced and he will finally be able to get a wife who will now how to have fun with him.
Sad thing is that he wants to serve the lord, but has become to blind deaf and closed hearted to see that he needs serious help... and he won't go to counseling, or talk to anyone about this...
Please pray that the Lord will be able to reach him!!!
Any and all replies would be welcome!! It's so nice to have someone to talk to about this who actually understands!!
Last edited on Sun Jan 14th, 2007 02:35 am by jesuslovesme
|
Praise6
Moderator
| Joined: | Sat Jul 16th, 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 105 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |   |
|
Posted: Sun Jan 14th, 2007 02:23 pm |
|
You are not alone. I too got caugth up in the whole SA porn junk.
Your husband is being manipulative and mean. There is a book by Melody Beattie called CoDependent No More. It showed me how my emotions and feelings were no longer my own but tied to my husband's.
I had to get healthy myself. I had to get healthy for my children. I realized that if I continued on, that my children would be the ones to suffer. I couldn't let that happen.
I came to a point where I told my husband that he behavior with porn and such was no longer acceptable in our marriage. I meant it. At that point I didn't care if he stayed or left.
You are so much more than your husband's play toy. If he really wants a ministry and and serve the Lord, what the heck is he doing?
Amazing men do not treat their wives or the Lord this way.
His secret needs to get out and he needs to get accountable.
|
Joel2:25
Member
| Joined: | Wed Oct 26th, 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 126 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Sun Jan 14th, 2007 05:36 pm |
|
Oh hon, I'm praying for you. I must rush off but you might want to grab Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas as well. Yes, I'm a Gary Thomas fan too! My thoughts are scattered in my rush, but to be tactless and blunt, your husband has no business in the ministry if he IS in the ministry in any way. He's rushing headlong into the darkness and I think he's so "barbed" he doesn't realize it's more like being flushed down the toilet. That swirl just gets faster and more powerful the closer you get to the bottom.
You must feel like you're in a nightmare with this vacation coming up. Try to remember .... you are the bride of Christ first and foremost. SECOND to your husband.
Much love and continued prayers!
|
truthseeker
Super Moderator
| Joined: | Tue May 16th, 2006 |
| Location: | New Jersey USA |
| Posts: | 867 |
| Status: |
Online
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Sun Jan 14th, 2007 07:04 pm |
|
Hi JLM,
My heart aches for you. No, I have never been close to where you are, but God's Word, the Truth, has timeless wisdom.
1 Cor. 13 is a wonderful definition of love. Do not let your H twist it and say that it is you who are not loving. Love does not lead one toward sin, only away from it.
I also suggest the following passages:
Romans 1:28-32. 2 Tim. 2 Peter 2.
To keep proper balance, 1 John 1:8-9.
God does not wave His hand and remove temptation from us. He instructs us to flee from it. James 4:1-10. We have to resist the devil ourselves, not expect God to turn him away.
I agree with Praise and Joel. If he will not get help, and soon, he will have to leave, and disclosure to family and church would be important for the safety of all.
You might also read 1 Cor. 6:15-20 and 10:13.
I know that it is probably impossible to believe, but Christ will uphold you should you have to ask your H to leave.
If he is upfront with another woman, should that be in his future, as I suspect he was not with you prior to your marriage, (unless you thought you could change him,) he will never again marry a believer. It is a daunting thing to thumb one's nose at God's grace. I pray that your H will not continue to do so.
I am praying for your wisdom and strength.
TruthSeeker
|
freshair
Member
| Joined: | Mon Jan 15th, 2007 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 1 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Tue Jan 16th, 2007 05:00 am |
|
Oh my... I thought I was the only one dealing with the shame of going along with it just to keep the peace. I can hardly even write this for the tears running down my face.
JLM - I have no "fixing" words for you - if I did, I would be out of this horrible place. But I DO have words of encouragement and empathy. I truly believe that somewhere, somehow and surely with the love of God deep within us, that you CAN get through. Deep down I know there is healing and I know that it flows from the River of Life.
You can do it dear sister. And I'll be praying for you all the way.
Be blessed.
freshair
|
Broken Angel
Member
| Joined: | Thu Jan 18th, 2007 |
| Location: | North Carolina USA |
| Posts: | 31 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Fri Jan 19th, 2007 11:29 pm |
|
Dear Jesuslovesme,
Never EVER compromise your walk with God. Draw your boundaries, stand by them! This is his cross to bear and like so mant of us, we are trying to carry our cross & HIS! God gives us purpose and a guide post as to how we should live our lives. Talk to him, LAY your boundaries and be strongly armed with the word of GOD. Put on your armor dear..we are at war. And get counseling right away, make him live up to his responsabilities to the Lord. Hold him accountable. Start today. I will pray for you...
Broken
|
Current time is 07:43 pm | |
|
RSS