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glorynHim
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| Joined: | Mon Jan 1st, 2007 |
| Location: | Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 8 |
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Posted: Mon Jan 1st, 2007 09:46 pm |
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Hi,
I left him 3 months ago. I tried the boundaries thing and talking, forgiving him ect...
Nothing moved him
He always had the right words to say and played on my emotions for years, but I had enough. The sad thing is I had to loose everything. I mean literally. I walked away from my home, car, job, and husband to try to save the marriage. That might sound crazy but its a last resort before divorce. He still thinks he can just stop. YEAH RIGHT!!! There is nothing else he could do to hurt me. Porn, affairs, lies ect...
Sooooooo, Its in Gods hands and my faith is in the Lord. I continue to try to lead my husband and I pray a lot. I know the decision I made is right by leaving. Im not saying for any one else to do that but in my case it was through prayer and being led by the Lord for me to do what I did. I totally put my husband in Gods hands. My husband gave his life to the Lord many years ago but has fallen into much sin. Please pray for his deliverance.
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truthseeker
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| Joined: | Tue May 16th, 2006 |
| Location: | New Jersey USA |
| Posts: | 867 |
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Posted: Tue Jan 2nd, 2007 08:08 am |
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Hi Glory,
I thank God that your faith remains strong. I am praying that He will heal your broken heart, and give you wisdom and direction as you adjust to your new circumstances. Also, I am praying for your H's deliverance, for his own future, even if the marriage is beyond healing.
TruthSeeker
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henny
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| Joined: | Mon Nov 27th, 2006 |
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Posted: Tue Jan 2nd, 2007 02:34 pm |
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Glorynhim,
I've posted a reply to one of your previous post's and wanted to respond here to the specifics of your need for help.
When my wife and I realized that our daughter was both an alcoholic and a drug addict we were devastated. How could this have happened? Our daughter was a Christian and taught Sunday school and was committed to Christ. How could she be an addict? What had we done? What could we do?
We had bailed her out so many times and for so much money it was beyond tabulation. Nothing worked. And where could we go in the church?
When we looked around in our church all we saw were perfect families. The husbands were elders, the wives served on this group or that, the children were in Bible College or serving on mission trips. Where do we go? Who do we turn to? Who could we talk to?
The sense of shame and embarassment kept us from talking to anyone. That was when we were directed to Al Anon. When we walked in we were naturally nervous and wondered what to expect.
It was a breath of fresh air. No judgement. No condemnation. No one thinking secretly, well, you know if you had been proper Christian parents this wouldn't have happened. Raise up a child in the way he should go and even when he is old he will not depart from it.
You know the verses and the self righteous attitudes I am talking about.
Now, let's talk about sex addiction. If you go to the statistics page on this web site you will see that 50% or more of men in Christian churches struggle with pornography! 50%!!!
When was the last time you heard a sermon on sexual addiction, pornography, marriages in trouble because of sexual addiction or a group founded to help men struggling with sexual sin? When? Rarely if ever, I would guess.
If half the men in the flock are struggling with sexual sin isn't that something the leaders of the church should be dealing with on a daily basis? But it is a secret, shame filled hidden sin.
Because 30% or more of pastors have the same struggles.
I can't tell you what to do for your husband. But Al Anon or S anon will be of help to you. As a Christian you may struggle with the "god as you understand him" thinking there, but you will find support and encouragement in a non-judgemental way.
Hope this helps.
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glorynHim
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| Joined: | Mon Jan 1st, 2007 |
| Location: | Ohio USA |
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Posted: Wed Jan 3rd, 2007 01:44 am |
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Thanks for the prayers. I am seeking help for myself. I have trusted in the Lord to lead me and He has. He has taken me out of the bondage I was in and put me in the land flowing with milk and honey. I am learning to trust in the Lord no matter what choices my husband makes with his addiction to porn. I know that I will be healed. I am praying for deliverance for my husband for this porn addiction. Its a shame that this is not discussed or taught in the church. I have read the stats and its worse than I thought it was. This problem is most churches only preach a feel good message and not the whole truth... Sin will send you to hell. As far as my husband goes, I want his soul to be saved more than my marriage back. All things are possible with the Lord.
Thanks for the links to other sites. They are helpfull.
God Bless
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stillsad
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| Joined: | Sat Dec 30th, 2006 |
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Posted: Thu Jan 4th, 2007 06:56 pm |
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Dear GlorynHim:
I just wanted to say God Be With You. I stayed with my husband for 3 years after I found out about his sex addiction. We were married for 18 years and have two wonderful children who were 7 and 10 at the time. I wanted our family to work. But, it didn't. I could not fix him, even with several years of serious counseling. I think I was working harder than him! God knows what is best for you and he is giving you SO much strength right now. PLEASE take care of yourself right now. Please, just think of you right now. You matter. You are important. You need to heal and your healing will not happen overnight. Take time for yourself. Take time to grieve your marriage. God bless you.
Cindy
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glorynHim
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Posted: Fri Jan 5th, 2007 05:00 pm |
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Im sorry to hear your marriage didnt work out. Its hard to move forward and start your life over again. I can only take one day at a time. I know the feeling of working harder than your husband. That is something I probly wont ever understand. I hope you have healed and all the brokeness in your heart is mended. I am on my way thanks to God holding me up when I get down. I dont know the future about my marriage but I am still moving forward with myself till the Lord shows me different. Was there something particular that you went through for healing?
Thanks for the concern and God Bless.
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stillsad
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Posted: Fri Jan 5th, 2007 08:42 pm |
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You said the perfect words "take it one day at a time". I never really knew what that meant until I went through all of this. I have some awesome close friends. I have the kind of friends that would drive by my house and if they saw the light on past 10:00 would stop to make sure I was okay and we would sit up and talk in our jammies. My family was awesome. No one judged. I'll be honest - I was truly embarrassed. My ex-husband is a very high powered corporate attorney. We were that couple that everyone thought 'had it all'. I quit work to stay home with my kids about seven years ago and all the sudden here I was - alone. I'll also be honest - I was REALLY mad at God. It took a lot for me to realize He didn't do this. It's a healing process for you in so many ways. But boy does it bring you closer to God, family and your children.
I remember the one thing I said when my husband told my about his many affairs. We were sitting in therapy and I said, I have two things left - my children and my dignity. And I still have them.
God Bless.
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glorynHim
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Posted: Sat Jan 6th, 2007 06:34 pm |
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Dear Stillsad,
I cant say that I was ever mad at God but I did and still question why I had to go through all this. That is a question that still is unanswered. I was ashamed and embarrasst also with some of the things my husband did. There were so many things over the years. As I look back on some of the things he put me through, I cant believe I stayed as long as I did. It was like I was walking around in total denial for years just wishing he would be the man I wanted him to be. My family and close friends look at me like there was something wrong with me, even to this day for still talking to him and hoping for his deliverance. They of course gave up on him many years ago. They support me for the most part and help me with anything I need too. I hung on to the prophesies we had spoken over our life. Every time we visited a church for the first time there was a word for us and a great call on us as a couple to do the Lords work. The enemy has been trying to divorce us ever since. The keys lied with my husband. This battle with porn and affairs literally, has torn us apart. I see now that I cant stay with him in this bondage as he has to make the choice for these things to come to pass. If he never does, God has a plan for me any way. Thats where I am now waiting on the Lord for restoration of the marriage and having the prophesies come to pass or going on in the things of the Lord alone. So I have to take it one day at a time and listen to the voice of the Lord for instuction.
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