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looking4light
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| Joined: | Wed Mar 22nd, 2006 |
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Posted: Wed Mar 22nd, 2006 01:51 pm |
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I have been with my fiance for 4 years now. I knew he was interested in porn since childhood but it did not seem to be a problem. Last summer I discovered he had been chatting on porn sites and had been having phonesex. I was devastated but he cried and begged and convinced me he could and would stop. He has continued to tell me these past months that he has been porn free and because I currently live 200 miles away from him and don't see him during the week I was forced to trust him although I felt something still wasn't right.
Last week I went to visit him for the first time since the summer. When I went on his computer I discovered that not only had he been continuing his porn activities online and on the phone but he has built a porn website. My world just came crashing down around me and I have been in a haze for the past week. My fiance immediately confessed his porn addiction to all of his family, removed his home computers, blocked his pay per view cable channels, made an app't with an addition counselor and has enrolled in an 3 day intensive treatment centre for sex addicts.I have told my fiance that I am uncertain if our relationship can ever be repaired, but I have forced myself to stand behind him and be as supportive as possible given the pain and betrayal I am feeling. He admits he has a problem and has shown he is willing to seek help but I have been hurt so badly and he made the promise before that he would stop I don't know what to do. I have told him he can come home when he feels the need to be around people but it hurts to see him. I am trying to balance dealing with my own pain and trying to be a good Christian person who wants to support someone who is trying to help themselves. I still love him so very much but I am afraid to trust him anymore.
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brokenhearted
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Posted: Wed Apr 26th, 2006 09:01 pm |
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| I sent you a reply in the General Forum, I think...it comes from the heart
____________________
If you let people take a piece of you, what is left of you?
Expect nothing and you will not be dissapointed!
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searching1
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| Joined: | Tue Nov 1st, 2005 |
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Posted: Thu May 18th, 2006 06:44 am |
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 Well, I haven't been on this site in a while and I just now read this.
My opinion is get out of this relationship. Being married will only complicate things. If I had known this about my husband before we were married, and known how much it devestates a relationship I would not have said, "I Do".
Marriage is tough enough without going into with baggage. Its bad enough if you're already married and have to go through this. Why would you willingly put yourself through this?
You deserve to have a husband whose heart, mind and eyes are devoted to you. This is a rare find in today's society. Scantily dressed women, sexual images everywhere make it easy for men to turn their attention constantly to other women. My advice: end this relationship and begin to pray whole heartedly for the Lord to bring a Godly man into your life who is devoted to God first and will be devoted to you the way you deserve.
P.S. You can still remain your fiance'(ex-fiance)'s friend. You can still pray for him and support his getting help. This won't be easy, because you'll still love him. You can support him without dragging yourself into a marriage that starts out bad.
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Newbie
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| Joined: | Thu Jun 8th, 2006 |
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Posted: Thu Jun 8th, 2006 08:50 am |
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Yep, what she said! Don't marry him. He has a problem that he needs to address. It would be difficult for him to handle overcoming an addiction.
More importantly, imagine how awful it will feel to be his wife (who he is supposed to be devoted to only) and for him to relapse. I personally wish i had know before we were married. Now, I feel obligated b/c of the marriage when I wish I could have known the real him.
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