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apostle
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| Joined: | Thu Feb 2nd, 2006 |
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Posted: Thu Feb 2nd, 2006 01:43 pm |
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hello to all ...
i just 'found' this site ... my husband of 11 years just told me of his 20 year 'struggle' with sex addiction ,,,, he had made many references over the years that he had a secret life .... well this is it ... i have only an over view of what has 'taken place' however he did answer my questions ... he estimated that he has had sex with about 12 other women, some prostitutes, and escourts, one or two 'hook ups' from the internet as well . he said his last sexual encounter was in the summer. he also said he had oral sex more than intercoursee ... and he did not always use a condom.
i encouraged him to reveal this part of his life to me ... i knew it was gonna be something big ... over the years we have manueverd trough many issues ... lots with sexual 'twists' ,,,,i was molested at age 12 by my sisters husband while baby sitting with my best friend, she too was molested .. the twist is our 'abuse' centered on the two of us rngaging in sexual behaviors. we continued to act out (me and her ) for a few months. i later had quite a few lesbian experiences. my first husband told me he was a sex addict when we were breaking up our 12 year marriage, my current husband has 'peeped' in windows in his teen years ,,,, the whole strip club thing .... movies .... lots of hard talks , over the years
now this .... he has just come home, i will go now, i will return to you, i seek wisdon, peace and support. i told him a week ago that whatever it was that he was keeping secret, i forgave him . God is here ... thank you all
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Insignificant
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| Joined: | Wed Jan 25th, 2006 |
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Posted: Fri Feb 3rd, 2006 04:02 pm |
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I'm sorry this is happening. I'm sorry any woman has to go through this.
I don't really know what support I can offer, but I can tell you that there are free services out there that are confidential. I've been working with 2 different social workers and they have been really helping me. One of them talks to me about staying focused and figuring out what I want to do, and then doing it, and one of them talks to me about my feelings and how to work through them. And the only time they have gotten involved is when I Asked them to.
I cannot possibly tell you how much they have helped me, simply by listening to me and helping me make the decisions I need to make. They have not told me what to do by any means...they just know what questions to ask to help me make up my own mind. And they do have some good advice too....like using a condom every time you have sex with your husband if you know he is being intimate with other women. That bit is for OUR safety, and I never would have thought of it on my own.
And I must say...just hearing a professional say that it's not your fault can make you feel a lot better.
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captivated
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| Joined: | Thu Oct 20th, 2005 |
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Posted: Sat Feb 4th, 2006 03:49 am |
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Ladies, it's so hard for my heart to read all you are both going through due to the choices your husbands have made. Getting help somehow is wise advise! I do have a bit of caution over hearing that they're telling you sex with condoms would be safe against disease, however. I have a medically oriented background, before I was a mom, and have paid attention to this debate over the years. Once I heard James Dobson talk about how easy it was to get pregnant with a condom and I think he also compared the size of a sperm to that of a virus or bacteria and said they were even smaller. I can't remember for sure. Anyway, I think that if I knew my husband had participated in risky behavior, which sex with anyone other than one's own wife is, I'd want my husband and I to both undergo testing for sexually transmitted diseases (STD's) as well as an AIDS specific test which I'd need to see a copy of my husband's results for, especailly with children still dependant on you.
Sorry this is all so tough!
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searchingforlight
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Posted: Sat Feb 4th, 2006 01:03 pm |
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Dear Apostle,
I am so very sorry to hear you are hurting so badly, my heart & prayers go out to you...
Please do not keep this to yourself!
Hiding things inside, and not allowing them to come out (angry, hurt, pain) will destory you!
If you need to talk to someone or need prayer please contact me anytime.
Isaidfree@aim.com
I am praying for you,
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