| Author | Post |
|---|
searchingforlight
Guest
| Joined: | |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |  |
|
Posted: Tue Jan 24th, 2006 09:43 pm |
|
Dear Women Of This Earth . . .
We are all hurting, we have all been hurt, and we are all hiding something deep down inside.
The Bible says that Christian's should share, and carry eachothers burdens. I believe that God wants us to talk freely to one another, and build friendships so we don't have to feel so alone, I know if we start to share and give advice and help eachother daily we can fight this thing called evil much faster.
So what do you choose?
I know that many of you have not openly given your e-mail address's out, but I believe that we should keep posting everyday if possible, so we all can stand together and share together, and if we feel comfortable start to become close friends, like a small army.
Come on ladies! Lets start sharing!
Please post something about yourself! Interview yourself and why you are here, lets get this army started!
|
captivated
Member
| Joined: | Thu Oct 20th, 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 417 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |   |
|
Posted: Wed Jan 25th, 2006 02:20 am |
|
Dear searching for light,
You are right that we need to band together in this battle......in accountability groups......in sharing our stories, as much as we feel we're able to......in encouraging each other to hold onto Hope in Christ......in encouraging godly and wise counsel with counselors in this area and in posting on these forums.
Before I answer some of why I'm here, I wanted you to know that I did not get to take your poll, but did pray for you and will continue to. God's so amazing......and truly is to be trusted! Anyway, I, and others I'm sure, are wondering how you are doing and what you decided about your fiance'...and what he's doing to recover? I think I'd follow the advice Mike and Praise 6 gave you.....and pray hard as God changes things and see what He wants to do in your heart in the process.
Why I'm here, other than the obvious porn in marriage issues..... Well, for me, God's led me here.....gave me the site through another ministry I was praying for the freedom of prostitutes from their bondage with, just about the time my husband got caught looking at porn. It has been a blessing in many ways to not feel so alone in my pain, to be amongst many who really pray and care and want God's best for one another.....AND to see how some of the recovering addicts post here with honesty and realness which blesses my heart to see, even when they do slip up......I've seen a lot of humble attitudes here from men who truly desire to bless their wives and support one another in pursuit of purity. I really admire this and want to support them and their wives by praying for them, most of all.....and to connect with and pray for the women here. As I read, I'm also thankful to learn from what others share.
Glad you've joined!!!
welcome!
Captivated
|
Deeply Despaired
Member
| Joined: | Sun Mar 5th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 3 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Sun Mar 5th, 2006 11:48 pm |
|
Hi,
I'm 28 years old and I was recently married four months ago. I found out that my fiance had a porn addiction 2 years before we got married but I didn't realize how bad it was. I have given him many chances to change and he has committed to but he is still struggling with it. I was watching TV one night and was captivated by the sermon and found Blazing Grace. I sent an email out for help and an angel answered my email. It feels good to know that I am not alone and most of all that this forum exist for us to share and help each other.
I am tired of all of this now and I feel only hopelessness for my marriage. I intend on telling my husband that I think we should divorce. I don't think I take this anymore. The self esteem problem, the pain, the everything. I can't forsee a future like this. A part of me wants to hang in and fight but another part of me question why because it is all hopeless. I should end it now before we involve children in it. Am I being to hasty? I know I am terribly depressed.
Deeply Despaired.
|
zech122
Member
|
Posted: Tue Mar 7th, 2006 03:04 pm |
|
I'm here because I agree that we need to share our stories and help each other in the battle.
I knew that my husband had viewed some porn before we were married almost 15 years ago. However, I had never heard of a sex addiction, and although I didn't believe that it was right or that he should have viewed it, I sort of just passed it off as something a lot of men do. Then years later after we got the internet I found sites that he had visited. I confronted him and he'd justify why it was okay to look at this stuff, saying the human body was a beautiful creation of God. So it was okay to look at the beautiful creation. I never knew how to argue with his messed up thinking and would end up just dropping the topic. He would promise to not look at it again, because he knew I didn't like it. However, that would only last so long, and then he would return to looking at it again. My talking to him never helped. I have however, discovered that I was not approaching him in a loving manner or attitude, it was with an "I'm right and you're wrong" attitude. I was going to prove him wrong. It didn't work too well that way.
Finally I prayed that God would get his attention. He did answer that prayer, although not exactly how I expected. My husband had asked someone he knew to pose for him to create his own web site. I knew my husband's password to his e-mail and checked it one day, finding an e-mail asking this person to pose. So again I confronted him. He came up with a convincing lie. He said he had no intention of doing this, he sent this e-mail to catch me checking his e-mail. Well I was guilty of checking up on his e-mail. Then about a week later he was arrested because this person, turned out to only be 16 and had turned him in to the police. Please know that he never did actually take any pictures of this person.
He spent the weekend in jail and got out on Christmas Eve. God provided for us to be able to accept a plea agreement to a non-sex offense crime, so my husband does not have to register as a sex offender, he did however, have to attend treatment if it was required after an evaluation, and he received 4 years probation. God also provided us with a Christian treatment provider, since the providers had to be approved by the state, I wasn't expecting to find a Christian one. God also provided my husband with a Christian probation officer. God also allowed for my husband to still have contact with our minor children, my husband just couldn't be alone with our kids. In Jan. of this year, my husband graduated from his treatment group. He has grown and changed. He has earned back the privilege of being alone with our children. I can tell you that there is hope with God's help in this battle. My husband wanted to change. He could have lost his family as a result of his choices. He is a changed man. He hopes to be able to help other men dealing with this addiction.
If anyone has any questions I will answer them the best that I can. I had the privilege of being able to sit in on several of my husband's treatment groups and it was a wonderful experiences.
In Christ,
Zech122
|
CLC
Member
| Joined: | Thu Mar 2nd, 2006 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 8 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Wed Mar 8th, 2006 12:44 am |
|
Hi Ladies,
I have recently joined the forum. I am 37 years old and as zech122 stated, I knew my husband viewed pornography early into our marriage. I also blew it off as something guys did at batchelor party's etc. As I look back now, I can see that most of our struggles probably originated from this problem.
Thanks to the wonderful world of the internet, my husband now has a full blown addiction. I know he still struggles with the right and wrong of the situation. Only recently did our problems escalate to a point where I was willing to leave. I knew then that I needed help to salvage my marriage. So here I am. I monitor our computer, but I know he has access elsewhere, and I struggle day in and day out to trust him at all. I don't believe he has ever been with another woman, but I know he has hidden so much from me. I have read some wonderful books lately that have actually helped me understand the man's point of view. It doesn't justify what they do, but it helps me to better understand how to help him. For the time being, I am still in the fight, and know that the outcome will be in God's hands. I have faith in his works above all us, and I pray continually for all of us in this situation.
I also have a teenage son. He is aware of his father's problem, and I am doing all I can to teach him how to avoid it. (My husband recently used my child's computer in an attempt to hide his pornography from me.)
More power to you ladies!! We need each other and all the help we can to defeat this enemy. You are all in my prayers and just remember, that you are not alone.
____________________
CLC
|
Current time is 08:32 pm | |
|
|
|
RSS