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mike
Administrator
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Posted: Sun Jan 1st, 2006 04:07 pm |
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| I originally made this topic for women only, thinking you might want a "guy free zone." If you don't have a problem letting the men post here, please let me know and I'll make it open to all.
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brokenhearted
Member
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Posted: Tue Jan 10th, 2006 02:09 pm |
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| I think that we could use a guy's perspective on things, as long as they take into account that our feelings, and hurt, is very real to us. It may also help them in their fight, knowing that it is just not their situation, that others feel as their wives do, asking questions, and recieving answers, from others.
____________________
If you let people take a piece of you, what is left of you?
Expect nothing and you will not be dissapointed!
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Insignificant
Member
| Joined: | Wed Jan 25th, 2006 |
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| Posts: | 16 |
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| Mana: |  |
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Posted: Wed Jan 25th, 2006 10:48 pm |
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I think that would all depend on WHAT they posted. If they wanted to post why they think they do it, and how the porn makes them feel (or NOT feel), and maybe even how they think it affects the family from their point of view, I would personally have no problem with that.
But I get enough of my husband telling me it's my fault, and that I'm a prude, and that there is something wrong with me, at home. I DON'T want to hear it here.
I guess what I'm asking is, how closely would it be monitored? Because if a degrading post is left up for too long, a lot would see it, and it could cause a lot of damage.
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brokenhearted
Member
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Posted: Fri Jan 27th, 2006 07:26 pm |
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| Believe me, I do know where you are coming from, and if you read the posts that I have made here, you will know that I feel the same as you. From what I have seen in this forum, the moderators will not and do not allow posts of a negative nature.
____________________
If you let people take a piece of you, what is left of you?
Expect nothing and you will not be dissapointed!
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mike
Administrator
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Posted: Mon Jan 30th, 2006 01:41 pm |
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>But I get enough of my husband telling me it's my fault, and that I'm a prude, and that there is something wrong with me, at home. I DON'T want to hear it here.
>I guess what I'm asking is, how closely would it be monitored? Because if a degrading post is left up for too long, a lot would see it, and it could cause a lot of damage.
Degrading posts wouldn't be tolerated. In general, the men in these forums are here for help and to encourage others. I think it's helpful for them, too, to see the pain you are going through because of this.
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captivated
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| Joined: | Thu Oct 20th, 2005 |
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| Posts: | 417 |
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Posted: Mon Jan 30th, 2006 05:29 pm |
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I think one of the biggest blessings of these forums has been seeing the compassion and care the men posting here are learning to have for women and especially for their wives....and the hearts they desire to have for God! So I'd say, post away here, gentlemen, especially when it's to build up and encourage the women and support them as they seek freedom and healing themselves from the fallout caused by sexual addiction and also to support their husband's in this process.  
captivated
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devastated
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| Joined: | Mon Jan 30th, 2006 |
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Posted: Wed Feb 1st, 2006 02:54 pm |
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Mike I have a question for you. Do you really think that after a man has been involved in porn for many years, that if he changes and gets help and all that, that there is a possibility that he can be free from all the "stuff" in his head. To go on to have a healthy idea of sex within marriage with his wife. I am struggliing with this issue, I think after everything a guy allows in his life and head, that it is impossible to ever be satisfied with his wife and a normal sex life. ?? I would like some honest feed back from some men who are willing to tell the truth.
Devastated
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mike
Administrator
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Posted: Wed Feb 1st, 2006 07:41 pm |
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>Do you really think that after a man has been involved in porn for many years, that if he changes and gets help and all that, that there is a possibility that he can be free from all the "stuff" in his head.
Yes, men can live free from sexual sin and a mind cluttered with lust. None of us will ever live free from temptation, though. There will be times when a "lust popup" hits, the difference is that a free man will deal with it immedately, rather than play with it. The key is if for them to come to the place of finding something much better than lust in their heart, that is, God's grace. Utter brokenness and complete dependence on God is required to come to that point.
> To go on to have a healthy idea of sex within marriage with his wife. I am struggliing with this issue, I think after everything a guy allows in his life and head, that it is impossible to ever be satisfied with his wife and a normal sex life. ??
It is will be very hard for a guy who's still playing with lust in any fashion to be satisfied with his wife. But, a man who has found the Source of Life, Jesus, has little hunger for the counterfeits, and he can come to the place of wanting his wife only and finding complete satisfaction in marriage.
The heart is more important than the head here. Some guys play lip service to being sober, but they're still empty and miserable inside. Freedom comes when a heart is filled with God's love and peace.
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CLC
Member
| Joined: | Thu Mar 2nd, 2006 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 8 |
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Posted: Fri Mar 3rd, 2006 05:19 am |
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I am new to the forum, but I think that in a marriage, this problem is a two way street. No matter who's at fault. I think we can all learn from each other, and frankly, I have no idea why my husband does what he does. I stand to learn and gain understanding, and I think the men involved will to. Since it will be a monitered forum, I say "post away" I want to understand!
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CLC
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