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hopefulwife07
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| Joined: | Mon Aug 20th, 2007 |
| Location: | Washington USA |
| Posts: | 13 |
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Posted: Fri Aug 31st, 2007 11:35 pm |
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| I think I am being quite redundant here, but I am so scared and afraid I may be making a wrong decision no matter what i do. My husband is in recovery, but very new. He's been going to a men's group once a week and has 3 books to read and work out of. The first week he was gung ho. The second week, he was not as much as the first, but still consistent. This week, as is his very normal pattern with all things he finds difficult or uncomfortable, he's chosen to do nothing several nights. I see this happening, and I mention it to him, and he's angry, so I shut up and go about my business. He won't talk to me, open up, CONNECT (please God let him talk to me!). The only thing he wants is sex or happy little times having fun like we have no issues. I have not had sex with him in 3 weeks, but he has not been sober for that long (a week since "acting out", and I use the term loosely, as I believe acting out for plenty of men can also be sex with their wives). My husband does use sex with me to get his high, and then he's fine until it starts to build and he needs it again, lest he be a complete jerk and won't even speak with me. I've always had sex with him because i love him and felt he needed it, but it was never enough. He always just needed more. What am I going to do? I don't want to be sinful and selfish, but I KNOW our sex will not be what God intended it to be and it's just him building up and wanting his release again. It will be me sacrificially loving him and him thinking this is the only way to feel loved and good and still NOT have to deal with his problems or even try to connect with me on any other level. IT HURTS! Am I wrong? I don't want to hurt him, I so desire to help him, but even in his desire for sex he hurts me so much because I know what it really is for him. Please, please give me the hard truth in your opinions, because I truly don't know what to do. I must continue to pray and beg God to answer. I need to do as God wants me to do with the right heart. Thank you.
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truthseeker
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| Joined: | Tue May 16th, 2006 |
| Location: | New Jersey USA |
| Posts: | 790 |
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Posted: Sat Sep 1st, 2007 02:15 pm |
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Hi hopefulwife07,
I believe that you have mostly answered your questions yourself, that seeking God's will, and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit is what's needed.
It sounds, unfortunately, that he is not pursuing sobriety and a whole relationship with you with his whole heart. I pray that God will open his eyes to his self-centeredness.
TruthSeeker
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