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decide2love
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| Joined: | Mon Nov 6th, 2006 |
| Location: | Kentucky USA |
| Posts: | 69 |
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Posted: Thu Aug 23rd, 2007 03:36 pm |
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I am sitting here crying  . I just got off the phone with a Celebrate Recovery leader. He said that they have meetings for me and my children on Friday evenings.
All of those co-dependant questions are raging through my mind... will he act out while we are gone, I don't want to leave him alone to do whatever he wants - I want to control his actions in my house, I don't want those nasty spirits back in where we live (which is stupid because he acts out in the middle of the night when he thinks I'm asleep and I have to clean house in the morning), what will I come home to? Will he become so enraged that he ignores me again or become violent (my son is removed from the home) toward me? The last time I called about a group at our church, he wouldn't talk to me or look at me for a week. I know, it's part of the control issue he has... but it still hurts. Being neglected hurts me deep and he knows it.
OMG, help me... I will have to open up to people I don't even know face to face!!! Doing it on-line in a forum is one thing... reaching out to friends that are in my inner circle is one thing... but opening up to strangers...  (I feel like reciting that children's book... I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...  )
I searched all morning on-line and on the phone for CR meeting place that had something for my teens because they need help as well. Just as I didn't think my parents private lives affected mine - and boy was I wrong - they don't think our private lives affect theirs, and they need to recognize what has been placed inside of them, just waiting for the right moment to manifest. They need healing from the destruction I have caused them because of my co-dependancy.
I have been praying for this, but now that I've found it, I'm scared. God didn't give me spirit of fear... So forge on I will.
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truthseeker
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| Joined: | Tue May 16th, 2006 |
| Location: | New Jersey USA |
| Posts: | 796 |
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Posted: Thu Aug 23rd, 2007 04:04 pm |
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Hi decide2love,
I'm sending big hugs.
God has not given you a spirit of fear... Remember that everyone there is there because of pain and struggles in their lives. You may be surprised how the common experience of pain can unite us. I'm glad that you have sought and found this group.
Praying more...
TruthSeeker
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Tears4Us
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Posted: Thu Aug 23rd, 2007 04:13 pm |
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Please try not to be scared. You are doing the right thing and try not to worry about what your husband is doing while you are gone. I use to drive myself nuts worrying about what DH was doing if I had to be away. The sad truth is we can not control their actions while away and beating ourselves up over the matter only serves to put us in bondage. Satan would love nothing more then to do this. Express to the group your fears of leaving him alone to attend these meetings, I am sure you are not the only one there that has had that fear and someone can maybe give you advice on how to over come that fear.
I am so very proud of you for taking that step. Please let us know how it went and know that I am praying for you and your situation.
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