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rose42
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| Joined: | Mon Jul 2nd, 2007 |
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Posted: Thu Aug 2nd, 2007 01:16 am |
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I am stuggling very much with a dission ,and could you some imput,my husband is schedule to get out of jail(work release ) in about 10 days,he wants to come home,my husband was arrested for video voyerisum,I have filed for divorce ,this is not his first time for voyerisum ,just the first time he has been arrested,I am an emotional roller coaster,I started chatting with a few guys on line,and more trouble ,i change my mind every day on what to do,my husband is very controlling emotionaly and spirtitual ,he has installed software on my computer to see evey time i am on line,I told my husband that i would go to marriage counseling with him when he got out ,but he can not move back in,he went crazy,saying that all i want to do is hurt him,which is not true I am just trying to save my self from any more pain,pressue and wrong dissions,if he is realy wanting to work on the marriage that he would understand my dission for him not to come back home,his mom lives in the same town he justed doesnt want to stay there,i am trying to make it easy on him ,letting him know i will do marriage counseling to see if there is some hope to salvage the mariage but that it needs to be this way and he will need to stay else where for a while, i know if i let him move back in the issues will not be resolved,as he has not realy delt with them,,he will keep trying to control my every thought, any imput would be appreciated
rose42
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truthseeker
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| Joined: | Tue May 16th, 2006 |
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Posted: Thu Aug 2nd, 2007 04:35 am |
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Hi Rose,
Please, please, stick to your conditions. Get a restraining order if necessary.
Please read the article
All Abuse Hurts
and consider just how many of these behaviors he exhibits.
Do you have some Godly women locally who are or can support you? I do not seek to wound the wounded, but chatting with guys online is the last thing you need complicating your life at this time. Even if the divorce proceeds, I would urge you to get counselling for yourself to help you heal, and to understand warning signs of unhealthy relationships, as well as explore whether there are factors that may have made you vulnerable to an abusive person.
Praying for you...
TruthSeeker
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Tears4Us
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Posted: Thu Aug 2nd, 2007 01:02 pm |
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| I agree with TruthSeeker, your in my prayers.....
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passionone
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| Joined: | Fri Jul 27th, 2007 |
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Posted: Fri Aug 3rd, 2007 12:16 am |
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Hi Rose,
I highly recommend to stay strong at this time and make sure that you are protected physically and spiritually.
If you haven't read Boundaries or Boundaries in Marriage, I suggest that you read those books. Maybe the marriage one first.
I was just in marriage counseling, but since my husband is such an addict, our marriage counselors will no longer see us until he works on his problem. One of my boundaries for my husband (we are separated right now) is that he must go to meeting 5 times each week.
Stick to your gut and while he is getting help, you can grow as well. In the last week, I have discovered that my husband has a problem and that I am codependent, so I am getting help for me, but that's all that I can do. I can't make him get help for his stuff - he has to do that, but I can remain separated from him until I do so.
You and your situation will be in my prayers and I will also pray that your husband will be convicted.
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