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geeky_student
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Posted: Mon Mar 12th, 2007 03:32 am |
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i fell today.
no excuses
one thing God made me aware of: ok, so during I had this picture in my mind of me embracing (hugging) the devil. I immediately dismissed that thought. But think about it, isn't that what we are doing when we sin/pick the ugly stuff over God? picking the worldly things over eternal things?
I get attacked alot, I don't know about you guys. Please do pray for me that I will stop kicking the blessings God has given me around (like my pastor said today) and that I will respect God's gift for me (Jesus, music, her). 
please do pray for me that I don't get those devilish thoughts in my mind. Thanks everyone!
Keep clean!
God is with us!
____________________
For God, for her, for my parents, for own good.
tip: when tempted, think of God, think of that special someone you love.
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guitarist63
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Posted: Mon Mar 12th, 2007 10:55 pm |
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Hey Geeky,
Praying you are delivered from the dreams of being in the arms of someone you'd rather not see again. Guitarist63
Last edited on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 10:19 pm by guitarist63
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truthseeker
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Posted: Tue Mar 13th, 2007 12:38 am |
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Hi Stephen,
Just my opinion, but this site, as the saying goes, is not a museum of saints, but a hospital for sinners. I am concerned that you feel being away could benefit you in any way. You do not promote acting out by your own falls. Many here still fall. Your prayers are always heard, even when you fall. You have a tender heart, and are humble in spirit. Please do not let the enemy draw you away from what support and encouragement you have found here.
Praying for you...
TruthSeeker
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guitarist63
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Posted: Tue Mar 13th, 2007 12:55 am |
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Thanks very much for your kind words and encouragement, Truthseeker. I don't want to stay away but I feel a hypocrite for encouraging others and even going as far as to offer advice, when I fall the same as these other folks here! Stephen
Last edited on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 10:21 pm by guitarist63
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alessandro
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Posted: Tue Mar 13th, 2007 01:17 am |
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| brother nor music nor your pastor nor thinking about that special someone will save you or get you free from porn or toughts like that only jesus christ pls visit settingcaptivesfree.com god bless
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truthseeker
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Posted: Tue Mar 13th, 2007 07:29 am |
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Hi Stephen,  I am delighted to read elsewhere that you are not spiraling off to isolation.
Our pastor has often said, and I praise God for his transparency, that he is frequently challenged by his own messages, preaching to himself as well as the congregation. As none of us are perfect, we are probably all "hypocrites" at times in the advice we give, but it is when we are open enough to the Holy Spirit to know that the message is for ourselves as well that God can work in our hearts and lives. "But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our lord Jesus Christ." 1 Cor. 15:57
Continuing to pray...
TruthSeeker
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guitarist63
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Posted: Wed Mar 14th, 2007 12:05 am |
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Hi Truthseeker. Thanks for your kind words and advice. I'm glad to be still here. Blessings, Stephen
Last edited on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 10:24 pm by guitarist63
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geeky_student
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Posted: Fri Mar 16th, 2007 04:16 am |
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Arghh... fell again today.
Please still do pray for me on that --- that none of us let the devil get any foot hold in us, that he doesnt get any foothold in any one of us.
Okay, I was checking online for news, war on terror, and those video clips before the news have these commercials, well, around the third time the commercial popped out it was one of those soap product commercials--you know what i mean. I try not to have thoughts. And i didn't. I didn't appreciate God's grace and...
Well, during p & m the Holy Spirit reminded me about Judgment Day, and all these blessings God has given me--i didnt care or want to turn myself  . and I thought, well I'm gonna be forgiven and so... then I ignored what the Holy Spirit was telling me, which is obviously very wrong and i regret doing these evil things.
addon: Also, when i was looking i was reminded by the Holy Spirit that I should not put my head in the bosom of another woman----however, I ignored and ....
Please pray that God will have mercy on me and not take away any of the blessings He has given me----they are so beautiful and precious and only a few people have those gifts, how wrong of me to not appreciate them and pick p & m, ugliness and worldliness over the Godly blessings, inheritances, ministries. Things of eternity!!!
Pray that none of us be like Esau.
Please pray that God will still keep us away, protect us, deliver us, and shield us from temptations and sins and the evil one. and that we will always be wanting to turn from those things ourselves.
Before giving in the Holy Spirit also reminded me that I need to overcome with help from God, that victory is sweet and joyous. Once again, i gave into worldliness and things of temporariness.
I will continue praying for you guys (it's been a while since i had a "quiet time"---studying the Scripture and talking to God).
God is with us
Keep clean!
Last edited on Fri Mar 16th, 2007 04:24 am by geeky_student
____________________
For God, for her, for my parents, for own good.
tip: when tempted, think of God, think of that special someone you love.
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guitarist63
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Posted: Fri Mar 16th, 2007 08:27 pm |
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Geeky, you just have to keep picking yourself up out of the pig swill and realise that your heavenly Father has a banquet prepared for you and He doesn't like the hors d'oeuvre that you keep dishing out to yourself  It doesn't go with the main course - or the pudding! But he loves you and that'll never change! Your sins are blotted out, He sees the righteousness of His son when He looks at you. Also don't forget what St Paul said in Romans 6, from verse 1, "What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may increase? [verse 2], May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it? [V.3] Or do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus have been baptized into His death?" Also, verse 12, "Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body that you should obey its lusts, V.13 and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God." New American Standard version.
What helps me (when I can remember to do it - and I'm not over "m" and sin generally) is to say to God when I wake up, "Lord Jesus, Heavenly Father, I offer the members of my body to you in your service today." We have to sacrifice ourselves daily - flesh and all the rest (body, mind, soul, spirit) - and when you first wake up is a good start, before you even get out of bed. First thing in the morning might not work for everybody. We're all unique and God ministers to us all as individuals. I pray you have complete deliverance in the name of Jesus. I also pray that you can forgive yourself, receive forgiveness, bury the past and press on to the goal. Amen. Stephen
Last edited on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 10:28 pm by guitarist63
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geeky_student
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Posted: Sat Mar 17th, 2007 02:52 am |
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Thanks Stephen!
bury the past?
God is with us, let us listen to Him and obey!
Keep clean!
____________________
For God, for her, for my parents, for own good.
tip: when tempted, think of God, think of that special someone you love.
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guitarist63
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Posted: Sat Mar 17th, 2007 11:56 am |
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Geeky, I didn't literally mean bury the past but to remember not to dwell on the sinful failures in it I am sure you'll agree that some of your past would be good to think about and we can learn from thinking about it. Memory is a gift from God, one shouldn't forget that. Blessings. Guitarist63.
Last edited on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 10:29 pm by guitarist63
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geeky_student
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Posted: Sat Mar 17th, 2007 10:26 pm |
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Thanks
God is with us, let us listen to Him nd obey Him
Keep clean!
____________________
For God, for her, for my parents, for own good.
tip: when tempted, think of God, think of that special someone you love.
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geeky_student
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Posted: Sun Mar 18th, 2007 06:53 am |
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I felt like a hypocrite
again, thanks for your encouragement, but i forgot the second part (that doesnt mean that we are ALLOWED to sin) i sinned again today, right after posting the previous post.
God is with us, let us listen to Him and obey Him! (I sinned before, during and right after typing this)
Please do pray that none of us be hypocrites, or be rebellious against God. Please pray that we give over to God every part of our life, our body (which are temples for Him which we shouldnt defile/pollute). Pray that Jesus will always soften our hearts and let our hearts be always soft and open to Him and Him only. Do pray that we praise and worship God sincerely and joyfully and wantingly (it's not a duty, it's a privilege, honor, blessing, fun, inheritance, and promise). Pray that we not be self-centered or selfish (being all me me me me me me me me). and please pray that the devil does not get any foothold in any one of us
Keep clean! Please do continue praying for me, thanks everyone!
heres the report i sent to my accountibility partner:
Report on Pornography and Masturbation 03-17-07
What I learned:
No matter how much help God gives us, if we don’t turn around ourselves, we lose—we can’t fight this battle alone, either.
I looked at God’s daughters with lust, perversion, as if they were objects of some sort for my selfish pleasure. I pictured nasty, disgusting noises in my head. I was again very stone hearted.
First wave:
Looked at stuff, then I looked at the good and big and long hands and fingers God has given me. Then the Holy Spirit spoke to me: those blessings are not for those deeds of darkness, so I quit.
Second wave:
Blocked out what the Holy Spirit was telling me. Ignorance. Really, if God did not forgive us of our sins, we would’ve been dead by now. I looked at my hands and fingers which God has blessed me with. I then typed those things and didn’t care if God is going to take away the gift of such good piano playing, interpretation, musicality, technique from me—I didn’t care about the ministry and inheritance and the gifts God has blessed me with. My hands and fingers were trembling when I was doing this. Ah, we are to dedicate to God and offer to God every member of out body everyday and let Him have total control. I was so very stone hearted!
Then I was praying for help, but I only “minimized” the window. As you can see, I wasn’t sincerely turning, nor was I really wanting to quit—I attempted to use prayer to numb the guilt. ABDOMINATION!!! FAKENESS. The X button is on the rightmost corner of the window, use it! Not the line or the box button.
As I was watching, I saw the nasty things that described the adulteress—remember in the book of Revelations the part about the woman on the beast and how the kings of the nations are going to be drunk with the wine of her prostitution? God reminded me that when I sinned. Also—I didn’t take good care of my body. Forgive me, this is a bit gross, but I tried to “hold it in” so I would be “clean”—which is very superficial and harmful to my health—I pray that none of us has or is or will be damaged in anyway—spiritually, emotionally, or physically. The devil wants to hurt us, let us not let him succeed—with God’s help. I WANT CHILDREN!!! And I don’t want to have fertility problems—thinking about that is so horrific.
Okay, another thing during the sinning—this is also why we don’t expose ourselves to evil things. When I was sinning, I thought of blasphemous and nasty things about God. Then I had this thought—I thought of the devil saying hi to me… then I dismissed that thought immediately. But I didn’t stop sinning. I was very stone hearted and kept on thinking “what what what what”—trying blocking out what God was telling me. The Holy Spirit did tell me that I need to stop and not expose myself to attacks and evil things. I was being stone hearted. Please pray that the devil doesn’t get any foothold in any one of us. Thanks!
I thought of the face of Jesus and I distracted myself because I still wanted to continue. I thought of her and distracted myself from it because I still wanted to continue. Ughhh!
I feel really hypocritical—I read your email and then went on sinning.
Oh and God pointed out to me something really important: I was being attacked after … I was thinking: wouldn’t it be boring and torturing if we spend the eternity praising God? (I pray that God will have mercy on me—oh wait, He will, for He is compassionate and that nothing can separate us from God). Well, the Holy Spirit told me that is a result of my self-centeredness—I have been thinking me me me me me me me me me so much that I didn’t care about what God wanted—we are to LOVE God with all our hearts wholly and sincerely. Praising God is fun and it’s an honor, privilege, gift, promise, and blessing. Spending the eternity with Him is a wonderful blessing and promise. J Let us not forget that.
Then I thought: CRAP! I am not going to go to Heaven now because I “didn’t want to”. Please pray that the devil does not get any foothold in any one of us and that none of us be deceived into thinking that “oh no I am damned for sure” or anything like that. Please pray that God will have mercy on me and forgive me of my sins. And let none of us take for granted, or trample upon at all any of God’s forgiveness or blessings. Let us remember that it’s not about any one of us or what we want. It’s all about God J His will be done!
God is with us, let us listen to Him and obey Him.
I will continue praying.
Keep clean!
P.S. the report, why don’t you send it with your weekly report. J
Thanks again for your time everyone
God bless!
Remember that we have been and still are and will always be blessed in Christ!
____________________
For God, for her, for my parents, for own good.
tip: when tempted, think of God, think of that special someone you love.
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Mark37
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Posted: Sun Mar 18th, 2007 07:35 pm |
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geeky_student wrote: i fell today.
no excuses
one thing God made me aware of: ok, so during I had this picture in my mind of me embracing (hugging) the devil. I immediately dismissed that thought. But think about it, isn't that what we are doing when we sin/pick the ugly stuff over God? picking the worldly things over eternal things?
I get attacked alot, I don't know about you guys. Please do pray for me that I will stop kicking the blessings God has given me around (like my pastor said today) and that I will respect God's gift for me (Jesus, music, her).
please do pray for me that I don't get those devilish thoughts in my mind. Thanks everyone!
Keep clean!
God is with us!
One thing that helps me now is too talk to God even when you are viewing that stuff. Thats right talk to him while viewing it. Tell him how you feel while you are doing it. One thing that is very true is when you fall or even before you fall there is a tendency to think that God is frowning at us. When we think that we tend to say to ourselves. Oh well what the heck. I blew it so I might as well go through with it now. Talk to God in the mist of it and you will see it isn't so. Mark37
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guitarist63
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Posted: Mon Mar 19th, 2007 09:18 pm |
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Geeky, thanks for your honesty. It counts for a lot - before God and also confessing your sins to us. I pray you'll gain the victory. Regarding what I said about the past - I ought to add that it is actually always dangerous for us to bury the past if it isn't properly healed. Blessings, Stephen.
Last edited on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 10:35 pm by guitarist63
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geeky_student
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Posted: Tue Mar 20th, 2007 03:34 am |
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Thanks Stephen!
I will continue praying for you!
God is with us! let us listen to Him and obey Him!
Keep clean!
____________________
For God, for her, for my parents, for own good.
tip: when tempted, think of God, think of that special someone you love.
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guitarist63
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Posted: Wed Mar 21st, 2007 12:02 am |
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Thanks, Geeky and praying for you.
Last edited on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 10:36 pm by guitarist63
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