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pcpro171
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Posted: Mon Mar 5th, 2007 09:37 pm |
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This weekend was a bit of a roller-coaster. I struggled some with lust and masturbation. No porn though! This is a big thing for me, as I see it as a step in the right (or is it left) direction.
There's one thing that really troubles me. There is this girl at church who very, um, mature?, for her age. I think she's 13, but she looks like she could be 20, or so, and she acts like she 20, or so, which makes it even worse. It's unnerving. I try to avoid her, but sometimes we run into each other. Then, inevitably, and slip, and fall, again.
I'll avoid my political morality commentary on this, and I'm not sure this is the correct place for it, but I am curious if anyone else out there has heard, or knows, anything about diet and its effects on how fast the body matures. Her family is very health-conscience, and I wonder if that has something to do with it. I've heard in the past that in biblical times people matured at younger ages, and I wonder if they're related.
Thanks, and God bless! ^_^
____________________
"I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, Do not stir up nor awaken love Until it pleases."
--Song of Solomon 8:4
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TimM
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Posted: Mon Mar 5th, 2007 11:12 pm |
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Just a couple of quick thoughts:
Regarding the girl at church, you say that if you see her, it's inevitable that you then act out. Is it really inevitable, or is there something that you could do, perhaps with the help of others, to keep it from happening? If it really is inevitable, then is it really essential to see her? For instance, if the only way to remain sober is to avoid her, then isn't it part of your recovery to find another church? I suspect this isn't necessary, that there is some alternative, but I worry about accepting that it is inevitable that we will continue to act out.
On the question of diet and human development, I don't have any insight, but I wonder if that's a question you need to answer? One of the ways I kid myself and support my addiction is to find questions like that to meditate on and to research. I'll tell myself that what I'm doing is being intellectually curious about something harmless, but the reality is that for me, I'm using the question as an excuse to let my mind wander where it shouldn't. I've had to learn not to ask certain questions that might be harmless for others, but that are not harmless for me if I want to stay sober. Are you sure you just have a scholarly interest here because of your general interest in nutrition and anatomy, or are you trying to toy with your fix without really using? Because I have often tried going the intellectual interest route, and it sure doesn't work for me.
Good job that you're moving forward, and that you're back here sharing.
Tim M.
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pcpro171
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Posted: Mon Mar 5th, 2007 11:27 pm |
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I doubt changing churches would make any difference; there are beautiful women everywhere. It's like unplugging the computer. Isolation doesn't solve the problem, but makes it worse. You know, the worst part about it is I think she has a crush on me, which doesn't help things either. I'll just keep trying to avoid her like I've been doing; that's had a moderate success rate.
Diet and human growth is actually more of a personal interest. I like a lot of what I've learned about their dietary habits, and I'm wondering what effects I can expect it to have on my own family someday, God willing. They have three other younger children, so I'll guess I'll find out, if I stick around long enough.
Thanks for the encouragement, Tim, and God bless! 
____________________
"I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, Do not stir up nor awaken love Until it pleases."
--Song of Solomon 8:4
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geeky_student
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Posted: Tue Apr 3rd, 2007 10:39 pm |
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pardon me but what did you mean when you said act out?
I am a bit confused, sorry. and you are ... years old?
God is with us! Let us listen to Him and obey Him!
I will continue praying for you guys!
Keep clean!
____________________
For God, for her, for my parents, for own good.
tip: when tempted, think of God, think of that special someone you love. 
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pcpro171
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Posted: Tue Apr 3rd, 2007 11:20 pm |
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| In theory it should be easy to resist temptation. If I know it's wrong, I shouldn't do it. The realitiy of the difficulty of practice is very sobering. Things, at least for me, tend to go in waves. The past couple evenings have been spent wallowing in my own muck. It disgusts me. :-( Tonight, I will face the dragon again. I'm going to try to get some cleaning done...
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"I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, Do not stir up nor awaken love Until it pleases."
--Song of Solomon 8:4
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