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RickH
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Posted: Wed Feb 28th, 2007 03:34 am |
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Good evening. I am holed up in a surburban Chicago hotel room as I type this. On another business trip. These trips are usually when I succumb to the temptation to rent a porn movie or go online to view porn.
But, I am trying to take Romans 12:1-2 to heart ("Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind").
I welcome your prayers and your accountability. I encourage anyone who is willing to ask me next week if I stayed sober. I do appreciate it.
God Bless
Rick
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Living with Grace
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Posted: Wed Feb 28th, 2007 11:42 pm |
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Another trip, Rick? But guess what? You stayed sober on the last one. Let's do it again, with the help of Jesus! Praying for you, friend...let us know how it goes...
____________________
"For I am persuaded, that [nothing!!! absolutely nothing!!!] shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8: 38-39
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guitarist63
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Posted: Wed Feb 28th, 2007 11:59 pm |
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Bravo, Rick H. You're doing well and that's one of the best passages from Romans to focus on. Praying for you. Stephen
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RickH
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Posted: Thu Mar 1st, 2007 05:08 am |
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Living with Grace, Guitarist63,
Thank you both for your posts of encouragement and your prayers. Tonight is my last night of this business trip. Last nite went well. I avoided porn in all its forms. Praise God. Now, I just need to get through tonight so I can continue with my "sobriety streak".
Once again, thank you for your prayers and accountability.
God Bless
Rick
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APR
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Posted: Thu Mar 1st, 2007 07:47 pm |
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You can do it!
Be praying for you tonight
God Bless
Art
____________________
I am the way and truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through Me.
-John 14:6
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guitarist63
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Posted: Thu Mar 1st, 2007 11:00 pm |
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Well done, Rick! Also praying for you tonight. Stephen
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tallmike00
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Posted: Fri Mar 2nd, 2007 05:29 pm |
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| I suggest you get yourself multiple accountability partners. I started out my sobriety period with three and added two so now I have five Christian men whom I call weekly to give them a report. The very idea of viewing porn or masturbating and then having to lie at least ten times, if not fifteen is quite a barrier to acting out. I just don't relish telling that many lies, not even one lie. It helps a lot. To God's glory and a testimony to his sustaining power in my life, I am now at day 124 since the last orgasm and that one was actually with my wife. (last one before moving out and living separately) I don't really know my true sobriety date. I think it goes back to sometime in Sept. Just can't remember the last time, so I use the last time of sex period.
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RickH
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Posted: Sat Mar 3rd, 2007 06:03 pm |
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Art, Stephen, LivingwithGrace, Tallmike00,
Thank you all for your prayers and accountability. I am back from Chicago and kept my sexual sobriety intact. Praise God. I believe Stephen is correct; having multiple accountability partners is a very good thing. Before I read Mike's book and discovered this forum back in January, I had only one accountability partner. When I failed, as I frequently did, it was too easy to just not connect with him or not always admit my failures. My pledge to all of you is simply this: I cannot guarantee that I won't succumb to this temptation, but I pledge to tell you honestly and frankly if I do.
Thanks again and know that I am praying for each of you.
Rick
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Living with Grace
Member
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Posted: Sun Mar 4th, 2007 05:48 am |
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Praise be to the Most High God!
Rick H, you've made my day!!!
May Christ continue to rise up in you and bring you victory after victory after victory....
____________________
"For I am persuaded, that [nothing!!! absolutely nothing!!!] shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8: 38-39
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guitarist63
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Posted: Tue Mar 6th, 2007 12:35 am |
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Hey RickH, Praise God for his faithfulness and for your courage and endurance. He'll always provide you the strength if you seek Him for it. Thanks also for your prayers. Oh, and it was tallmike00 who mentioned accountability partners but I second his opinion. Stephen
Last edited on Tue Mar 6th, 2007 12:38 am by guitarist63
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RickH
Member
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Posted: Fri Mar 9th, 2007 04:10 am |
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All,
I have disturbing news that I really don't want to share. But here goes...I fell hard back into my old habit today. Viewed porn. I'll avoid details cause it does not matter. What I did was wrong, but I did it anyway. I really thought I was serious about this sexual sobriety thing, but today I proved I am not. I am very disappointed & disgusted with myself. I am the worst of sinners.
Starting over...again. 
Rick
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TimM
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Posted: Fri Mar 9th, 2007 04:53 am |
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Glad you're back to report on your field work.
So what did you learn from the experience? Can you identify when was the first time the slip might have been visible? What were you feeling then? What were you feeling before then, then the process was already building up? What could you have done at an early stage to avoid acting out? What will you do next time?
More broadly, are you doing everything possible to recover? Is there anything at all you are doing in a partial or half-hearted way? If so, then what you just learned is that maybe you need to do that thing better. Things I ask myself after slips include
- Was I going to enough meetings?
- Praying enough?
- Avoiding isolating?
- Working the steps?
- Communicating openly with fellow addicts?
- Using the phone?
- Sharing with my wife?
- Am I seeing my counselor often enough and taking that project seriously enough?
- Am I handling daily life, exercise, diet, sleep the way I should?
- Am I really surrendering to God?
- What is God teaching me and directing me to do in this situation?
There's probably more.
I'm not posting these questions for you to reply to here, but just to think about. Analyzing a slip like this may seem hard, like analyzing a game you lost, but doing that can produce enormous growth. Now is a moment when you really have a chance to learn and to develop a better program.
Now is a moment when you can really show yourself to be an addict in recovery for whom not repeating this experience ever is the central priority of your life.
Do make good use of the opportunity.
Tim M.
Last edited on Fri Mar 9th, 2007 04:08 pm by
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Living with Grace
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Posted: Fri Mar 9th, 2007 03:39 pm |
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Great questions to reflect on, Tim. What comes to my mind is something that's become sort of a quip here at my workplace based on the current jargon introduced by some consultants: "let's not forget our process."
Rick H, my friend, we're here for you, to keep you in prayers and to keep you on process. And remember 1 John 1:9 - "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." It's our process, our faith in Christ and our surrender to the Holy Spirit that's going to keep us strong and free from bondage.
Praying for you, friend.
____________________
"For I am persuaded, that [nothing!!! absolutely nothing!!!] shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8: 38-39
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forthelord33
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Posted: Fri Mar 9th, 2007 04:59 pm |
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Hi,
I hope the Lord pulled you through your time of temptation. It's hard and perhaps you want to build in some extra safeguards for your next trip. I have been in recovery from Sex Addiction for about 5 months and business trips were very unsafe for me. I used many prostitutes. After going on 10 trips per year, I finally have one next month and my wife and daughter are coming with me.
Cheers,
Marc
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guitarist63
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Posted: Fri Mar 9th, 2007 08:10 pm |
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Courage, RickH, we're praying for you. You did well to get through the last business trip without a fall and thank the Lord for your victories. If you confess your sin, He is faithful to forgive, as you've heard from others here. Persevere. Stephen
Last edited on Tue Mar 13th, 2007 01:34 am by guitarist63
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RickH
Member
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Posted: Mon Mar 12th, 2007 12:45 am |
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Stephen, Mark, LivingwGrace and TimM
I thank you all for your prayers and support. But I especially thank you, TimM, for your thoughtful questions/challenges. I acknowledge that I truly need the Lord Jesus Christ to clean up my lustful heart. No accountability group can do that. But, having said that, I am STILL accountable for the decisions I make and I am seriously thinking and praying about what I still need to change in my life. And I pray that God will use this episode to open my eyes and change my heart.
God Bless
Rick
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guitarist63
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Posted: Mon Mar 12th, 2007 11:03 pm |
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I am still praying for you Rick. God bless you. Stephen.
Last edited on Tue Apr 17th, 2007 09:59 pm by guitarist63
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RickH
Member
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Posted: Tue Mar 13th, 2007 09:03 pm |
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Stephen,
Thank you again. I too am praying for you. I do have a very specific prayer request. Once again, I must go out of town on a business trip (Denver). Fortunately, it is a short trip. I will leave tomorrow am and be home by Friday afternoon. Still, I do struggle with porn temptations while away from home. Plus I am still in "recovery" mode so that makes me a prime target for Satan. It is imperative that I not fail again. So, thanks for your prayers. Let me know how I can pray for you this week.
God Bless
Rick
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forthelord33
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Posted: Tue Mar 13th, 2007 09:10 pm |
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Dear Rick,
What safety plan have you put in place to make it a safe trip ?
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guitarist63
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Posted: Tue Mar 13th, 2007 11:30 pm |
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Hi Rick, I'll pray for you tonight and rest of week re. Denver and beyond to the weekend. Thanks very much for your prayers. If you find it too burdensome, don't worry - I know you're busy. When you've a spare moment and you feel like it. Safe journey on the road tomorrow. Stephen
Last edited on Tue Apr 17th, 2007 10:02 pm by guitarist63
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