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Neo
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| Joined: | Wed Feb 14th, 2007 |
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Posted: Wed Feb 14th, 2007 09:14 pm |
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Didn't know if I could do this or not. Pride comes before the fall so here it goes: I need the prayers of my brothers and sisters in Christ. Every time I try to move ahead with my life I'm slapped in the face with desires of the flesh.
I've been sexually unclean for around 6 years. At the time I fell into it I could have cared less about God. Now I'm trying to rededicate my life (or rather His life since I was purchased) to Him. It all goes fine, and then blam, I willingly transgress and fall back into the old man I that should have been left behind in a watery grave. I'll watch porn, masturbate, listen to violent and sexually explict music, watch needlessly violent movies, tell crass jokes, and then show up to church on Sunday and act like everythings ok. In short, I'm like a demon who masquerades as an angel of light.
Wow, thats the first time I've ever confessed that to anyone but God, assuming anyone looks at this post. Didn;t realize how dirty all that sounded tell I had to write it. Yuck. Anyway, I don't have any christian friends my age to confide in, and I'm not sure I could handle the looks of my elders, so I;m confessing it here and asking for your prayers. It is my goal that I go the next 60 days and nights without viewing porn or mastubating. 10 days for every year spent under the banner of lewdness.
So, I'll try to post on here every day with an update starting tommorrow. Shamefully, I already fell earlier today, so today doesnt really count. Any encouragement or accountability would be appreciated. Thanx, In Christ
Neo
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Bill
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| Joined: | Wed Jan 31st, 2007 |
| Location: | Mississippi USA |
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Posted: Wed Feb 14th, 2007 09:50 pm |
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hello Neo,
I'm praying for you and YES I think you can do it as long as you depend of God as your example and guide. I wish I could say that I have been in this sin of sex addition for only 6 years. It has been more like 40 + years for me. You have come to the right place for help. This is just one big family. I started to say happy family but I don't know if all of us would qualify for that, but we are a very caring family that prays together and are accountable to each other. Having someone to be accountable to is the biggest asset for me because it is no way I could do it on my own. If you will look back through the other forum in this site you will see that whatever you have done or how you feel about things there are a lot of others that are in the same shape or worse.
Anyway, I am working on day 16 and it feel great to have beaten satan for that long. It has really been hard at times but with God's help and my family here praying for me I can continue to make it, and so can you.
Thanks for coming in here and may God keep you and guide you through this time.
Billy
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truthseeker
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| Joined: | Tue May 16th, 2006 |
| Location: | New Jersey USA |
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Posted: Wed Feb 14th, 2007 10:04 pm |
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Praying for both of you...
TruthSeeker
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Steve
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Posted: Wed Feb 14th, 2007 10:36 pm |
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Well, I didn't vote. I'd like to learn more about you.
-What are you specificially struggling with?
-What are the "matters of the heart" (i.e. the deeper hurt/wound issues that drive you to your addiction) that you know you need to face and be healed of?
-Are you part of a group? Are you regularly meeting with a mentor, spiritual leader or counselor who specializes in sex addiction recovery? Are you reading any recovery literature? Are you participating in any kind of program to help you get free?
Maintaining sobriety and "counting days" is a part of the process (at least at the very beginning), but again, I'd like to hear more about who you are, what you stand for and how we can pray for you.
(Sorry to be a party pooper about the poll!) 
-Steve
Last edited on Wed Feb 14th, 2007 10:37 pm by Steve
____________________
"Isolation is bad for any man, but for the sexual addict it is fatal." -Russell Willingham
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gaylon
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Posted: Thu Feb 15th, 2007 01:44 am |
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I didn't vote either, since I know that I can't *promise* even one more minute, but with God's grace, the next minute will be victorious. And so it goes, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and (hopefully) years.
Steve pointed you in all the right directions -- all necessary for total victory.
Also, I highly recommend reading Mike's new book (see http://www.roadtograce.com). It is truely inspired, and strikes to the heart of a sex addict, and gives hope in Christ. Frankly, reading the Bible hasn't "done it" for me, but Mike's book has opened my eyes to the truths the Bible holds as relates to sex addictions, and helped lead me through the scripture trail to Jesus. I'm not there the way I want to be, but closer than I've ever been before...
But, even with my opening paragraph, let me affirm that there's light and life ahead... Go for it!
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Steve
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Posted: Thu Feb 15th, 2007 04:39 am |
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Yes, I like what Gaylon said and let me be clear about this to encourage you:
You absolutely can get free of this!
I know so many real-life, ordinary men who have ripped off the shackles of this addiction. It's indeed hard work, but it definitely can be done.
Personally, I consider my recovery to be one of the hardest and most meaningful things I have ever done in my life. I am clearly not the same man "on the other side" of this journey Amazing grace! God gets all the credit! 
-Steve
Last edited on Thu Feb 15th, 2007 04:40 am by Steve
____________________
"Isolation is bad for any man, but for the sexual addict it is fatal." -Russell Willingham
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lilodejo
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Posted: Thu Feb 15th, 2007 06:22 am |
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I am encouraged to read that you, Steve are living proof that recovery is possible. That was all I needed to hear.
Lisa
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Neo
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Posted: Thu Feb 15th, 2007 11:00 pm |
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Whoohho, one whole day.
To answer Steve: What am I struggling with?
I fall into sexual deviancy (namely porn) when I lose sight of Yahwe and begin to fill lonely. So loneliness drives me into a further mess, but I think the initial problem could be linked to any number of reasons. So rather than praying and realligning I will spiral further down.
As for further matters of the heart? Not sure. It's my hope that I can allow God to cut out the sin. I don;t have any real problems other than a strong desire for a another. I'm single right now.
And the steps I'm taking, well I confessed it on here, before God and I'm reading the Holy Scriptures, the Confessions of St. Augustine (who had his own set of problems), and I try to keep m mind on the things above.
Don;t worry about the poll. I thought I initially had to put one up to post something.
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APR
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Posted: Sat Feb 17th, 2007 12:19 pm |
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Hey brother,
I pray that you are doing good today? Here's a late welcome for you,
God Bless
Art
____________________
I am the way and truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through Me.
-John 14:6
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Neo
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| Joined: | Wed Feb 14th, 2007 |
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Posted: Sat Feb 17th, 2007 09:33 pm |
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| Thanx man. Things are going ok so far. 3 days down, a lifetime to go.
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APR
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Posted: Tue Feb 20th, 2007 03:14 am |
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Glad to hear it, sorry I have been away sick.
Been praying for you and hope everything's well,
Art
____________________
I am the way and truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through Me.
-John 14:6
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