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Marcogol
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Posted: Thu Feb 1st, 2007 03:42 pm |
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Hey guys, im new here in this forum and i cant describe how exciting this walk will be with you guys
intro:
Hi, im marco, im from the philippines and 21 years old... been struggling with lust (porn, masturbation) for almost 10 years or so?
before i really didnt care, well since, the release is somehow satisfying.
found my place in Christ april of last year, and since then its been a see saw battle...
This time i hope and pray that i'll overcome masturbation and porn
ive been struggling as i surf along the internet, and im just sick and tired of the guilt that i feel everytime i do the deed... i dont want it anymore, im tired of that disconnection that i feel with God and putting guilt and anger with myself.
I Blocked my usual sites now, and hopefully blocked for good... but i know myself... maybe soon ill just dig them all out and look at them again...
been single all my life and maybe the depression of not having a girlfriend also adds up to why i always do the dirty deed, and mostly how women just provoke my weakness (with the way they dress and act).
Day 1:
I'm about to sleep and just found this site suggested by someone from onethingglobal.com forums as well... i read some of the posts and im telling you guys... im in.
im about to dig in the word now and ask for strength tonight so that i would not sulk in my weakness... im weak and only the strength that i draw from Jesus would help me overcome.
-Marco
____________________
Psalm 27:4 (NIV)
4 One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of th
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Billyeah
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| Joined: | Sat Aug 27th, 2005 |
| Location: | Alberta Canada |
| Posts: | 235 |
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Posted: Thu Feb 1st, 2007 06:30 pm |
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My friend you have found a real safety net here. You are going to make friends with people who have been, and are exacly where you are right now. Keep coming back and reading the articles, read the posts, I had one on selfishness that some people liked. Not to toot my own horn, I just think it was a helpful post, and that is what we are here to do. We are all here to help eachother overcome this demonic force that's in our lives. I really hope you stick around, the more people fighting evil, the stronger we all become.
God Bless
If you have any questions, fire away, because there are many people around here that are more than capable of answering you.
Bill
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APR
Member
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Posted: Thu Feb 1st, 2007 06:35 pm |
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Welcome!
There's lots of support and prayer on here, lots of guidence for the asking.
God Bless
Art
____________________
I am the way and truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through Me.
-John 14:6
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Marcogol
Member
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Posted: Fri Feb 2nd, 2007 01:34 am |
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Start of day 2:
Hey guys, morning in the office, and i slept the night off  its really heart warming to see a whole community of warriors. Since everytime i just isolate myself hehe...
I'm pretty open about this addiction to my friends, but somehow it keeps on zoning out when im alone. It's just sad that it changes the way i look at women too... and i dont like it.
Another struggle that i'm really frustrated on are the rants of my old friends... they keep on saying about "you're losing your manhood" or something, but i really feel more mature and more of a man when i fight this. They could say what they want but im gunning for that Great Unknown (Eph 3:19).
By the way, i dont think my blocker would sustain the monstrous lust, any site blocker to suggest? So far as for my self evaluation, i only get my hands on porn on-line. So i guess cutting the sites of and redirecting me to a certain site would really help
thanks guys for your support and prayers... im really glad i found a home here
MDJ
____________________
Psalm 27:4 (NIV)
4 One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of th
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Billyeah
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| Joined: | Sat Aug 27th, 2005 |
| Location: | Alberta Canada |
| Posts: | 235 |
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Posted: Fri Feb 2nd, 2007 02:10 am |
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Glad to hear your doing well. But I will say this, you may want to distance yourself somewhat from people who say you are losing your manhood. If you don't want to lose them as friends, at least don't talk to them about your struggle. Satan has a strong enough grip, you don't need to give him tools to help him. You know what I mean?
God Bless
Stay strong in Christ
Bill
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gaylon
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Posted: Fri Feb 2nd, 2007 05:35 am |
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There's no site blocker strong enough... None. Filters can help 'accidental' access (which can happen), but it's no accident that we're doing... The thing that has helped me most in that area is what I learned from a Christian counselor. To learn to recognize the thoughts and patterns that are leading up to the act, and cut myself off long before I pull up the first site, and turn my attention to something else. Whenever I notice that I'm on Google doing random searches, or searching on sites that probably have women in bikinis (for example) which always leads to more and more, then I get up and do something else (pick your activity). I ask myself "what legitimate need am I feeling now that I have always fulfilled with sex" and "how can I fullfil that need in some other way". Often it's a need for closeness and acceptance by someone else, so, in my case, I call my wife or a good friend or relative. Or, I exercise or walk around. Or, get outside for a few minutes. Or read scripture and pray. Etc.
Anyway, probably a good thing for you to find a Christian counselor, experienced and successful in helping men with sexual compulsive behaviors (addictions)...
Many men (and probably women) praying for you now that you've posted... Keep up the fight!
--- Gaylon V.
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Marcogol
Member
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Posted: Fri Feb 2nd, 2007 08:51 am |
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Day is almost ending, and about to go home to my parents house (no pc, no net) so i might not be able to attend to this site for a couple of days...
Anyway, yeah, i open this up to our young adults pastor who is about the same age as i am.
Thats what i noticed about me, at first i'm good for the day as long as i dont hang on the net for so long visiting my usual sites... (and yeah it starts from bikini's then deeper and deeper...) what you feed lives, and what you starve dies...
an idlemind is truly the devils playground...
love you guys...
-MDJ
____________________
Psalm 27:4 (NIV)
4 One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of th
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RickH
Member
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Posted: Fri Feb 2nd, 2007 09:33 pm |
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Marco,
Welcome. I will add my voice to the chorus of men who welcome you to this forum. I have found great support already in men are striving to gain victory over lust through the power of the Holy Spirit and through the grace/accountability of our virtual accountability partners.
I will be praying and pulling for you. Stay in touch. As Mike Genung always says, isolcation is death.
Rick
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Bill
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| Joined: | Wed Jan 31st, 2007 |
| Location: | Mississippi USA |
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Posted: Fri Feb 2nd, 2007 11:45 pm |
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Hello Friends,
Well, day 4 is almost over and it looks like I will make it through. It has really been tough today, but every time I get the urge to go to a porn site I make myself go to Blazing Grace instead. I start reading your post and it really help me get my mind out of the gutter. Thanks again for ya'll just being here for me.
Marco, as far as a internet filter I have one that is suppose to be real good. OK wait a minute. I know what you are thinking " If he has such a good filter why is he having problems with online porn" well I will try to explain it to you. My filter is "Bsafe online" It is very good but the only problem is that you can get a code to over ride it, and that is what I have done. I said in another post yesterday that I have not talked to my wife about this and it scares me to death to think about telling her. I don't know how to start talking about it. I got this filter a few months ago and I told her that it was for our son. She has no idea that it was for me but I just over ride it. She does not know that I can over ride it and go whereever I want to on the net. (Or as for that matter that I even need it for myself) Anyway, I have decided to tell her that I want her to do away with my "over ride password" and put one in so I can not over ride it. This will give me an opening to start talking to her about my addiction. What do ya'll think abou that for an opening?
OK, that is all I have to say for now. It is really hard for me to write down my thoughts so please excuse me if I just ramble and say a lot without saying anything.
Thanks again and God bless everyone
I hope we all have a good weekend
Billy
Last edited on Fri Feb 2nd, 2007 11:46 pm by Bill
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RickH
Member
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Posted: Sat Feb 3rd, 2007 12:06 am |
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Billy,
It is a good opening. But, please whatever you do, please do not believe Satan's lies that keeping the truth from her is "protecting" her. I fought the devil for 10 years on this very issue before I finally confessed to my wife. The burden was lifted when I did. The truth truly shall set you free.
If you don't mind a little advice from a guy who completely understands your reluctance, allow me to suggest this to you. Please buy Mike Genuing's new book, The Road to Grace. It is outstanding. He discusses this issue of confessing to our wives in the book. Pardon me for quoting directly, but it is really good stuff:- "Sexual sin warps a man's character; your wife who know you better than anyone, can see it from a mile away (p21)
- "Many wives are more angry and hurt from the lies and betrayal than by what their husbands did. (p22)
- "By telling your wife, you force yourself to choose between her and sexual sin" (p22)
To be clear, I quoted extensively from Mike Genung's book, The Road to Grace, Blazing Grace Publishing, Colorado Springs, CO.
Bottom line, as you move along the road of recovery, you will tell her. Might as well do it sooner before there are more lies and cover-ups.
You are in my prayers. Let me know how it goes.
God Bless
Rick
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Marcogol
Member
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Posted: Sun Feb 4th, 2007 12:23 pm |
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Hey guys, how have you been doing? so far its all good for me, im "dirty deed" free for about 4 days now, and havent felt free like this. Thanks for the prayers and support.
Got cravings to go and check the usual sights/sites that i used to, think about what i saw around... but man, the satisfaction of what the Word brings... i dont want to miss a thing.
To those who are like me...
stay strong ... our God is capable of freeing us to these worldly stuff...
amen
-MDJ
____________________
Psalm 27:4 (NIV)
4 One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of th
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APR
Member
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Posted: Wed Feb 7th, 2007 06:52 am |
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Marcogaol,
How are you doing Brother?
Blessings,
Art
____________________
I am the way and truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through Me.
-John 14:6
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Goori
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Posted: Mon Feb 19th, 2007 01:00 pm |
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I really don't know what to write...i'm new to this site.
I've been indulging in pornography for a very long time, even before i became a Christian just over 3yrs ago i could see the negative affects that it was having on my life emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, socially and financially.
I just want to be free from this stronghold in my life. I know that i will learn from many other people that are apart of this online community, people that understand.
Thankyou.
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Bill
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Posted: Mon Feb 19th, 2007 02:48 pm |
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Welcome Goori,
I found this site about 3 weeks ago. It has truly been a blessing for me. Everyone hare is just so loving, caring, and understanding. It does not matter what you have done or how you feel about youtself, there are people here that have gone through and felt the same things you are feeling. we are just one big happy family, and we are all here for you. Thank you for coming in here.
May God bless you as we go through this time together.
I'm praying for you
Billy Day 21 OOOOOOOHHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH DEAR LORD!!!!!!
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guitarist63
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Posted: Mon Feb 19th, 2007 10:18 pm |
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Welcome to Blazing Grace, Marco. You are approaching the problem with the right attitude and I am sure you'll win, with God's power and constant help. Guitarist63
Last edited on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 11:12 pm by guitarist63
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guitarist63
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Posted: Mon Feb 19th, 2007 10:22 pm |
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Welcome, Goori. Guitarist63
Last edited on Thu Jun 21st, 2007 11:11 pm by guitarist63
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geeky_student
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Posted: Tue Feb 20th, 2007 12:52 am |
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Hi Marcol,
For me, 4 days is pretty... long, sometimes I can go about a week (but not 7 days)
I think the record was a week and a half (no internet connection haha). And I agree with you, idlemind is a way for the devil to get a foothold, I should definitely try to avoid that. I recently talked to my friend online and we started an accountability system --- we each have to write a report after we commit the deed.
Keep it up brother!
As for me...
Day 1
Looked at it several time, quit, looked at again, confessed, then tripped again. Please do pray for me guys! Thanks!
____________________
For God, for her, for my parents, for own good.
tip: when tempted, think of God, think of that special someone you love.
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Setfree2007
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Posted: Sun Mar 4th, 2007 04:47 am |
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I am single myself and have been through the many battles you describe. On Aug. 2, 2000 after fighting the habitual sin on my own for several years, I cried out to God for deliverance and 2 days later, a friend of mine who was also struggling led me to settingcaptivesfree.com--an online ministry that consists of a free 60 day pure freedom course. Many including myself have benefited from this.
My testimony is below:
My Name is Joe, and I am 28 years old. I was blessed to have come to know the Lord Jesus at the age of five. It was through the teaching of my parents that I came to know Christ and began to grow in my faith. I was blessed to be a part of a Christian school where their motto was "training in righteousness." I was baptized in May 1997 in the Jordan River during a college trip to Israel. Based on the presence and conviction of the Holy Spirit living inside of me and based on Eph. 2:8-9 and other related passages in Scripture, I have full assurance of my salvation in Christ.
Despite having known the Lord, However, I struggled with habitual sin for many years. Praise the Lord that although I used to be in shackles to pornography and other forms of sexual impurity, I am now set free by the precious blood of Christ. I have never been married and at 28 years of age feel so blessed to be set free well before that ever happens! I tried ending the habitual aspect of this sin on my own for three years, but then on August 2, 2000, after crying out to God on my knees for deliverance and confessing that I couldn't do it on my own, I was then freed of my "slavery" to sexual impurity. The struggles lingered, however, with many battles--some of them were intense all the way through 2006. I would win many by the grace of God, but I would also lose some battles. God personally convicted me of certain music I was listening to that I needed to throw away. The Holy Spirit also showed me that I had to stop browsing websites that only gave the enemy an 'open door' into my life. Although the sites were not pornographic, they still appealed to my sinful nature. Since I have eliminated or "radically amputated" these, I have had incredible victory in my thought life, and the Lord is enabling me to take captive each thought --to make it obedient to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5), is enabling me to cancel out every impure thought via the cross of Christ, and is enabling me to be victorious over the enemy on a regular daily basis now! Praise the Lord! In addition, there were other forms of demonic oppression in my life, but the Lord has healed, delivered, and set me free of that as well and I am now walking in freedom by His grace. God has taken the place of all of the worldly treasures I once admired. In other words, I don't have to have this stuff---as my old self used to cry out. I no longer "need" this stuff in my life. All I need is the Lord.
I also want to mention that though I used to be extremely shy and had this social problem of fearing people, I am now on the radio doing what I never imagined doing, and doing what I didn't want to do initially--and that is in addition to anchoring and reporting the news-- hosting a talk show! It is a Christian program where the Lord is using me to speak out against evil and bring the truth to light. It is my goal now to reach out to those who struggle with addictions, demonic oppression, and ones who have been abused in some way via a radio ministry that I hope to be national and international someday. The Lord has allowed my radio show as it is now to be broadcasted live locally in DE and on the internet every week. Praise the Lord, and I couldn't have made it this far without Him!
"Thus saith the Lord God unto these bones; behold I will cause breath to enter into you, and ye shall come to life." Ezek. 37:5
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geeky_student
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Posted: Sun Mar 4th, 2007 06:49 am |
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Thanks Joe, that really helped me and those of us who thought we couldn't do it.
Of course, on our own we can't do it. And this is a problem with me sometimes, A lot of times I don't cry out to God right away when i am tempted, I get in the junk first 
and sometimes i rely on myself to get out... foolish.
Thanks for the post, I should fully rely on God. God bless you and your ministry which He has given you! I am sure you are helping many people everyday.
STAY CLEAN EVERYONE!
____________________
For God, for her, for my parents, for own good.
tip: when tempted, think of God, think of that special someone you love.
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geeky_student
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Posted: Sun Mar 4th, 2007 07:06 am |
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Also, I wanted to mention: lately I've been attacked constantly by dirty and immoral and impure and perverted (you get the idea) thoughts. Thoughts I don't want to have, I dismiss them but they sometimes come back. It's very degrading and I keep on thinking of the girl I love in that kind of image. I really don't want to, as in, I don't want to think it at all, it flashes up in my mind sometimes -- alot lately.
I think it's the devil trying to deceive me into thinking that "I can't stay sober" and get me all pissed and angry and turn to pornography for escape, he's trying to deceive me into thinking that "I am trapped, no way I can get out" and make me feel all ashamed. I shouldn't have let him get a foothold in the first place. God has shown me how wrong I was thinking it was no big deal to look at it, I've been proven wrong, and not for the first time. And praise God that He has shown me the devil's evil tricks.
Thank God!
Please do pray for me. Stay clean everyone! Remember: God is with us
____________________
For God, for her, for my parents, for own good.
tip: when tempted, think of God, think of that special someone you love.
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