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jfwcali
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Posted: Thu Dec 28th, 2006 05:42 pm |
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OK, so here I am. I am going to lean on you guys during this recovery time. I'm 35 and have been struggling w/ p&m for about 15 years now. Man...just writing that it's been 15 years crushed me. 
I've read a lot of threads here, and I'm encouraged by the support I've seen. God bless you guys...you all have my prayers, and I covet yours.
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henny
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Posted: Thu Dec 28th, 2006 06:38 pm |
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jfw,
I'm going to copy the advice I gave to a pastor in la. Not sure I could say anything different to you. I think the most important thing is to do it now. Do not let another day go by without taking these steps. I did. I thought, well, just one more day of indulgence and then I will seek help/quit/do something. Thirty years later I am finally free. Thirty years. Wasted. Destroyed. Ruined. DO IT NOW!!!!
I am a recovering sex addict. First, you are not alone. If you haven't already, I suggest you read as many of the threads on this site as you can. And go to the link for the newsletter and read the past issues. Then go to Shelley Lubben's website, http://www.shelleylubben.com and read everything there.
Then, go to this website and read this article. It deals with the brain chemistry that is involved in pornography addiction. You may think it is merely sin that you are dealing with, and in fact we know it is sin. But, and this is crucial, there are powerful neuro/chemical processes going on in your brain that impact your chances of success.
http://www.drjudithreisman.com/archives/2005/12/senate_subcommi.html
It says in part:
"It may seem surprising that, at this juncture, I should speak of "chemicals," when one might be thinking instead of "sex." But, in fact, modern science allows us to understand that the underlying nature of an addiction to pornography is chemically nearly identical to a heroin addiction: Only the delivery system is different, and the sequence of steps. That is why heroin addicts in particular give up sex and routinely compare their "rushes" to "orgasms."
The pornography addict soon forgets about everything and everyone else in favor of an ever more elusive sexual jolt. He will eventually be able to find it only among other "junkies" like himself, and he will place at risk his career, his friends, his family. He will indulge his habit anywhere and everywhere, at any time. No one, no matter how highly placed, is immune. And like all other addicts, the pornography addict will lie to cover it up, heedless of risk or cost to himself or to others."
In your reading I suggest you go to the "Spouses, For Wives" page and read some of the stories put out there by the women who have been crushed by their husbands sexual addiction. Feel their pain. It is devastating.
Then as a4givn1 suggests, get help. Get it now. Do not let one more day go by before you find and join some kind of addiction group. Confess your sin. Bring it to the light. You know 1 Jn 1:7, and ps 69, vs 1-5. Pastor, my friend and brother, read Psalm 69 as a prayer to your saviour. It brings tears to my eyes. I know your desperation. I know your shame. I know the horror you feel as you look at this vile addiction.
And so do many others. Read the statistics page on this web site. You are not alone. Satan is here to steal and kill and destroy, and pornography is one of his most potent weapons. He will steal your mind, kill your ministry and destroy your life.
I have been ruined by pornography. But it is not too late. Do not give rest to your eyes until you have gone to our gracious savior and laid this at his feet.
But do it now. Do it now! Do not indulge yourself one more time. I did that. And thirty years went by. Thirty wasted years in sewage and filth. Take the battle to the enemy today. Drag his sorry ass into the light and crush this hold he has on your soul.
I will pray for you, my brother. Do not let pride keep you from fighting this sin.
Last edited on Wed Jan 3rd, 2007 05:28 pm by henny
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splendor
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Posted: Thu Dec 28th, 2006 09:01 pm |
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| Henny, I am wondering why you put a porn filled address in your post?
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henny
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Posted: Thu Dec 28th, 2006 11:39 pm |
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| Which website? Shelley Lubben is a fine Christian gal with a dynamic ministry. The senate subcommitee site is published by the government. Not sure what you are referring to.
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henny
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Posted: Thu Dec 28th, 2006 11:45 pm |
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splendor and jfw,
the hot link I typed in was misspelled. It is http://www.shelleylubben.com
In my original post I forgot the e in shelley and spelled it shelly. Sorry for the confusion. I would never direct someone to a pornographic website.
Please accept my apologies.
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splendor
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Posted: Fri Dec 29th, 2006 03:35 am |
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| Easy mistake. I believe ya.
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TimM
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Posted: Fri Dec 29th, 2006 05:56 am |
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henny,
Could you edit the posts where the wrong link appears and fix it? Obviously you don't want it there for future readers.
Tim M.
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wretch_like_me
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Posted: Wed Jan 3rd, 2007 05:20 am |
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henny, (or anybody)
Seriously, could that post with the misspelled link be corrected? I almost inadvertently clicked on it earlier. Not to mention that teeny tiny voice in the back of my head saying, "so what is on that site?" PLEASE, remove that temptation!
On a related note, I went on the Shelley Lubben site and also read the article on the blazinggrace home page by her. I tell you, that one article has completely revolutionized my thinking. When I would surf the net looking for porn, I would be repulsed and angered by the ones that showed people being manipulated into having sex. I do not like seeing people being tricked or lied to. I wanted to find the sites where the women truly "wanted it". Guess what: there aren't any sites like that! What a fool am I! I have been deceiving myself! I can't believe I bought into that lie! Shelley's comments have completely shattered that illusion that these women enjoy this lifestyle. How sad, my heart truly aches at this moment. These girls are somebody's daughter, sister, etc. May God forgive my role in their pain.
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