| Author | Post |
|---|
lost and lonely
Member
| Joined: | Mon Nov 20th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 7 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |  |
|
Posted: Mon Nov 20th, 2006 07:48 pm |
|
| It's so hard to accept that I am the way I am. I have been freely exposed to porn since I was 5 or 6 years old, I am now 33. My wife is getting ready to leave me because I did something I thought I never would have, it was just exciting to do it. She hates me, I hate myself, and I am desperate to change the way I am. I never physically cheated on my wife, although lustful thoughts are the same thing, but my last actions may have been even worse. I don't think she will ever forgive me, or that I will even forgive myself. I have never felt before the way that I do now, sick with myself, empty.....and what she is feeling has to be so much worse. I do not think that she believes in an addiction to pornography or that sexual addictions exist, but I am struggling with the knowledge of how real they are. Please pray for me, that my marriage can be saved, and that I can find a way out of this grave I have dug for myself.
|
gaylon
Member
| Joined: | Wed Oct 4th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 237 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |   |
|
Posted: Mon Nov 20th, 2006 11:38 pm |
|
Lost,
Read some more of the posts on this site. We have all been where you are at one time or the other in ours lives, some more recently than others, and some of us still in the middle of the pain, but we all know how bad it feels. But there is hope. The Adversary is the one telling you there's no hope, and he often does a good job of hiding from us that it's his lies in our heads. I've certaining felt that despair, and it's horrible -- the way the evil one wants it. There's lots of good advice on this forum and site. My path started with professional Christian counseling from a counselor with a strong track record in helping with sexual addictions / compulsions. Other things you'll see here (and also on sites like http://www.pureonline.com, and http://www.newlife.com) are to get a Christian male accountability partner; get in a recovery group; prayer; yield to Jesus (see Mike Genung's new book, (see http://www.roadtograce.com) just released, promises to be a wonderful guide for sex addicts. The book "Every Man's Battle" (on newlife.com) really helped my wife to better understand the nature of male sexuality, and has helped me in the quest for purity. Almost all of us who are sex addicts were exposed to sex and/or pornography at a very early age, and were sexually abused/molested at an early age, and have essentially been addicted to sex as a means of soothing our emotions, false intimacy, since childhood or early teen years. There is hope for you. Start taking some of the steps I've mentioned, and let your wife know you're doing it. I pray for you and your wife to find God's peace... --- Gaylon V.
|
lost and lonely
Member
| Joined: | Mon Nov 20th, 2006 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 7 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Mon Nov 20th, 2006 11:42 pm |
|
Thank you so much for your reply, it means alot. I'm desperately hoping and praying that my wife will stay with me, I betrayed her in such a horrible way that I know I am asking alot for her to even try. But please remember me in your prayers.
Thank you,
Tony B
|
Current time is 12:27 pm | |
|
|
|
RSS