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a4givn1
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Posted: Fri Oct 27th, 2006 05:44 pm |
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Hi there... I am realizing this is an emotional issue for me and I need to take steps to help me emotionally... One is an online accountability ../friendship.. evey day... takes about 5 min... at most..
and there is always people here.. Looking for realtime chat.. But I think this may be better because
it works for other peoples time schedule.. I just don't want to be talking to the wall....
Sober today by his grace...
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Billyeah
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Posted: Fri Oct 27th, 2006 07:50 pm |
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Well we're all here to help eachother, so if we can be a help in anyway specifically, just let us know.
God Bless
Bill
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a4givn1
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Posted: Sat Oct 28th, 2006 04:54 pm |
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Hey there ... yes thanks for the reply.. I am looking forward to checking in at least 1 time a day..
I know some days I will need 2 or 3 ...
My heart is warmed by any responces..
Day 2
Thanks ...
John K.
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Billyeah
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Posted: Sat Oct 28th, 2006 05:33 pm |
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Good to see you back. Congrats on day two. Keep it up. Stay strong in the Lord
Bill
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a4givn1
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Posted: Sat Oct 28th, 2006 11:20 pm |
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Thanks my friend....
God's Blessing to you.. Talk to you tomorrow...
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gaylon
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Posted: Sun Oct 29th, 2006 12:37 am |
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This whole "emotional" thing feels like it will kill me before I learn to deal. There's some good articles on http://www.newlife.com about this, and lots of literature, but when it comes right down to it, I mostly feel clueless about it all, in spite of thinking and trying to work it out until I get headaches.
Online is good (you can see, I'm posting semi-regular since I found the site), but one-on-one in person is better, IMHO.
Best to you. Especially when you're first starting, it can be not a day-to-day thing, but a minute-to-minute struggle. It gets a little easier over time, though. I never liked to hear people say that, since I want results "now", but it unfortunately just doesn't happen that way. Same as playing ball, learning a new video game, or whatever, it takes time to work up to profiency. Pretty much the same here, except it can hurt a H*ll of a lot more, believe me. But, "no pain, no gain" is trite but true, even if we hate that part... Especially us, since we've always been able to get online to relieve the stress and get our sex drug mainlined from the brain... Now, we're having to learn to face our negative things, and experience the hard emotions, with God's help is best....
best wishes for another good day. but, if you fall, keep going, hard as it "feels"... (emotion, again).
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a4givn1
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Posted: Sun Oct 29th, 2006 11:33 pm |
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Hi there again..... I am approaching this tenderly ... But thankful for another day....
It seems I enjoy the work of this better when I know that . 1 I am not able to do this alone...
2. I do my part....
Thanks for your support and Love.. Day 3
P.S. I listen to NLL too and I am with you.. They can speak the thing that will help me.
But am I ready to hear it. I cannot always hear .. I am thanking God for his constant mercy.
That he will bring me back to what it right. My part is to keep humble and be more humble as I
see the garbage... I Love you guys . I know we suffer together . I pray for you brothers that we
pull together..
John K.
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a4givn1
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Posted: Mon Oct 30th, 2006 04:15 pm |
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Hello Gaylon and Billyeah.... I Love you guys and am thankful that I am able to check in....
I have another day of soberiety... Day 4 by the love and grace of God..
I try to set up phone calls .... I has not worked consistantly the 8 times I have started it.
I will still talk live with people but this will be my accountability place. I really am thankfull...
that I am not alone. I am in this struggle for real. It is emotional and I am tackling it from that angle..
More info does not tought this ache.. Only that I have comfort from holy spirit and others. I also helps to reflect that this world is soooo broken and that It will always be that way..
Serenity prayer the real one... Says to accept this sinful world as it is not as I would have it.
Includes the sinful world of my heart and keep coming for his grace...
Till tomorrow....
Love you guys .. .and thanks..
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a4givn1
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Posted: Tue Oct 31st, 2006 04:49 pm |
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Another day another dollar... I still want to be sober.. It is a little more emotional today..
mucking through my boy's school issues and the X wife's insucurity to start home schooling....
I kept my mouth and my heart quiet ... But I hate seeing my boy suffer with youngsters that want nothing but sex.. He told me about girl sitting on boy's lap in school... Sexually rubbing him..
I am stunned.. Pray with me that he gets some freedom if it is God's will....
I am going to sleep now.... passing through the red zone..... I will get my comfort from God..
and especially his people as they are willing...
Thanks for listening..
Go Holy Spirit...
John K.
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gaylon
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Posted: Wed Nov 1st, 2006 12:29 am |
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Great job, John K! Seems like the first few weeks are pure h*ll, then the next few weeks are pretty much h*ll, then it gets (at little) easier. Hope you can find a good Christian counselor with experience in sexual addictions. I respect someone that manages without the counseling, but don't think I would have gotten far without it... God works through His people in each others' behalf, and it's different for each person... Hang in for another hour, then it will turn into two hours, then a day... That's the way I have to do it, at least...
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Billyeah
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Posted: Wed Nov 1st, 2006 03:21 am |
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Great Job! I love to hear other people are gaining strength, and realizing Satan isn't in control, but it's all just a matter of us telling him to back off!! In Jesus name of course. We have the strength, we have the victory, don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise!
God Bless
Bill
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a4givn1
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Posted: Fri Nov 3rd, 2006 04:41 am |
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Thanks you sooo much.. I found that my need for Love and acceptance comes alot from people that have the ability to accept weakness and struggle against it with me..
Thanks for struggling with me.. I need you guys..
Still Faithful .. No acting out for this week yet..
John K.
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Billyeah
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Posted: Fri Nov 3rd, 2006 04:29 pm |
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| Awesome to hear that you haven't acted out. Remember, and this is soooo important. And I say this to all of us. We DO NOT have the authority to look at porn. We are not our own but God's. He has given us eternal life and also authority over how we will live our lives from here on in. We CANNOT go our own way. We have made the good profession of faith, NOW is the time to live it!
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a4givn1
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Posted: Fri Nov 3rd, 2006 05:04 pm |
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Sounds like interesting knowledge..
In my recovery more knowledge has done little help over these 4 years of recovery..
What really seems to hit the spot in me to where I have no desire to lust ...
Is being wanted needed by the Lord ... and allowing him to use others to do that..
One of the biggest strides I made during that time was with a Kid's book..
I'll Love you forever I'll like you for always..
I balled for 2 weeks just thinking of how God really does love me that way..
Any way I really like that you reply and are with me in recovery ..
Along side me as one who feels my pain with me..
Love you Brother..
John K.
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Billyeah
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Posted: Sat Nov 4th, 2006 10:52 pm |
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Definately with you man, brothers in Christ. I don't know you, you don't know me but we have the same Father so how can I do anything but love you? We are all brothers, and our Father can help us overcome anything. We just need to remember to listen to him
God Bless
Bill
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a4givn1
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Posted: Sat Nov 4th, 2006 11:00 pm |
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I just missed you. I looked to see if you had written about 15 min ago..
Decided to start another thread.
It warms my heart to see your post..
I am feeling an extra measure of pain today and yesterday. A pastor in town has fallen. I had attended his church for 11 years. He has Loved us sooo well for so long it is really hard to beleive.
I am dealing with it with xtra prayer and trying to connect to you and others around me..
Doing well so far.. 8 days I think.. Just got out of the shower and had no desire to mastrubate. Miricle of God...
Love you Brother...
John K.
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Billyeah
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Posted: Mon Nov 6th, 2006 04:03 pm |
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| It's especially hard when someone whome you respect and trust falls into temptation. For some reason we always put them on a higher plane and even forget that they are human, just like us. Good job on the 8 days. Keep it up. Prayers are being sent out to your pastor and his congregation.
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a4givn1
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Posted: Tue Nov 7th, 2006 12:10 am |
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Helloooo today. Thanks for your prayers.. I too have been really more broken than I thought I would be.
But doing better today. It seems I am feeling more and escaping less.
I am realizing it's ok to feel.. Sounds silly but that seem to help me ..
I come here and spill my guts .. Really helps..
Thanks for your support..
is this another day.. according to last message it would be 10 days.
God is Good.. His Grace to me is beyond measure..
John K
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a4givn1
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Posted: Tue Nov 7th, 2006 04:41 pm |
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Checking in ...Glory to God.. Another clean day.. But boy am I a mess ..
13 yr old son .. Working out his becoming his own man.. Painful at times but good...
Trying to balance his need to be independant with the need to have honor and respect.
Lord I am weak and sinful and in constant need for your grace.. I pray you pour it out on me and my Son today..
I pray who ever follows this post would feel God's Peace and Mercy to be more obediant to him ..
John K.. I think it better to report # of weeks sober .. I will try that.. I want to steer clear of pride .. Self accomplishment.. This is God's Gift and his mercy to keep me clean..
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