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newdirection
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| Joined: | Fri Apr 4th, 2008 |
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Posted: Wed Apr 9th, 2008 11:35 pm |
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I just wanted to say hello and introduce myself to everyone. I wouldn't say treatment has began for me yet. However I do completely admit that I am addicted to Porn and Masturbation. It has been a huge problem for me since I was a teen. Now 35 I have finally realized that I need some serious help with this addiction. I have been to several counselors in the past and discussed my problem with them. One told me he didn't think it was an addiction but more of a fasination. My new level of behavior started to concern me greatly. I started to look at porn on my laptop, while in my company truck (with the company name and phone number on it). Afterwards I realized how crazy this was, I felt really stupid and said, "I better not do that again" Well low and behold I was back at McDonalds the next day for lunch and did the same thing. This really started to concern me because I don't want to lose my job. So Monday I contacted a counselor about getting some help. He advised me to get a copy of the book, Out Of The Shadows and try reading it. He said he was very busy this week but is going to call me as soon as he has an opening. Well, I read the book in one night, I was so amazed at how much it explained things. I also stopped at a church that had an add posted for help with addiction. I truely hope that I can fight this and win. I am so tired of feeling the way I do about myself. I am a worthwhile person and deserve more out of life then what I have been giving myself. Im tired of being alone and issolating myself from and enjoyable life. Thanks to everyone for your post and responsed, I look forward to my journey with you all.
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sam
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 22nd, 2007 |
| Location: | USA |
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Posted: Thu Apr 10th, 2008 12:13 am |
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welcome newdirection, you are in my prayers.
sam
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Guitarist_John
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Posted: Thu Apr 10th, 2008 07:14 am |
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Welcome newdirection.
I hope and pray that you will find encouragement and strength from your time here in this community. I know that the battle against lust can be frustrating and tiring sometimes, but keep pressing on! We're all in this together.
God bless,
John
____________________
"In the world you will have trouble, but I leave you my peace that where I am there you may also be." - Jesus
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holdsworth
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Posted: Thu Apr 10th, 2008 11:01 am |
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Welcome, newdirection
There are afew things in there I can definately relate to.
Hope you find encouragement and help in the coming months from many sources including this one.
Holdsworth
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guitarist63
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Posted: Thu Apr 10th, 2008 05:18 pm |
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Welcome and glad you're here, Newdirection. It's a brave step to open up even on an anonymous forum like this one. A lot of regulars here will be a help to you.
It sounds like you're taking the right steps to face up to quitting the m and p. Getting strong local support is also going to be good for you and clearly you've made steps in that direction too.
Only God can set you free in the end and (I speak for myself as well) you have to want to stop and draw that line and say "no more".
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hans45
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| Joined: | Mon Jan 14th, 2008 |
| Location: | Dallas, Texas USA |
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Posted: Thu Apr 10th, 2008 05:56 pm |
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Welcome aboard newdirection,
So glad you are here. One giant hurdle overcome and that is addmitting you have a problem. The first big step to recovery. All of our stories are pretty similar. We've dug ourselves into a deep pit and find it very difficult to find a way back up. I am happy you found this site and any way that we or I can help you, don't hesitate to vent. You are in my prayers. God bless you.
Dennis
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newdirection
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Posted: Thu Apr 10th, 2008 09:30 pm |
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The church That I stopped and asked about the sign they had posted for help with addiction hasn't called me back yet. I was looking forward to that call today. I am hoping I can find a 12 step program somewhere locally but this may be a challenge. Who knows? I will ask my therapist/councelor when I see him if he knows of any groups. I don't think im going to have much luck without some outside help. I only have 5 visits with this therapist to set a plan in motion, Financially I don't have the money to continue seeing him, I am lucky that my employeer has an employee assistance program that will pay for the five visits. I am very scared, but hopeful. It was helpful to read Out of The Shadows. I was online last night and found myself in a video chatroom. But this time I looked at it in a completely different way then I ever have. Its amazing to see what this addiction does to people. We are so rude and vulger when we lower ourselves to this temptation. I guess one of the things Im starting to realize is that im not only hurting myself but the other people also. I wonder if women have any idea when I look at them the kind of things that cross my mind. This is one of the things I would like to stop because it makes me feel horrible and worthless. I wish I could look at an attractive woman without thinking about sex. Another thing I have noticed myself doing is wondering other people I see daily might have the same problem I do, I don't guess this is a bad thing. Its so hard not to want to tell the people around me about my problem. I want them to understand and help me if possible, but I don't think I could handle the judgement they would put on me. I am so lonely and longing for a healthy relationship.
Thanks for the words of encouragement from everyone, I am know realizing there is hope an I am a worthwhile person. I deserve more out of life than this life of addicition. We all do! Thanks again to everyone.
J
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guitarist63
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Posted: Thu Apr 10th, 2008 10:04 pm |
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newdirection
It's good to read from your first posts that you are determined to fight this problem in your life.
It appears you're single. There are more people here who are married but there are a few single men so you can benefit from the company of both who are dealing with sexual immorality.
Last edited on Thu Apr 10th, 2008 10:07 pm by guitarist63
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dejarlo
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| Joined: | Thu Apr 3rd, 2008 |
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Posted: Tue May 6th, 2008 10:10 pm |
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newdirection,
Welcome. I pray that you find the peace and strength in God to overcome.
____________________
Please hold me accountable.
Safe Eyes Friend login at
https://secure.parentalctrl.com/portal/
Username: mihistoria
Password: mihistoria
Thank you for your support. And God bless you in your struggle.
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